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SD18 turned down $50?!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

SD18 calls her brother, SS16, while he was at our house and tells SS16 to tell my DH that she needs him to buy her luggage for a trip.
BM, her spouse, her mother, her brother, her 5 children by 4 men (2 are my DH's), and her oldest BD's fiancee and their 3yo all just came back from a 10-day vacation. 11 people, not one piece of luggage?
My DH looks at me (we are in the kitchen and SS16 is yelling from the living room because he cannot leave his game) and says "WTH?"
Aniki: BM and her posse just got back from vacation. Did they put everything in grocery sacks??
DH: He!! no. BM has tons of luggage.
Aniki: Then why does SD18 need any??
DH: BM probably wants new luggage.
Aniki: BM can go jump!
DH: Any ideas?
Aniki: What does she really need for the trip?
DH: A backpack.
Aniki: Give her $50 so she can buy one.
DH: SS16, tell SD18 I don't know anything about buying luggage (I'm trying to not LOL). I'll give her $50 to buy something.
SS16 to SD18: He says he'll give you $50 to go buy it yourself.
SS16 to DH: She says forget it!
DH: WTH, what 18yo doesn't want $50??

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

So many "entitled" teens these days!!! Think they have to have new everything for whatever comes around! Can't go on a second trip with the same luggage that has already been used! If she won't accept the $50, then I guess she really doesn't need new luggage! Like SD15 and the issue with the belt a while back. She claimed she NEEDED a belt...claimed her pants were too big in the waist (yes, this from the muffin-top queen). She was offered a simple black leather belt that we already had, and she turned her nose up at it. That's when DH responded, "Oh, I see, you don't NEED a belt...you want a fashion statement!" Needless to say, she never did get that belt!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

The sense of entitlement makes me sick. SD18 was crabbing to DH last year that he needed to give BM more CS because SD18 needed more clothes. DH told her she needs to talk to BM about clothes - she gets CS to pay for those things.

SD18 screeched My SNEAKERS ALONE cost $80! BM can't afford that with 5 kids!!
DH: Then tell her to buy you cheaper shoes and shop at Good Will. I'm not buying you anything.

Lord, I love that man!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

You are so lucky there!! DH would just run out and buy the princess those $80 pair of sneakers himself! Why? Because BM would call him screaming and cussing! I mean, how dare he deny the princess anything!

Here the last couple of months I've managed to put an end to the bleeding. Thank you BS19 for going to college! I now have a solid excuse to give DH why the money isn't there to buy the princess whatever she wants, as I got a raise months ago that he still doesn't know about. 3/5 of the money that comes into this household I earn. Health and dental insurance for DH and the princess comes out of my check, because DH's insurance sucks. DH's income barely covers his share of the bills, and his and the princess' ESSENTIAL expenses (he has more bills than I do, because he tends to take out lines of credit for him and the princess when the money isn't there, while I've spent time investing in lowering my personal debt)! Yet, when I say no to something that the princess "needs", I get in trouble for it!

I agree with you and your DH! BM can't afford buying the princess all the fancy stuff with 5 kids, then maybe they can find alternative ways of shopping. No shame in shopping thrift stores! I have enough money to go buy things at all the expensive stores, but why spend that much on clothing? I look for thrift or consignment stores in the higher up parts of the city, and I get some really great stuff...designer label and all...for a fraction. $300 7 for all mankind jeans for $30 as just one example! Try to buy the princess' clothing from thrift or consignment, she turns her nose up. I mean, who would want to wear something that someone else wore...eww, disgusting. Hello, it is called a washing machine! Oh yeah, I think SD15 forgot what that is, considering she hasn't washed in like 3 months! I keep wondering what she does about underwear. I think she just throws them away when they are dirty, and gets BM or someone else to buy them for her, or she "lifts" them (I say the latter, because I don't know of any adult in their right mind who would buy a 15-year-old girl the lacy thongs she leaves laying around the bathroom and on her floor).

