update :(

Cookieboom's picture

I posted on the general forum but had spelling errrors and could not fix them.  Update to last post about BF getting along with DS and BM trying to break us up over the years. BM has also been telling DS that I am going to give everyone Coronavirus since I’m a nurse. 

Shortly after that post, BM told BF that he was no longer allowed to see DS.  BM stated that he will only see DS if he leaves me; as it is too risky due to me being a nurse and Coronavirus.  BF went to get DS from school and BM showed up and told him he will never see DS unless he leaves me; as it is too risky due to me being a nurse and Coronavirus.  BM attacked him and next thing I know he got arrested. 

BM now won’t allow BF to see DS (Only if he leaves me…In case you haven’t read my posts I have never met her and have no contact with DS).  She is not responding to lawyers and the pretrial is not until March due to Coronavirus.  She told mutual friends of theirs that she won’t ever let him see son because of me giving them Coronavirus.   BF is devastated. I have suggested that we break up so he can see DS, but he and therapist disagree (As she broke up a previous relationship).

She is also talking about suing me if they get Coronavirus.  I get tested once a week and have been negative each time.  I have seen other BMs post this on other boards (This meaning compliants of SM being nurses and coronavirus) and getting kudos from other posters.  I am not a SM.  I posted on another board and was chastised, I was told that I am “trying to win” and “Shouldn’t be hanging around anyone” during the pandemic. 

Also, I recently came into an inheritance and have been house hunting.  I have decided to get something for me and my kids ONLY as I cannot trust BM/DS.  I know this bothers him but I have to protect myself.  She randomly shows up at his place (Prior arrest) and I have made it VERY CLEAR that if she shows up at my door she will get dragged away in handcuffs…. Apparently DS told her who I am, where I work, where I live, what I drive, ect.  This whole time I was led to believe she knew nothing about me (BF claims he “forgot” to tell me that she knew E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G!!!!)

So this is where I am at…. 

Harry's picture

I really hope this house is in your name only.   That BF can't get it.   BF likes playing games with his ex.  He never left that relationship. The BM did not also.   He must take her to court.  And stop playing games with her.  BM is going to control SS. That is not going to stop. 
So BF must realize his relationship with his DS is doomed.  He can aspect that or he has to be BM lap dog . 
You should thing about ending this relationship. Because it's going to be hell 

simifan's picture

While I agree BF should not let BM's crazy run his life. I can't help but wonder why you stay with him. I can't imagine a man giving me enough to balance the baggage this guy is dragging. I would suggest talking to a personal therapist and doing what is best for you. 

Thumper's picture

She has no control over who HE is in a relationship with.

Sorry you are, for what ever reason, dealing with this. SHE Is nuts.

I know a BM  who would stalk her ex and show UP causing who ever HE was with to end the relationship. This went on for years and years. Every time he found someone new,,,there she was causing drama. She would also stalk her 1st ex by way of their kid causing relentless problems there. .  When she could no longer break her ex up with his new wife, she kept him in court with custody.

You should know by way of your education that your bm has mental health issues. People like this, DO.

Good Luck...


Maxwell09's picture

She's blowing smoke. She can't withhold the kids because of you being a nurse working around covid patients. Your Boyfriend needs to file contempt on bm every time he goes to an exchange and she is not there and she withhold the kid. It'll cost money and it'll drag out for forever but she's going to have to hear it from a judge to actually understand this isn't a reason to withhold a child from visitation. 

If your Bf doesn't feel the need to stand up to her legally about withholding the kids then he's allowing bm to continue to control him and that should show you how the rest of your relationship is going to go and you should leave now. 

Lets talk about how she had him arrested. If that doesn't tell him he needs to put some serious boundaries between the two of them then nothing ever will. He needs to learn how to notice when she is being high conflict and how to go grey rock method on her (don't know it? Look it up) They can't be high conflict, aggressive if he doesn't play along. Same for you too, she's only trying to drag you into this because she WANTS the conflict. The best thing you can do is avoid engaging, avoid being a target (like don't show up to exchanges since she will withhold bc of you). 


Cookieboom's picture

Thank you for your replies.  I am trying to disengage as best I can. 

BM has filed an emergency full custody.  She told judge she is afraid of BF and I and he bought it hook, line and sinker.  She told Judge that i have turned BF into a crazy man (He has been standing up to her recently).  As you know we don't live together, I never met BM and I have no contact with DS. I have NO plans on being around him or her EVER.

She also said she is "afraid" to get medical care because i work at a large hospital in the city (WTF she lives in the suburbs!!!!)  She called me an "Unstable c##t" I have been at the same hospital for years and in that timeframe she has had MANY jobs where she was fired or asked to resign. 

And yes, the house will be in MY name.