When is enough, enough?
My husband and I have been together for 10 yrs, married for just over 7 yrs. My husband had a "fling" ( fling btw is my nice way of saying one night stand with a known bar whore) with a chic that use to hang out in the bar he owned at the time. We started dating not to long after said "fling", he regretted it right away. Later after we had been dating for some time, he heard a rumor she was pg, later after the boy was born, her bf found out it was not his. By this time my husband and I had been together happily for over a yr. When she came to him and asked for a DNA test, my hubby did the right thing. The child was his. We adjusted and my hubby being the man he is took responsibility right away. After a long period of time passed that my husband was only allowed to see his son, at the Bm's home, while she was there. This of coarse became an issue. After my pushing my husband hired and attorney, and gained joint/split custody. Things got better for a little while, until our wedding. Once we got married things got insanely crazy again with her. I started to receive text messages from her after we decided to take a family vacation to FLA, I believe it was the fact that we where taking SS with us. These text had no reference to the child, just about how she planned on ruining our family trip, and of coarse the favor it she likes to use, how my husband is cheating on me with her ( which I know us untrue). She also began texting him, telling him how they should be together as a family and raise there son. During just a few day period of time she sent myself and my hubby more then 200 crazy text. We ended going on our vacation with the children including my SS, and had a lovely time, only to return home to more drama from her. This is just the tip of the crazy iceberg. She attends no school functions for her child, never packs or sends a lunch, never follows through the mandatory volunteer time ( we send the kids to private school) never attends field trips, and never sends the child with materials needed for school. When he doesn't have something he needs for school, school calls me, as she doesn't answer their phone calls or return messages from teachers or school staff. I'm always the one who has to drop what I'm doing and take something to school, do the volunteer time, go on school trips, work lunches, etc..I'm also the only one who does school project with him such as science fair, market day events etc..but yet she walks around as if she is mother of the year. And reminds me at every given chance how SHE IS HIS MOTHER. I buy all his school uniforms (for both households ) I buy all school supplies. None of which we are legally responsible for buying. Now comes the newest issue, being school is out for summer, the exchange for SS is no longer pick up from school, she made a set time of pick up for 1pm, for all of us. We pick up at 1pm on our days, and she is to pick up at 1pm on hers. She chose this time as she was laid off, we reminded her that she would return to work in a couple of weeks and she might want to consider that in the time of pick up..nope she was good with 1pm for all summer long, she "handled" we have always been exactly on time to pick up no matter where she sends us to pick up, always seems to be a different location. My daughter 16 was in a serious car accident and was seriously injured, she is in a wheel chair, and bed bound and will be for several months, so bc of the pick up time for SS being 1pm, we schedule all doctors and other appts around that time, she knows this. And now she is never on time. I wait, I text, I remind her she chose the time, nothing matters to her. So this week I refused to cancel an appt with the specialist and told her according to FOC, we where only required to wait 20 mins past the set pick up time. So at 1:20 pm I left my home with all the children including my SS. I received over 40 messages from her letting me know I had no right to deny her her time. According to FOC they forfeit their time if they can't pick up on time. So I enforced this. My husband while at work at a high stress job got over 60 messages bashing me. I'm a stay at home home/housewife my family is my world. My husband are true happy, and I care for my SS as I do my own. But nothing I do seems to earn me any respect or even common decency with her. She has repeatedly tried to break up my marriage, we don't let her shanaagans affect our marriage, I'm smarter then that. But I do feel beaten by her. I'm tired of always having to be the better person, I'm tired of always having to stuck it up, I'm tired of hearing her spew her nonsense, I'm and I'm tired of every time she doesn't get her way, how my hubby is cheating with her!! When is enough, enough? How much as a step mother, mother and wife must I tolerate. After her not showing up again on time for pick, I feel like she will never change and grow up. I feel like this is what I'm looking at until my SS turns 18, and honestly I'm not sure if emotionally I can keep myself together that long. We have turned her in to police for destroying propriety during one of her summer pick ups ( ran over decorative trees that line our drive) she was charged and had to repay, but that doesn't stop her. The following week when she pulled in at a high rate of speed she almost hit one of our dogs, when she drove out she spun her tires throwing rocks all over the kids playing in the side yard. When she does pick up on time she lays on the horn about a half mile down the road, and doesn't stop until the child gets in her car. My husband has the mind set that if you ignore her she will stop, he very rarely responds to ANY of her text, and when he does have to respond it's usually one word answers. I've asked him to stick up for me and our family but he says, what's the point, he says he doesn't want any contact with her, and is not about to get into a text war with her. He's afraid to truly let her have it, bc he doesn't want to end up back in court as that is also one of her threats. Am I to just continue putting up with all this from her? Is this my life for the next 9 yrs as well? Does anyone out there have any advice? So frustrated and emotionally drained.