You are here

So you KNOW you are rewarding bad behavior?!

TheWicked's picture

Back story: DH and decided 12 was the age of getting your own cell phone.
SS10 has now destroyed 3 tablets(all DH's) and 2 phones(1 DH's and 1 belonging to SS18)

SS12 dropped a brand new $700 phone into the pool after being told NOT to take it. SS12 also not only used the entire family's data in 1 day he almost tripled it until DH caught him.

Due to move we have to change cell phone provider. Which means all new phones and paying off that useless $700 pool phone.

DH: I think when we switch we should add SS12 to phone plan

Me: what do you mean? His own phone?

DH: Weeeelllll SS12 sometimes refuses to let SS10 talk to the BM on his phone.

Me: I see. I thought no cells until 12. The twins(11) do not have phones.

DH: Yeah....thing is twins are much better behaved. They respect the house rules about calling and BD and BS share with them. SS10 is kind of left hanging and feels left out.

Me: So because my bios follow the rules and are nice to each other SS10 needs a phone to feel special?

DH: *crickets*

Me: How much have you paid in the last six months for busted electronics? Where is the money coming from for more data and another line? And what happened to us making choices like no cells until 12 together?

DH: I guess I didn't think it through. Its just that SS12 feels left out.

Me: Well. Perhaps if he learned he is no longer a baby that needs to be coddled he would feel better instead of being the victim because no one wants to be around him! (Yes, that was harsh ladies)

DH: Well that is true. I guess he can have my tablet to play on.

Me: (silent fury)

Comments

IamexhaustedSM's picture

WTF??? SS feels left out because he wants everyone to love him, coddle him, baby him, and give him everything he wants no matter how he acts, what he breaks, and no matter who he disrespects. If he feels left out maybe your DH should go and tell him to start acting like a decent respectful kid and he will stop feeling left out. People leave him out and do not want to be around him because he is probably an ass just like my SS is. He probably has the gimme, gimme, gimme, FU, NOW gimme, attitude.

omgstop's picture

This is EXACTLY the same thing I have been working on with dh, he's beginning to see the light and has been disciplining Hodor (ss) accordingly. For a long while there though, he was just giving in with this kid...osd too...she CONSTANTLY LOSES AND BREAKS electronics then wonders why no one wants to buy her anything like that. The number of chargers this girl has gone through in less than a year is INSANE.

Voldemort perpetuates the entitled GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMME attitude; when the iPhone 5s came out, she got one for ss who was 8 at the time, (9 and a half now). We were all like WTF.

What makes it even better is that he is a BEAST when he doesn't get his way and rather than just admit that it's due to sub-par parenting, Voldemort insists that he has some sort of a condition...when she tried to suggest that he is on the Autism spectrum then tried to say he has Aspberger's I almost slapped her because dh18 has Aspberger's. Dh has made peace with his past shitty parenting and is working to correct it, Voldemort is the Lady of Enlightenment and Perfection so she has nothing to own up to, naturally.

I feel your pain!

TheWicked's picture

Ugh! WTH do all these BMs think some sort of medical issue absolves the skids from any sort of responsibility? OK IF there is an underlying issue they still need to work on being descent human beings! My exSIL works as a special need aide at a high school. The kids she works with still have rules and are held to standards that are tailored to what they can accomplish.

omgstop's picture

EXACTLY. The Bm's just want to chalk their ineptitude and skids shitty behavior up to some issue or condition so they can continue on with their lives, free from actual parenting and free from judgement. HA!

lac925's picture

I-m so happy THIS!!!

SS13 has ADHD and she uses that as an excuse for everything...Other than academics (although I think that if he applied himself, he'd do really well), he's your normal run of the mill teenager. But she holds him back - for example, she put him in Special Olympics, running against kids in WHEELCHAIRS FFS!

It's a wonder he even graduated grade 8!