sharing a hotel room
Here's a good one. Would you be comfortable sleeping in the same hotel room as your partner's teenage child of the opposite sex?
So the deal here is my ex husband and his GF planned a family vacation and booked a room with 2 queen beds. My 9 year old son & his 16 year old 1/2 brother would share a bed and then ex & GF would share the other. This vacation was booked for months. BM told me last night that about a week ago ex emailed her that GF was freaking out because she didn't know where she would get ready or change with the 16 year old there ( she planned the trip months ago I was told). Her response was well doesn't the room have a bathroom? That is where I would get ready. The ex told her well she was never blessed with children so she doesn't know how this works. She is 44 has brothers and has been married twice for pete's sake. She is very nice but strikes me as kind of immature.
We just went through a similar situation as we went on a road trip, my husband who is childless and BS9 & I and we shared a room. My husband sleeps naked (TMI) and made a comment before about it would be different to not do so because BS was in the room but he would live. He did and BS & him had a blast screwing around till I had to tell them to go to sleep. My husband joked it was like having a sleep over. Sometimes I think I got married and my kid ended up with a big playmate.
I have slept in the same room with my skids when they were younger and it never phased me. My relationship with them is different than they have with the new GF though. She leaves the house when they stay with their dad a lot ( she is around more when it is just BS and they have a very nice relationship) she has not established one really with the big kids. Heck I could sleep in the same room with them now and it would not be a huge deal but to me they are family.
SS16 ended up not going on the trip. He and his dad are having some issues and he just got back from working at boy scout camp for 5 weeks.
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Thankfully my skids and my BS
Thankfully my skids and my BS are nice respectful NORMAL NON STINKY kids. These kids have been parented. What I tell BS when I am making him do things he doesn't want to do that this is training for success!
WTF, is there not a boot camp for kids like this? Send your husband too.
I think it depends on the
I think it depends on the situation and the people a lot.
I wouldn't have too much of an issue sleeping in the same room as SS14, and actually will be on a family road trip we have planned over Christmas. We'll need to rent a hotel room for 1 night each way of the trip since it will take 2 days of driving.
I'm sure it could be a bit awkward, but for me it's not that big of a deal. Just have to change in the bathroom etc. Even now, when skids are gone I'll wear a t-shirt around the house with no bra, but when they are home I'll either put a bra on, or a sweater so I'm not "nipping" lol
Of course, there would be a
Of course, there would be a time and place for everything and there may be other circumstances to take into account, but sharing a room with a non-related person of the opposite sex shouldn't be some huge issue.
My SD's are the same sex as me, and we have definitely shared rooms, and we all generally would dress in the bathroom in privacy. Sometimes for a small upcharge, you can get a suite which may have a separate sitting area with a pull out couch.
My experience in sharing a room was with my DH, both his girls (one 12 one 9), his male friend and his friend's pre-teen son. There was a closet that had bunk beds where the girls slept, but the main room had one queen bed (me and my DH) and a pull out queen where his friend and his son slept. Yeah, we all dressed in privacy the friend and his son dressed first in the bathroom and left to go for a walk while the girls and I did our thing then my DH got his shower last (such a gentleman).
It's not ideal and if you CAN afford two rooms and the kids are old enough great but sometimes it isn't financially or logistically easy to do. Like I wouldn't put a 9 year old kid in a room alone.
I also wouldn't have the skids on a honeymoon or anniversary trip either for certain.. um reasons.
I personally wouldn't care.
I personally wouldn't care. But I am in a different situation, as I have young adults and little ones. I am used to being around kids and changing discreetly. I would just change in the bathroom.
With that said, if I didn't have kids or ever around kids I may be a little more self concious. It depends on comfort level. If it were me I would have booked a suite, which is what we usually do with our bios. Not that much more and so much extra room.
If skid didn't end up going, then it is a nonissue now I guess.
I dont care if I get flamed.
I dont care if I get flamed. Flame away...
But I am going to say ... A gf spending the night with the kids in the house is not a great example for your kids. BM would have guys spending the night after a couple of months. Maybe it is just me, but I wouldn't need a sleepover if I had the kids.
No communal bathroom.
No communal bathroom. Personally I have no idea where they are even staying or any details. We do not speak unless necessary. He is an a$$hole and many other things but I know he is not putting our son in danger on the trip. He was going to have him call me at the same time he normally calls him during the week, last night when he was picking up BS I told him BS and I discussed it and we feel it is not necessary.BS will call me to let me know he is back in our state on Saturday. BS has my other phone and can call or text me if he would need to in an emergency.
Not even if they'd taken a
Not even if they'd taken a sleeping pill. PigPen is stinky and nasty and whiny (and we'd have to have a light on). PrincASS is on his phone half the night and he snores. Blech.
It depends. I have slept and
It depends. I have slept and stealthily changed in the corner of a hotel room with SSthen4 at Disney World. He's not allowed to sleep with me or come talk to me in the bathroom for preventative purposes. I'm not about to set myself up for a CPS visit. I actually made DH sleep with SS and I had the other bed to myself on vacation. When I needed to change I went to the bathroom except for a few times when it was late, DH was in the shower and SS was already laid down for bed. I just cut the light off and changed. I don't think I will do it when he's a teenager. That's weird.
By chance is this new girlfriend a stepchild? Perhaps she feels entitled to a space dedicated to her changing or maybe this is her way of trying to wiggle into getting separate rooms.
I think that is sets up
I think that is sets up daughters for a whole slew of issues.
If dad is sleeping with flavor of the week all the time then I would see daddy issues and low expectations in her future.
In the same way I think a BM who sleeps with flavor of the week sets up her sons to think it is okay to use and discard women like tissue.
"she didn't know where she
"she didn't know where she would get ready or change with the 16 year old there" - um, the same place she would get ready or change with a 9 year old there. or am i missing something?
i've stayed at hotels with the boys. it's not rocket science.
As the mother of the 9 year
As the mother of the 9 year old I would hope in the bathroom.
Bs is very modest, he won't even let the doctor see his swim suit region. Lol.
Trust me she is not some super hottie. She is just a average 44 year old woman.
I would not want to share a
I would not want to share a room with a 16 year old male who is virtually a stranger to me. Not really that worried about how to change clothes, etc. - just basically don't want to share a room with a strange man.
I would never, ever, ever
I would never, ever, ever sleep in the same room as skid. I don't know what she was thinking planning that trip. That's one of the many reasons skid will never, ever, ever go on a vacation with us.
What she said!!!
What she said!!!