Oh, and here is another wonderful thought. Your SD is 18! Seems to me that neither BM nor DH should be buying her clothing, luggage, etc. It's called a J.O.B.!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Oh, she has a job. This is pretty much BM speaking through SD18. BM has encouraged the skids to think of DH as The Bank. Every time SD18 wants something, BM tells her to ask DH. 99% of the time, DH tells her BM has the money, it's called CS. He was going to buy her something for this trip, but since she turned down the $50, he isn't buying her squat.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Exactly! Frankly, I'm surprised she isn't knocked up yet. She's been married to the Mr. PinHead for 9 months now.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

When BM had her son, she complained to DH that he needed to raise the child support, because money was tight in their house due to having the other kid. I was like, WTH? BM and her husband should have thought about that before they had a kid! It isn't DH's responsibility to help with the new child that isn't his! At the time, DH was already paying enough support to cover 100% of SD15 NEEDS...we actually had to sit down and figure that out one day before BM and her husband were married, because at the time, BM's now husband thought he had a right to claim SD15 on HIS taxes, trying to claim that he was paying for everything for SD15. DH showed him a breakdown of SD15's NEEDS and how it totaled out to less than the child support he was paying, and pointed out at the time that they weren't even married and he had not right to claim the child. Dude was just trying to bank on some EIC so he could get that $3000 "refund". He ended up claiming SD15 anyway, but at the advise of an accountant, so did we on our taxes. The IRS did an investigation, determined that he was not the child's parent, and made him pay back the money! Was a priceless day in the long history with that household!

So, yeah....when BM asked for more child support using the new baby as an excuse, she was told off! One of the few days I was proud of DH in how he handled BM...told her, "Well, maybe you should divorce ________, take him for as much as you took me for, and then go back to living with your mom like you did with SD15 for so many years...so you can use the child support on yourself!" She didn't like that response, but she did back off. I do recall this same woman at one point try to tell DH (again while asking for more support) that he should have to pay her just because she gave birth to his spawn...that he owed her! I wanted to say, "Um...you didn't have to open your legs!"

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Pathetic, aren't they?! In our case, also predictable. The BioMonster in my life is such a bloody money grubber it makes me sick. 2 of her children (different BDs)- the BDs have never paid a cent in CS. The youngest gets a monthly stipend as her father is deceased (drank himself to death). My DH pays CS for his 2 children. BM makes THREE car payments. For some time, she kept trying to wring more money out of my DH. He always said "talk to my lawyer". She'd call her lawyer to whine and was told every time she cannot have another red cent.

The new Mr. PinHead was stupid enough to marry her. In the 5 years after she and DH split, she had 20 men move in and out of her bedroom - one stayed for as little as 2 weeks. Why this one has lasted so long, and that he actually married her, is beyond us. She was already cheating on him less than 4 months after their wedding.

weekendwidow's picture

The BM in my life needed money because she had to have a "procedure" and would be out of work and knowing that child support is ending in 6 mos, she thought she could ask DH for a handout? Because she has no $ in the bank she needed help. SHe got a SHIT load in the divorce including a large 401K payout. Where's your money pig? I really didn't think anyone could be so damned stupid. I am learning there are tons of people just like her out there! It's scary.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Yup! Biggest mistake DH made...SD15 had to stay with us a few months back in 2nd grade while BM got herself back together after her sister's death. Apparently hit her really hard. DH gave her half the child support for every month she didn't have the child! REALLY?

Aniki-Moderator's picture

BTW, saw something that struck me as quite funny...

"Oh honey. That's not a muffin top. That's a busted can of biscuits!"

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Sally, my DH is the same way. Every new shirts he's gotten in the last 4 years, I bought him.

The CO states that DH carries the skids on his medical insurance and pays a specific amount of CS. BM is responsible for ALL purchases for the skids. DH only pays additional when it is something special such as splitting the cost for a boy scout trip for SS16. SD18 asked for $500 for a prom dress ($500?!). DH told her "You have to talk to BM. The CS I pay her is to buy you these things."

SD18 is definitely her mother's daughter. She is all about money money money. BM dresses like a slut and SD18 is following in her footsteps. DH refused to have his picture taken with SD18 at her graduation unless she was wearing her robe because the dress she had on underneath was so short it barely covered her backside.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Same here. SD15 is a clone of BM. The attitude, the way she dresses (well, the way BM dressed before she gained all the weight), the way she treats people, he view on how life works (people are supposed to take care of her...not her take care of herself), etc. I seriously have this bad feeling she will not leave at 18. If she doesn't, I'll make it a point to make her life such hell she will go running out of this house...back to BM, in with roommates...anywhere but here! I'm not supporting an adult who is capable of supporting themselves!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

She's well on her way, Sally!

