My 911 - BM2
I am laying here at 3:43am and have no one in my life to talk to. I wish there was a 24 hr helpline, but where do I begin??
If you care to check my past posts, you will see that I am 3rd spouse after 2 mentally unstable BMs - we are mid 50s, so been there and both have the baggage. BM1 was and still is a walking poster for Parental Alienation (that first round of his kids are mid 20s). Took us to court 2 yrs ago, we won. Too much to rehash there, but for now she is silent.
But BM2 is always there, hovering in our world like a putrid smell. I hate both BMs with every ounce of my being. BM2 learned from BM1 how to play the Parental Alienation game, but this one lives 40 mins away. It feels like she has 1 foot in our door because her presence in relation to the kids, is a constant reminder. We have those kids (age 12) every other wknd. Well we did until BM took SD against her father's wishes and pierced her fckn nose? Another post if you care to read my past vents.
One more piece to this distorted puzzle is that I gave up everything, I mean everything, to move across the country to be with my husband. He is the nicest man, he was my high school sweetheart a million yrs ago, we are great together, until his exes slither in there to sabotage. Too much to write.
So after 5 yrs of these stupid, constant bs#* games, we are seeking legal advice AGAIN on dealing with BM2 over the piercing, the moving without telling DH, telling the kids to lie, yelling things like "NONE OF YOUR FCKN BUSINESS" across the lawn, in front of the kids, etc etc x a million. We have been in counselling for the last 2 yrs to cope with her. Our counsellor advised DH to set firm boundaries, one being very minimal info, basics, in texts and emails. No salutations or asking permission, no flowery language. Just in and out.
Well here's the kick in my gut. A scene took place at pickup this wknd where the in laws were with DH, (who have a history with his psycho ex as well,) and they got out of the car in front of her house to hug SD who's piercing is not allowed at our house (kid is, nose ring no - kid refusing to take it out) - BM2 screaming at DH, the usual. He tells me what happened, and I actually side with BM2 as she did not expect to see his parents, who are extremely toxic too. (How my DH came from these people amazes me, but alas another story). Anyway, I said to DH that he should send her a quick text saying sorry for that shi#*show, he should have done pickup in a different location this time. That's it. A simple one liner to show he had bad judgement, won't do that again. Well I see the text last night and he said that, but then added "Merry Christmas to you and your family" - like wtaf??? This woman is a sworn enemy! She is ruining our marriage! We sought therapy over her! She put a visual fuk you in his daughter's nose! She has lied to the kids a million times to make him look bad, and he wishes her fckn well???
So here I am, seething. The in laws are in my house for the next month. I literally have no family or friends to escape to. I am so angry at him, he is apologizing profusely for his lack in judgement, saying he thought it would help with the kids if he was nice and wrote that! Of course she didn't and NEVER responds or reciprocates in kindness, she is HORRIBLE to him! Ps. This crazy btch hit him across the head with a barstool back in the day. So WTF? It's not even Christmas, so after she made yet another screaming scene in front of family and kids and neighbors, wht the fck, an hour later are you saying merry christmas to her??? It also is now visible proof if we go to court that doesnt seem that upset with her if hes extending good wishes to her and her family??? The family he knows thinks hes a joke!?
Please help me process? Do I leave this man, this marriage? Do I cool off somehow? Write it off? Please help me process.