DH is a big disappointment VENT WARNING
Read my other entries to catch up. Basically BPD suicidal ideation, pot smoking, failure to launch SS17 is banned from my home since he had a screaming fit in front of my 5yo.
Told DH when he’s back on meds, going back to school and on a healthy path we can reevaluate. He agreed at the time. But every visitation since he tries to guilt trip me into caving. Saying he feels bad doing this to SS and not helping him. Meanwhile DH himself has taken no steps to learn about Drs, programs, books nothing.. I even emailed him good places which he didn’t reply or comment on.
This weekend he called to ask if SS can come to dinner, I said no, we fought. So he came home with just younger SS. I am getting silent treatment ever since.
i am pissed! I told DH in Nov that I could fly to my family so he didn’t have this ban issue over the holiday and he said he didn’t want me to go. I said I just don’t want this to keep coming up through my holiday. So let’s decide now. We did. DH forgot. And has been pushing SS on me every step of the way. FU&( YOU DH! Rhys is YOUR fault not mine. FU for ruining Christmas. FH you fit being a shitty husband and father. I hate being a SM because of YOU. Your ostrich approach to anything stressful just makes crap lignite. I don’t care how much you sulk I KNOW I am right.
I will not make this mistake again. Next time I will choose my family over you. What the H:$’ to do add to my life anyway? No intimacy because you don’t want more kids so are forcing that upon me, you just stare at your phone every night. You are just a crappy husband period. If we did not have a bio, we would not be together. You speak to your kids with auto jerk tone. You bark at them. You are lazy. You just want them to watch tv or their phones so you can do nothing.
i am opposite completely. I am a positive tone preacher. I do activities and try make a happy home for my kid. I play on the floor, read books and do bath time. You didn’t get up ONCE in the middle of the night when DS was a baby. He had a terrible flu and you left to go in a trip with guys.
The reason you are so stressed? Maybe because you know you SUCK!!
I felt ALL of this (as far as
I felt ALL of this (as far as DH is concerned. SS is as awesome as a 10 year old can be). I’m sooo fed up and resentful with all of the drama that his past decisions bring into our marriage. I love him, but I’m not sure I would still be here if it wasn’t for DD. She’s his saving grace right now. I’m willing to try way harder for her sake.
I feel your pain. I know the struggle. Do what’s best for you and YOUR child. Hugs for you!
I think you left SS's name in
I think you left SS's name in there in the middle, unless it's just a typo.
This sounds like an awful marriage. No intimacy because he doesn't want more kids? That's an excuse, in this day and age. Don't stay just because you have a child with him. I can't imagine my DH not actively seeking help for his kid if he acted like your SS does.
Growing up in a home with a
Growing up in a home with a disengaged father and a mother whose anger and resentment are bubbling close to the surface may be no better for your bio than being a COD. I hope for everyone's sake that your H gets a wakeup call and becomes a better husband and father.
This was so much me with my husband’s
believe me he has come a long way. He’s glued to his phone day and night (habit due to his senior position at his company and being on call 24/7), i called bullshit on all his excuses for not doing bath time for our toddlers aged almost 3 & 1.5. I called bullshit on all the dumbass excuses why ss20 emotionally abuses us, his excuses on how stressed he is from imaginary stress syndrome everytime hubby brings up he needs to be mannered, polite, respectful (pretty much a decent human being) and do chore.
i also told hubby that as his wife and life partner, he knows weekends and public holidays are quality times for family, 3 kids with ex ignore him and only contact him for favours and to remind him to pay them money.
yes even the sd22 who finished her degree and had a job lectured her dad on responsibilities of paying child support to her so she and her mum can maintain expenses of sd13 (hubby pays whats stipulated as fair 50% of basic costs), bio mum refused to work snd come up with her share, rich exhubby daddy bank is there so try guilting the kids to guilt daddy for money.
when hubby would arrange visits behind my back and then surprise guilt me day before that he’s visiting his kids from ex do i wanna come, thats him ordering me which he never saw as that. Believe me we had a harsh talk and i told him we often have higher priority things, kids check up at hospital with paediatrician, vaccinations etc but he’s instant notice available for sk but for our bios excuse is busy at work.
i have no respect for the sk and hubby knows it. So when i said no to visits, respect it 100% not try asking me over and over in the hopes i give in. He needs to respect it
the way i addressed this was ask him “do you love and respect me as your wife?”
when he answered yes, i said that hurts and was a massive slap in my face.
then I reiterated why i didn’t want to visit his sk or be forced to since they make no effort for us and treat us as invisible and we waste a whole day out just tense. Then i stated the facts that despite this hubby kept asking if i wanted to go visit his kids, brought it up during hubby/wife intimate time which is very disrespectful because these are unimportant things that should not be brought up. He learnt real quick and realised his actions
you need to force your husband into that state of reflecting on his actions and ask why despite all this , he still pushes you about sk, whats the purpose of pushing, forcing or convinving you to give in is saying you do not matter, you are unimportant
i told my husband that his kids with ex never dictate how we spend time as a family, they do not dictate any matters regarding how my kids are raised and what they can or cannot do. Sd22 felt she could do what she wanted. She has a bit of the mini wife syndrome that she forces on hubby wihout him realising it. He’s gotten much better though