Too much makeup, hair dyed in very unattractive shade, too short too tight clothing, screeching like a fishwife... and SD18 wonders why she cannot keep a boyfriend. :jawdrop:

BM is 10+ years younger than I am and she looks 15 years OLDER than I do. All that partying and well over 100 sex partners must take a major toll!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

"...hair dyed in very unattractive shade..."

LOL! Yours, too? SD15 dyed her hair 3 weeks ago. It was supposed to be what she calls "Ariel Red" (like, Ariel from the Little Mermaid...she is like obsessed with this cartoon character right now). SD15 is a natural brunette! So, she BLEACHED it to strip it of her brunette color (patchy job at that, as there were still clumps of brunette right after she colored it)...says some hair came out when she did that and it scared her. Then, then she put on the red dye (another patch job, because now not only did she have patches of brunette, she had patches of bleached orange-yellow-looking crap). Now, the hair right around her face was dyed perfect...the rest...BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

SD15's hair doesn't hold color very well. So, now we are 3 weeks into this dye job, and her hair...best way to describe it is the middle shade of this pages title bar up there ^^^^^^! Yeah, it looks bad! Does not go with her eyes or skin tone at all, and still very patchy (patches of brunette are showing even more know). Of course, if you ask her, she thinks her hair still looks amazing, and flips it around all the time as if it is. Does she realize that people are laughing at her behind her back (literally, because they can see the crap job back there)?

Oh, and the too much makeup...OMG! It takes her twice as long to put on makeup as I do! 3 LAYERS of foundation-like stuff...while I just put a light brush of color correction powder on my nose and forehead to get rid if the red there, and a thin layer of mineral powder foundation...my skin looks like my skin when I'm done!. SD15...I'm sure you are old enough to remember Tammy Faye Baker, right? Yeah, she has that fake "I've got 3 layers of crap on my face" "see I'm wearing a mask" look! Then, she puts on false eyelashes, does that super thick cat eye thing, thick mascara, and then comes the "ho" red lipstick! Yeah, with that crappy ^^^^^^^ orange ^^^^^^^ hair! I admit, I wear a dark lipstick (I'm a left-over from the punk movement) and black eyeliner...with my black and dark red hair...when I wear makeup. I only put it on like once a week...she does every day. We leave the house, she still looks like she has tons more makeup on than me, and she does!

Oh, and we've had discussions about the clothing in other threads.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Good grief, mine dyed hers that SAME color and she is also a brunette! SD18's hair is now a blah peachy color. She's talking about electric blue next. Lord help my eyes. She dyes it every 3-4 weeks. I can't believe her hair hasn't fallen out yet.

You're killing me with the Tammy Faye stuff! LOL!! SD18 wears more makeup than I do, but she gets her makeup skills from BM, who thinks blue eyeshadow all the way up to her eyebrows is sexy. :sick:

My DH was VERY unhappy that BM let SD18 get a facial piercing. She was only 15 at the time but she wears that hideous lip ring like it's platinum with diamond studs.

Ha, I am also a leftover from the punk rock movement, but I gave up the black wings in my hair and all the black/dark makeup. I'm fair skin and light hair so it looks pretty crazy on me. I wear very little makeup any more and just conceal the spots and highlight my eyes. Even gave up regular lipstick for tinted lip glosses and balms.

Is yours into skull clothing? ~shudder~

Amber Miller's picture

OMG $500 for a prom dress? That's outrageous. My wedding gown was $700 and I thought that was a lot. Hell would freeze Over before I bought a teenager a $500 dress. Geez-- if she dresses like a slut I would assume the dress wouldn't have much fabric and therefore should cost less.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

$500 for a one-time wear prom dress is insane! After DH told SD18 she had to get the money from BM, SD18 ended up with a $200 dress. No way mommie dearest was going to spend $500 of "her" money.

Rags's picture

A true triumph is when the Skid busts their ass to not be like the shallow and toxic end of their gene pool. Sadly, that seems a rarity in the SParent world.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Very true, Rags. Unfortunately, SD18 seems to be more mini-BM than anything else. The Evil is strong in BM!

BM's oldest daughter (she's 21) is finally seeing what a B she is and has actually asked for my opinion several times regarding difficulties she's faced. Whenever BM is displeased with a decision that her BD21 makes, she flies off the handle and DEMANDS that the daughter do what she says. BM is currently not speaking to her BD21 because the girl had the utter GALL to marry her child's father. BM is completely unsupportive of her childrens' decisions when they conflict with what she wants.