Well the issue came out!
I had my deposition on Friday (posted about it on another post in family law section)
They kept bringing up how to HCBM it seems to her that my husband has a better relationship with my kids then his own. How she feels that when we came in the picture he put me and my kids before his. Apparently from what she says his kids feel the same way and that caused a strain in the relationship between him and the kids. Well first of all if this is true why has she never brought it up. When my husband suggested therapy she declined. He wants more time with them and she says "no, you should have them less" so that's very interesting to me.
Second, My husband doesn't treat my kids any different. However, I will say my husband DOES have a better relationship with my kids than his own. This is not from anything HE did though but rather that my kids have two parents who support each other, support each other's spouses and my kids feel no loyalty bind to love who they want to love. They call my husband their second dad. They hug him and tells him they love him when they leave to go to their dad's house right in front of their dad and dad fully supports this and is thrilled to have another adult around who loves our children. My husband's kids on the other hand have a bitter, petty jealous mother who doesn't support our family and makes no secret of how much she hates our guts so OBVIOUSLY the relationship is going to be different. She will not hear it! She's convinced he loves my kids more and she has made their kids believe this. Has anyone else dealt with this?