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StepMomT's picture
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This is a rant/vent/virtual scream....

I am disengaging from SS. He drives me crazy and I cannot stop myself.  I don't like him.  He is a 12 year old sloth.  He is obnoxious, a know it all and "that" kid.  The kid no one likes at school, has no friends.  My DH gets it, will keep him away from me when he's here every other weekend, but can't fathom what's to come in this kids future.  He's overweight from living on video games and snacks at BMs place.  Not allowed on video games or internet here. The BM is a whole other nightmare and she is to blame. We finally drew a huge line that if he shows up here on our weekends dirty, greasy and wearing clothes that are too small, he is in the shower and wearing clothes we keep here.  He is headed for bullying in a huge way at school for 7th grade. He doesn't care. I am watching him outside, (he didn't want to go out) with the neighbor boys, they are running around and he is just standing like a defiant lump.  Arrrrgh!!! I have kept away from him all day.  I feel like a terrible stepmother, but BM has knocked any care out of me.  Like I said it's a longer story than I can write...

Swim_Mom's picture

Sorry you too have an embarrassing fat lump for a SS like I do. I am lucky in that I never see him as DH "has" him every Wednesday night and EOWE which has now changed to DH picks up his fat ass for lunch and laser tag or bowling and he never comes to our house. It's a beautiful thing. I never see him at all. In the past it was embarrassing to be seen with him in public - God forbid anyone thinks he's my kid. You are doing the right thing by disengaging. Hang out with your girl friends when the lardass POS is there. You're not alone!

MrsStepMom's picture

Mine isn't fat but same. He is such the weird kid at school it's embarassing. He tells us things he says to "friends", teachers, etc and I am like "why do you talk to people like that, why are you rude?" He says he thinks it is funny. He has horrible acne which is actually the kind that with any effort could at least be DRASTICALLY reduced but he has had the Proactive we bought him for 2 years and the seals are still on it. He is 16 and has that gross barely there teenagers facial hair and we won't shave it so it'll get all long and gross, just looks like mole hairs gone wild or something since it's so fine. His teeth are ORANGE!! They are so far beyond yellow they are ORANGE! He said he doesn't care he knows a lot of people with orange teeth. I implored him to show me ONE. He doesn't care if they all fall out he said. I told him we would not ever, his whole life, even if he was dying from it, pay for his dental problems due to this. He flat out refuses to brush his teeth. If his dad tells him to it's 20 seconds max. Dad tries to remind him while everyone is getting ready in the a.m. but since sloth is usually running late as he sleeps through hours of his alarm going off dad sometimes forgets since they are now rushing. He has literally never washed his hands. I am not even kidding. His soap has also been full for two years. He works at McDonald's too and informs me he has never washed his hands there either. Not that I eat there much unless I am on the road and dying of hunger, but I get physically ill just thinking about it. I am seriously considering informing the health department. I am constantly sick and I know it is due to him touching things after never washing his hands. I usually am not sick that often, maybe once a year when everyone else is. I was sick for 4 months straight with head colds. Ugh I just, disgusting child inside and out.

Rags's picture

Time to send a note to McD's corporate about the dangerous public health hazard working at SS's McD's location.  See how he likes his manager taking him out back and pressure washing him to disinfect him before he returns to work. 

Though he may not care about his hygiene I would bet a ton of money that he would take extreme exception to being publicly humiliated about how disgusting he is.  I would set up a meeting with his school counselor about it and bare his ass in that meeting with the counselor.  Have the same meeting with all of his teachers.  Take him to the doctor for an embarrassing examination by the doc and have the doc bare his ass about his nasty hygiene.   

When he leaves for work all nasty, unbathed, unshaven, without treating his acne and brushing his teeth call in complaints to the city about dirty nasty food service workers at his McD's.

Full court press public humiliation works wonders on teens.  They hate negative attention and the more public it is, the more they hate it.

Keep it up until he corrects his disgustingness.

Diablo

MrsStepMom's picture

We have seriously done all of that short of me wanting to report him at work. He does not care. He came home one day and said someone make fun of his teeth so he brushed them for exactly two days. He seriously thinks anyone who cares if their teeth are white or they look decent are snobs. 

Stepmommy14's picture

Why did you marry your so if you have such hateful feelings towards their child? 

StepMomT's picture

Speaking for myself, I married my SO because he is the best thing to ever happen to me (again). This is my second marriage, and he was my high school sweetheart. Besides my problem ss, we have 4 other amazing stepkids between us, and incredibly supportive families, good jobs and a beatuiful home.  Ss11 is a huge drawback,  but he only with us 4 days a month which I dread...  Disengaging is my best bet so I don't lose my shi* on the kid.  I remind myself that he is Not.My.Kid. DH totally understands. 

And his upbringing is out of my hands.  He needs to be in behaviour therapy and in programs but his bio mother refuses to "label" him and is in complete denial for treatment. Her solution is to throw him into their basement on his violent video games. That world is a shi#show. 

StepMomT's picture

Found this post of mine from earlier this yr, and thought it needed an update.  So SS was put on meds for ADHD a year ago in the summer. Helped a bit, but still not enough. He gained 30lbs! Changed meds and upped them and we have a different kid.  Cautiously optimistic for us and for him. Still lots ahead for all of us, but for now I am happy and relieved.  Fingers crossed as his sister is our nightmare right now! Take care you awesome stepparents!!!