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Things are about to climax...and not in a good way!

QTsmum's picture

It's time to buckle up.  Shit is going to get real.  

 

The piece of crap bio-mom may have hit rock bottom; or is about to.  She moved in with her old ass piece of man meat who is literally a grandfather (she's maybe 30).  He moved her in to his cottage about an hour away, in the winter.  She met him when she lived with DH's mother this past october.  (yes, you read that right!  Boundary issues much!). He was the neighbour.  I saw this all coming.  It's a cycle of whoring around to get bills paid, and then getting ditched because she's a legit fucking psycho.  Whoring is a lot easier than getting a job, I guess.  She was actually a nurse in the baby unit once upon a time.  Got fired for getting caught on a website soliciting prostitution.  She's classy.  Child services has been investigating her for over a year.  The worker is useless.  It's been frustrating.  I have a friend who works there and she let me in on the fact that this worker is too busy having an affair with another worker to do his job.  This town is a real treat.  

So I guess grandpa boyfriend kicked her out.  She must have messaged DH's mom to try to move in again and she said no (FINALLY! We told her we would have absolutely nothing to do with her as long as she remained involved with toxic BM).  Aparently she's in a women's shelter (that ironically, our business did a fundraiser for this past fall.  Ugh.  Can I get some takesies backsies on that cash, please?!).  DH has gone to try to file an urgent motion for full time custody.  His kid can't be living in a fucking homeless shelter.  He asked her straight up if she was there (she told his mother) and she's just not answering the question and demanding SS's birth certificate.  I'm sure she's weaved quite the tale for them.  She's ALWAYS the victim.

I'm almost sure the motion will go through.  No judge in their right mind is going to let him stay there when he has a bed and a roof and real food on his plate at our house.  I am not pumped about it though.   We've had a lot of life hit us in the face the last 2 weeks.  This really could not be at a worse time.  

When she loses custody (but mostly the money for being shared custody), she's going to lose her shit.  DH told me that when I go home, to lock the door and do not answer it.  So that's fun.  

I really just want to live my life with this guy.  I love him to pieces.  We are so great together.  We are working our asses off to try to give our kids an awesome future.   It's so frustrating that our life and future is so fucked because of his really shitty choice to spawn with that piece of trash.   I can't believe the work she puts into being a piece of garbage.  Just get a fucking JOB.  I'm so done.  I'm so maxed out.  And I know it's just getting started.  

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

WOW! What a shitstorm! Disgusting literal Biowhore! Arm yourself In case bioWHORE turns violent.

Soon, even Grandpa aged old f*ckers won’t find her appealing or worthwhile.

shamds's picture

Etc. 

But your husband is doing the right thing, any sane responsible parent is not gonna let a minor child love in a shelter because bio.mum is a whore who shouldn’t have had kids by the sounds of it or should have ever been given primary custody in the first place.

if it ends up ss does come to live with you, there needs to be ground rules about civility, basic respect and expectations and hubby is responsible for enforcing this so home can be a harmonious environment. 

There may be initially resentment and aggression from skid but he hasn’t had a responsible mum to begin with so there is that initial detox and reconditioning stage. Just take it 1 step at a time

QTsmum's picture

So apparently child services and the court say that the shelter is a safe place and that it was a good parenting decision for her to have made.  How fucked is that?  

DH has an appointment with another lawyer tomorrow, but it'll likely be the same advice.   If that was a dad, I highly doubt he would have been given so many chances.  I cannot believe that with the stack of info they have, they are shrugging their shoulders and telling DH that it's his standards of living (IE: his kid not living in a homeless shelter) that are the problem.  What the actual fuck?!  

Oh and it's shared 50/50 custody, which she should not even have.  She should not be allowed to have overnight visits at all with what CAS has on her.  I'm just so dumbfounded.  

Siemprematahari's picture

I'm not sure how its done in Canada but if BM is in a shelter with the child is there a program where they can find housing for them both, that she can afford and possibly maintain? I know when there are kids involved, qualifying for programs like that is easier. Maybe this situation although not the best now can be a blessing in disguise if it motivates her to get her sh!t together.

QTsmum's picture

She's been on welfare (which has. housing assistance, but I don't know anything about it) and supposed to be in various programs for her CAS investigation.  She just doesn't do it and she seems to find ways around having to complete them.  If she doesn't complete the CAS courses within 45 days, they're supposed to court order them and if she fails to comply again, they are supposed to deem her unfit and remove the child.   Well she wasn't doing them and got warned.  Then she moved an hour away and because she was "unable to get to the course", that's okay.  Which is BS because she drove with her sugar daddy into town to dro pthe kid off to school every day, eevry other week.  Now that she made the good choice to move back in town, her time can start again.  It's mental.  

I would like to think she would help herself at some point, but I will say, I have never seen a single person have more hands out to help than her.  She has had all teh help in the world, but focuses her energy on how to not get a job.  It's insanity.  But then it's everyone's fault that she's living the way she is.  I'm sure it's DH's mom's fault that she's in the shelter.  Or her grandpa boyfriend, or mine.  

I don't think that these people can ever actually change.  The victim mentality is the most destructive thing I've ever seen and if I catch a whiff of it on someone, I fucking RUN.

 

tog redux's picture

Yeah, I was going to say, don't count on this being the thing that changes custody. Shelters aren't big open rooms with lots of people sleeping in them, they probably have their own separate room and it's not necessarily unsafe. They get meals.

I get that your BM is batshit crazy, but the court can't change custody based on being in a shelter temporarily.  

QTsmum's picture

Does anyone know (Canada law) if psycho doesn't tell him where she will be housing their kid next week, if he can do anything?  I understand that the shelter is considered a safe place, so by law that is fine, but she told his mom that she was going to that shelter and will not tell him.  She has asked for the original copy of his birth certificate (likely so she can try to scam something.  She had copies and lost them, and lost their original and I was the one that ordered new ones...she's not getting shit!).  He asked her 2 times where she will be with their kid next week and she won't answer.  Only asking for the birth cert.  

Rags's picture

Stick to not giving her copies of anything. She can get copies for herself.  

Is there an ageny that DH can keep informed of BM jeopardizing the wellbeing of his children?

Good luck with all of this.

No doubt it is upsetting.