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Talk with DH about SS17

oatsnhoney's picture

DH: I have a meeting tomorrow with BM and SS and the therapist. 

(therapist is a joke. we spoke to an awesome child therapist who's a friend of ours, she agrees this Dr is no good. But SS likes him so BM keeps him. Although SS has not gotten better at all.)

ME: what is the purpose of that meeting?

DH: I don't know

DH: I dont think we should bring up the plan, with consequences, until BM and I talk. 

ME: are you talking to the therapist alone?

DH: I don't know

ME: you should request it, you need a lit of inpatient programs in case SS does not stick to the behavior contract (the idea put out by our therapist friend). 

DH: yeah

ME: you need to be prepared to follow through, because he won't be able to stick to the contract. 

DH: yeah

ME: he's 18 in few months, you have a very limited amount of time to insist, and admit him to places as his legal guardian

DH: *crickets*

ME: how many of the places I sent you have you called?

DH: non of them take insurance that's the problem

ME: oh so you called?

DH: no I know

ME: are you sure? Why not call and find out for sure?

DH: when did you sent that to me?

ME: before Christmas

This has been our life. Some crap goes down. He talks to me about it. I find all these resources, he likes them, then does nothing. BM does nothing. Time passes. Crisis is ignored and left untreated. Over and over, each crisis worse and worse. Both DH and BM had almost 2 weeks off. Plenty of time to work on this. And this is why I am disengaged until I feel the need to step in briefly (like I did by emailing the list). But also why I'm standing my ground on banning SS17 from my home until he's on a healthy path. Therapist Friend agreed with me. Therapist Friend also happens to be related to DH through marriage and he REALLY looks up to her. So last night I told him, she agrees with me on DS btw. DH replied: yea. And that was it.