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So done...

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

SD15 has been back to full attitude! There was a band picnic today. SD15 got home from it at 3 pm, and straight to her room. Any attempt by DH to talk to her has resulted in a "leave me alone" attitude!

So dinner comes around. The princess graces us with her presence after DH flat out tells her to come out of her room. As she walks through the kitchen, she sees the salad and king ranch chicken I made for dinner and makes a face if disgust! DH tries to tell her to eat, and again with her disgusted face, "I'm not hungry. I are a lot at the band thing." Yeah right...I've seen how she eats when people are around...she doesn't! I always find it interested that EVERY time she is somewhere besides home, and is back home for a meal, she says she ate a ton of food. Oh her a ton of food is all of 5 bites instead of her usual 2-3!

Anyway, I tell DH flat out not to force SD15 to make a plate because it will just end up in the trash, and I'm tired of my cooking ending up in the trash when one of us can eat it as left overs, or BS19 will gladly eat it when he comes home from working on his truck! If SD15 gets hungry, there is sandwich stuff! Made sure to say this with SD15 right there!

Her highness is now sitting on the end of the couch on her tablet with headphones jammed her ears being unsociable! DH should just tell her to go back in her room...really!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Concerns have already been brought to DH's attention many, many times! He does nothing outside of words! SD15 goes through cycles of starving and purging! If it is junk food, she will binge and purge. If it is healthy food, she will play with her food for about an hour and throw it in the trash. You bring up that SD15 conveniently disappears to the bathroom for like 10 minutes after she does eat, and he will ask her if she is purging. She denies it, he let's it go!

I'm tired of her wasting good food with this BS, and treating my cooking like it is trash (which, by the way, many folks love my cooking). If she is going to be that way about it, there is sandwich stuff when she gets hungry! I'm done! DH wants to ignore she has a problem, I can't force him to do anything about it!

She's in a starvation phase lately. Has been eating maybe one meal a day. Even then, it is only a few bites of a sandwich and some juice. I mean, school is getting ready to start, she has to look good, right? Part of me is hoping she will fall out one day during practice so DH is forced to do something other than tell SD15 she needs to eat right!

fuckitall's picture

Does she see a therapist, that sounds like it could be needed. With eating disorders they say the person is trying to control the only thing they can fully control, what they eat and what comes out of their body.
Just a thought.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

A few years ago, SD15 was cutting. She saw a therapist then, but it did nothing. SD15 would sit through the whole session in silence, then went home and told BM she didn't want to go any more. So, BM said she didn't have to go, because what princess wants, princess gets!

Then, SD15 started getting in other trouble...pot, sneaking out, skipping school, drinking. BM then sent the girl to us, because BM's husband...the meal ticket...threatened to leave with his son if SD15 wasn't sent away! Now, most of SD15's life, BM has been trying to block DH from SD15. Weekend visits were cancelled many times because BM planned sleepovers, or SD15 claimed she didn't feel well or just didn't want to go!

So now, we have super guilty Disney Dad! There can't possibly be anything wrong with his princess! She just needs love! Well, her definition of showing her love is giving her whatever she wants...expensive makeup, clothes, etc. Oh heck no!!! Not with my money, because DH does not have the income to support such high maintenance!

I've brought up a couple of times that SD15 should go back to a therapist...if anything, BM is diagnosed bipolar, and that is hereditary! No way...he says there is no way SD15 has any issues like that and I shouldn't be speaking that kind of stuff over her! UGH! She just needs love and stability...that is what he keeps saying. What she needs is someone in her life to put their foot down and tell her like it is, instead of letting SD15 run things as she has her whole life! Any time I bring up anything that may be "wrong" with SD15, it's a huge fight! SD15 doesn't follow any rules,..even the simple ones such as picking up after herself. When DH wanted to review her class selection for next school year befor signing, SD15 literally told him he didn't need to be concerned about her classes! If she is told no to anything, she has a fit about it (not used to hearing that word). She alienates everyone be acting like she is better than they are...she has like one friend in school, and that is problbly only because the girl worships the ground SD15 walks on. She is very self absorbed...everything is always about her, and I can't tell you how much time she spends taking selfies or in the mirror. So yeah...she has problems alright!

Orange County Ca's picture

Sounds like in-patient therapy is needed.

She's setting herself up for adult onset diseases and conditions which may not show up for years and meanwhile she's stunting her growth and brain development.

You need to get a book off of on eating disorders and give it to him to read. Men will often take the word of an expert. After all what does a spouse know?

Bex_S's picture

She's showing classic signs of an eating disorder. The "I ate before" was my constant excuse so I could get away with not eating. You need to kick DH up the arse and get that girl some treatment before she becomes really physically ill.