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update :(

Cookieboom's picture

Update to last post about BF getting along with DS and BM trying to break us up over the years. BM has also been telling DS that I am going to give everyone Coronavirus since I’m a nurse. 

Shortly after that post, BM told BF that he was no longer allowed to see DS.  BM stated that he will only see DS if he leaves me; as it is too risky due to me being a nurse and Coronavirus.  BF went to get DS from school and BM showed up and told him told him BM stated that he will only see DS if he leaves me; as it is too risky due to me being a nurse and Covid.  BM attacked him and next thing I know he got arrested. 

BM now won’t allow BF to see DS (Only if he leaves me…In case you haven’t read my posts I have never met her and have no contact with DS).  She is not responding to lawyers and the pretrial is not until March due to Coronavirus.  She told mutual friends of theirs that she won’t ever let him see son because of me giving them Coronavirus.   BF is divested. I have suggested that we break up so he can see DS, but he and therapist disagree (As BM broke up BF and his XGF prior to me).

She is also talking about suing me if they get Coronavirus.  I get tested once a week and have been negative each time.  I have seen other BMs post this on other boards and getting kudos from other posters.  I posted on another board and was chastised, I was told that I am “trying to win” and “Shouldn’t be hanging around anyone” during the pandemic. 

Also, I recently came into an inheritance and have been house hunting.  I have decided to get something for me and my kids ONLY as I cannot trust BM/DS.  I know this bothers him but I have to protect myself.  She randomly shows up at his place (Prior arrest) and I have made it VERY CLEAR that if she shows up at my door she will get dragged away in handcuffs…. Apparently DS told her who I am, where I work, where I live, what I drive, ect.  This whole time I was led to believe she knew nothing about me (BF claims he “forgot” to tell me that she knew E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G!!!!)

So this is where I am at….  Sad

StepUltimate's picture

Horrible situ and yes, go forward protecting yourself. Trust your gut. 

Sending hugs and much gratitude for you serving patients during a pamdemic, not to mention that PLUS a psycho BM. 

Sparkl3s's picture

Sounds horrible! Good move on getting a sanctuary for you and your kids. Highly recommend home security system and a ring or something that records voices for your doorstep. They can be set to record anytime a car drives by the house. 

If you weren't  a nurse it would be something else. It's up to your BF to put BM in her place and set expectations for his son. Good luck!

Rags's picture

Your SO needs to grow some balls and put BM in her place.  His cowtowing to this toxic POS is nauseating.  He needs to go to school, pick up his kids, and not give them back.  He is their dad and since there is apparently no CO he can take them and keep them just as BM has.  He can also, due to the pandemic, put them on remote learning format for school so that BM has no  access to them.  When she blows a gasket he can just say, see how it feels to lose your kids?

I would be all over this if I were  your SO.

Since this guy is a ball-less wonder who allows his failed family to control his life, and yours, your buying a home and moving on is exactly the right move IMHO.

Thanks for what you do, and take care of  yourself and your kids.

Good luck with all of this.

Winterglow's picture

Also, WTF hasn't he gone after her for stalking?! Until he actually DOES something about her nothing will change. What is he running instead of a brain?

tog redux's picture

I wouldn't stay in a situation like this - you have enough stress at work.  Get out until he can set some boundaries on BM and get control of the situation.

Cookieboom's picture

Thank you for your replies.  I am trying to disengage as best I can. 

BM has filed an emergency full custody.  She told judge she is afraid of BF and I and he bought it hook, line and sinker.  She told Judge that i have turned BF into a crazy man (He has been standing up to her recently).  As you know we don't live together, I never met BM and I have no contact with DS. 

She also said she is "afraid" to get medical care because i work at a large hospital in the city (WTF she lives in the suburbs!!!!)  She called me an "Unstable c##t" I have been at the same hospital for years and in that timeframe she has had MANY jobs where she was fired or asked to resign.