Suddenly I'm grandma again?!?
So after the last year being told the SDs only want it to be "dad, our spouses, and kids" at things like Christmas get together, father's day, and Dh's birthday suddenly I'm grandma again??? OSD has gotten smart enough to realize if you invite DH and not me he doesn't bring presents. I crochet all the stuff the kids want like the fancy hats, blankets, and extensive dresses (I've crocheted over 20 years). Well OSD didn't invite me to SGS's birthday in august so I didn't make anything or buy presents for him. By Christmas DH was tired of their behavior so he didn't even go to their Christmas dinner so no presents for them!
Flash forward to now and DH hasn't seen kids since Thanksgiving. OSD has gotten smarter and sent me a Facebook to invite to YSGD's birthday party. I declined because I am no longer interested in engaging with them. She's called DH and he told her "we" would be going. SS called a few days later and he told him that "I'm coming SM is not". I'm guessing that got back to OSD because she is now kissing up to me on Facebook. This morning she started posting old pictures of this huge beautiful dress I made YSGD as a going home and to take pictures in. She wrote "Her coming home outfit. Grandma did a great job!" and tagged me in it. Little does she know it pisses me off to see this dress now! She asked me to make it so I bought the pattern spent 3 months making it and gave it too her at her shower. Since BM's family and SIL was there when she opened it she acted unimpressed and threw it under a table on the dirty floor after opening it. I have never made a huge project she requested after that.
I am not surprised that once I start disengaging and removing myself from their life MSD started trying to kiss up. I used to spend alot of money on her kids and she treated me like crap! They honestly expected me to keep making things and spending money for events I wasn't invited too :jawdrop:
I don't know how Facebook
I don't know how Facebook works now since I've been off for years now but I would untag myself immediately or change a setting so that she couldn't tag me in something unless I approved which I wouldn't.
I changed my setting this
I changed my setting this morning! I though about untagging myself but if I do that makes me the bad guy and they can whine to DH. I'm ignoring them at the moment!
I did not go the party. I got
I did not go the party. I got off the merry go round. They will no doubt freak out! Afterall who will they treat crappy if I'm not there to exclude and sneer at????
They wanted you gone so I'd
They wanted you gone so I'd let them have their wish and stay gone. They don't deserve you. Grandma when it's convenient or beneficial is not a Grandma. Put the entire bunch on permanent ignore.
Your story, ETexasMom,
Your story, ETexasMom, reminds me of the sweater I knitted for my husband's 2 year old granddaughter. My 33 year old SD hasn't accepted me since the moment I met her. She was the only one at our wedding (including our other 5 adult kids) that wasn't happy for us. Even so, I am the one who buys the gifts for her now 2 1/2 year old daughter. I have been in the picture since before she was born, but I'm treated like the outsider.
Last winter, I spent a couple of months making a beautiful hand knit sweater and hat for my step granddaughter. We gave it to her on Easter. My SD looked at it, said it was cute, put it back in the gift bag and tossed it up the stairs. She didn't show anyone else at the brunch the sweater. My husband asked her a couple of times shortly after to send us a picture of her in the sweater. She never did. She's probably never worn it. Things like this make me not want to do anything else nice for her.
They only want SM's as
They only want SM's as grandma when it suits them - for babysitting or gifts. Not fair or right to treat people that way.
My SD told my DH he could find another woman who would be an even better grandma than me - this was when she was trying so hard to turn DH against me and break us up.
My DH told me this and I said well maybe I could find a better husband! Anyway - now that I am out of her life and her kids lives she acts like the big victim and her poor kids.... being rejected that way. What a bunch of BS - she created this mess.
A few years ago at our summer home she wouldn't let the kids outside to see me - I was sitting on the front porch and I could hear through the open window that the kids wanted to go see grandma. She said no to them - that they couldn't go outside. I waited for over an hour to see if she would let them come out and she didn't.
Of course she denies this incident but it happened and I remember it very well. I gave up on trying to have a relationship with her kids after that.
Sad situation for the kids really since they don't understand what happened.