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According to DH, I'm not interested in kids.

isthisforme123's picture

DH: You talk all the time about the bios you want us to have.
Me: yeah
DH: But you seem wholly uninterested in kids.
Me: how so?
DH: well you weren't very enthusiastic on Saturday when we had 14 kids at the house.
(4 Skids invited friends over without DH asking me, and I needed to work so did not come home until late)
Me: do I seem uninterested in my Dd16? (Who was not there)
DH: no
Me: so really you mean I'm uninterested in other people's kids
DH: (long pause) yeah I guess

Me: how I am with my DD is best predictor of how I'll be with our future bios. How I am with your kids is a good predictor of how I'd be with any future stepkids.
DH: *crickets*

So mad bc I feel like DH is trying to use my (relative) lack of interest in his kids and strangers kids as an excuse not to have bios. For the record, I am not an earth mother type. That said, I think I am a darn good mom to my DD. But no, I don't always enjoy a small army of other people's kids at my house. DH, he loves it. But he's also a "one big family" kind of guy.


isthisforme123's picture

Some days I enjoy their company, other days not so much, LOL. They aren't bad kids, actually they are very good, but they have no rules at our house, leave messes everywhere etc. And 14! You can imagine what the house looked like when I came home. I cleaned up after myself but left everything else for him. I'm evil I guess }:)

isthisforme123's picture

Yes, this. I told him, "we have been married for three months. Give it time. Sometimes I feel maternal toward them, sometimes I feel like I have four strangers kids in my house."
I don't think I will ever love them like I love my DD, but maybe in time I will feel an auntly sort of love for them.
He claims to draw no line between my DD and his own four, but I don't buy it.

hismineandours's picture

Frankly I cant stand kids. Sorry. I like my own kids. I tolerate their friends-some I like more than others.

I'm not sure what our dh's find difficult about this. Unfortunately, my ss15 truly has no soul so my dh DOES understand why I'm not a fan. It used to be much harder for him though before he, himself, realized the kid had no soul.

farting_glitter's picture

hmmm, DHs' spawn doesn't seem to have a soul either...maybe your SS15 and my DHs' spawn are twins separted by 8 years?.... Wink

hismineandours's picture

Well, there is hope then. Perhaps one day your dh will see the skid as the soulless creature that he is.

kellyrae1's picture

I feel the same way, I'm not a fan of other peoples kids. However, sometimes they make me realize how good my own step kids are.....or how bad my step kids are. Wink