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Need information for a friend.

steplifesux's picture

My very good friend who has a 13 yr old son, received a compliant from the child's bio dad ( through f.o.c)
The complaint stated he has not seen his son in 3 yrs, she won't let him, and he pays support.
That is word for word how he wrote the complaint and filed it with the court. Only
Partl of that is true. It has not been 3 years that he's seen his son, it's been near 4, he's and addict and when he brought the child home after a visit, bio dad was under the influence, child smelled strongly of weed, and was very upset about where he stayed, ( at bio dads friends house, and slept on a couch in a yucky basement ) so the mom called bio dad and told him to not come back to get son again until he got his act together, off drugs, had a permanent place to live, a drivers license and no open warrants for his arrest, etc..
She has not heard from him since December of 2012.. Now all of a sudden he wants to see the child, and is claiming sons been withheld. No complaints have been filed with the court until now.. She's freaking out.
She can't meet with her attorney until next week, I was hoping maybe some of you, could offer some advice that I maybe able to give to her. Will this guy be able to just drop back in a uproot this child ?
Their original court order is all she has, she never went to court to change it since he wasn't coming around. It gives him joint custody as far visitation goes. ( which he never utilized that since 2007) he was only getting 2 over nights a month since 2007. But agian the original order had never been changed. Bio dad still doesn't have his own place, still has no licsence, and still has warrants for arrest ( in a different county), and is claiming he's been off drugs for a month.
Thank you in advice !

steplifesux's picture

Thank you,
I do actually know the bd though I havent seen him since he stopped coming around to see the child, and he is bad news. This child is also a special needs child, and my god son. My heart breaks for them both ( child and mom) she has gone through so much to look out for her son, and he's doing well now, just worried this will cause set backs and emotional turmoil with him. His mental capacity is not that of his numeric age, he has moderate autism, and isn't able to process things like this.

Rags's picture

Tell your friend not to overly sweat it. She did not deny vistiaton, she told him to get his shit together. He has not attempted to exercise his CO'd visitation for more than 3 years. He has court ordered visitation rights for two overnights a month which he has not attempted to take for more than 36mos. She needs to file a child abandonment motion petititioning to end his parental rights completely. His parental rights but not his financial responsibility.

Undoubtedly BioDad has not peen paying CS so she also needs to nail his ass for every penny of back CS she has a right to and to get his CS jacked up as high as it can possibly go since apparently there has been no CS mod since 2007. When she files the dissolution of his parental rights motion she also needs to file a CS review motion. Either way she comes out ahead. She ends the possibility of this POS entering her childs life after an extended absence, or he owes her a ton of money, or both.

She is gonna own his toxic loser POS drug addict ass.

IMHO of course.

Good luck to her.

steplifesux's picture

No, he never showed up after she told him on the phone to not come back until he got his act together, I was actually present when she made that phone call. She was direct and told him if he didnt like it, then he could get a lawyer and take her to court.. He never did.
I think the reason he didn't show back up, was bc he knew she knew about him not having a drivers licsence, the open warrants, and the obvious drug abuse. She had told him on that phone call, that if he attempted to come and pick up the child she wouldn't hesitate to call the local sheriff and have his ass arrested ( at that time he also had a open arrest warrant in the county she lives in) I'm pretty sure he knew she wasnt bluffing. I guess he could of went and filed a complaint then but never did.

steplifesux's picture

She's not worried about the whole " she won't let him see the kid" part of the complaint. That's going to be her word against his.
And being he never did actually show up to get denied a visit, the truth is on her side. What she's freaking about, is she is scared to death the court will make her let him see the child again. For most kids that would be hard on, and this is a special needs child that requires gentle handling. She's so worried this will cause emotional turmoil and being severely autistic he his unable to verbalize his feelings or process things they way most kids/people are able to do.
In the 3plus years this idiot has been out of his life, he's come along way. His "meltdowns" and seizures are almost non existent. Where he would have one every time upon returning home from a visit with this idiot. Everyone believes it was the lack of routine and the unstableness from being with the dad that caused so much mental stress on this boy. I wasn't sure at the time, but I've seen with my own eyes the difference in him since he's not gone with dad. There has been great improvement.

still learning's picture

Your friend needs to deal with the fact that the father will be able to see his child again even if it's only supervised visitation at first. Having autism is no reason for a parent to withhold visits.

mannin's picture

All of the advice on here is probably well intended, however, your friend needs a lawyer. Every case is different and what worked for someone else may not play out for your friend.