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Sorry no discount!

ETexasMom's picture

So MSD (who previously only wanted daddy around and uninvited me and my kids to family Christmas because I'm not family) is now pregnant and sending me ideas on stuff I can make for the new grandchild. I crochet and have for 20+ years. When YSGD was born OSD picked out a very hard dress with lots of ruffles that she wanted for pictures. I made the dress, hat, and diaper cover to go with it. Took over two months. At the shower she acted unexcited and threw the white dress on the floor under the table after opening it. I'm sure it was for BM and family's benefit. She did wear the dress for pictures.

Anyway today MSD sends me a message asking how much I charge for the huge elephant pillows. They are hard and take alot of yarn! I sell them for $75 plus a month order time because of how long they take. I asked if it was for her or someone else. She said she wanted it for a shower present for a friend. I told her the price and the wait time. She wasn't as interested in that! Then starts asking if I found the pattern for another thing she wants me to make for her baby. So I explained I had but haven't really looked at the pattern yet because I have to finish crochet and shirt orders I have.

Really!!!! Two months ago she wouldn't talk to me and acted like a jerk at DH's birthday party. And has spent the last two years telling DH I couldn't come to any "family" parties. No way in hell I'm putting aside paying customers to jump on presents for her!!! Already went this route with OSD and her kids. I know my work won't be appreciated!

ETexasMom's picture

I sell on Etsy and Facebook. I'll PM you the link. I don't have the dress I made her listed because it took so long and honestly I would have charged $100+ to do it!

ETexasMom's picture

I have! It's been 10 years of the same cycle. They are sweet and nice for a little bit then back to the exorcist! I'm riding this out till they hate me again. DH supports me and thank God in the last year has opened his eyes to how his kids act! I've removed myself from the merry go round I will be nice and pleasant but not go out of my way for them.

sandye21's picture

I am a portrait artist, and I do them for a lot less than most of the artists out there. And I've had the same experience. After the way my SD has treated me, it would be one cold day in hell that I would give her a discount or take time out from other commissions for her.

This is the same SD that uninvited you to a family event? That would be rally something to think about. This situation is NOT about mutual respect. You don't owe her anything. Your work and your dignity are worth more than this.

You say you charge $75 for what you do - that's really cheap for something that takes you 2 months. If you really want to do it for her to give to a friend, charge her what you would charge anyone else and tell her it will be done when you are finished with all of your other customers. Considering the way your other SD threw your work under the coffee table, I'd add on a few more bucks and a few more months.

notasm3's picture

I crochet myself. I made baby blankets for all of my friend's babies and grandbabies. I've also done some embroidered (hand not machine) quilts.

When SS32's GF had their baby just before Christmas I went to Kmart (Walmart was too upscale for them in my book) and bought some Christmas baby crap at 1/2 off price. I think I spend $15 and 15 minutes. That was what I was willing to spent time and money wise on those two. The baby sure didn't care.

Tuff Noogies's picture

if she were to request something, i would not turn down an opportunity to increase my income. she would be handled just the same as any other client/customer. if she balks at that idea, i would tell her in no uncertain terms "none of my customers get things for free." if she refers to you doing it as a family favor, or expecting it since you did so for osd, i would simply remind her that you were informed, by her, that you and yours are not family to them, as per her own wishes. you've got enough family of your own to make gifts for, and enough paying customers, that you are too just swamped.

momjeans's picture

As a fellow crocheter, I'd set my prices incredibly high for her. Hopefully, that alone will discourage her from even asking.

Friends and family do this all the time to me. They'll post photos of things on my Facebook with "These are so cute and I bet you could easily make these. I'll pay you for it!"

Damn straight you will pay me. If, that's a huge "IF", I choose to set aside time to do it.

The thought of turning people's requests down used to majorly bother me, now I don't care. Time and yarn is money. BIG money.

SacrificialLamb's picture

Do not give anyone a "friends and family" discount that does not consider you a friend or family.

Maxwell09's picture

Maybe it's because DH put me in a bad mood but after reading this, if I were you I would say: "oh for your friend I would charge her 75$ plus it will take me a month + shipping. But for you 0$ because I told myself I'd never make you another thing after you threw grandbabys dress on the ground and snubbed your nose at me for the last few years.

Acratopotes's picture

every one already said it - she gets Wallmart stuff....

Now my question is - why is she not blocked from contacting you Blum 3