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Skids at your labor and delivery?

MyNest2012's picture

What do you guys think? Or what is your experience with this?

I don't mean DH wants SD6 in the room with us during the actual labor and delivery, but I think he would like her to at least be available to see the baby once it's born and the dramatic stuff is over. He wants her to come into the hospital room and hold the baby when the rest of the family would typically come in to take pictures and see the newborn. He does not want her to have to wait until her visit at her mom's is over to see her new sibling.

But...I can foresee BM being a bitch about this if I happen to delivery during her week. It won't be as simple as just getting her from BM when the time comes. Ideally I'd like my MIL to be able to get SD from BM and then MIL can be SD's support person. I'm just thinking the logistics of this thing is going to be a disaster. I hope I delivery during our week!

How has this gone for others? Thanks!

(I thought I posted this someplace else but I couldn't find it)

20 plus's picture

My skids were vacationing with my mom when I delivered. No one saw dd for a week. I was fine with that.

BM had a bunch of kids and I took the skids to see her / them right after each was born. I really don't think the skids cared either way. Not in a rude way, they were 9-11 for BM and 13-15 for my Dd

step off already's picture

I will be delivering this summer also and hope that SS13 is at his mother's during the time I deliver. I DO NOT want to deal with him, his jealousy, his need for attention, etc during the day DH and I welcome our baby girl into the world.

MyNest2012's picture

Thanks for your comments! I just don't want it to be this super big dramatic thing that turns into everyone worried about SD and BM. Not that I want to be selfish, but it is my first baby and I really don't want to be going through contractions while DH texts BM. I would break his phone.

SummerMomma719's picture

I feel like I'm reading something I would have written. I'm having my first baby due August 1st. My sd is not thrilled N has an attitude anytime anything baby related is brought up. She never talks to us or seems happy when she is with us and I just can't stand when she is around. I'm afraid if I deliver the weekend she is with BM that BM will show up at the hospital. Idk what I would do. Either way I'd rather her wait to see the baby until I am home. I want this time with my DH. He's already been there of course but I haven't. And I want to be able to enjoy this time and experience alone with him. With out SD around. It just reminds me of his past

myspoonistoobig's picture

I'm going to go with no. It's hard enough to relax WITHOUT stepkids there. I had a babysitter for my daughter and I was giving birth in my own house.

Leave the kids out of it, don't want to chance them freaking out at your distress.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Ignore that.... I just now went back and read the whole thing.

But I'd still err on the side of no. I don't even think I would have wanted my parents in the house. Just the midwives and people I needed there to host, feed me and the team etc.

Even with just that it's a hell of a party.

MyNest2012's picture

I agree myspoonistoobig. If labor does happen during our week we're having my MIL watch her at our house until it's over.

But if labor falls during BM's time then DH has already said he's getting SD whether BM likes it or not-which is going to create a fight with BM, and I just don't think a fight would be worth it.

christinen's picture

I don't have any kids with DH yet, but I can tell you I have thought about this and I do NOT want my SD5 around when I have a baby. She is a spoiled, attention-seeking brat and I hardly have the patience for her on a normal day, I sure as hell won't want to deal with her after giving birth. Not only that, but I want my DH to be focusing on me and the baby, not on the skid. If you do let her there, I would make sure you have someone else to care for her like you mentioned your MIL. You need DH to yourself that day (and for several days after).

Craving Normality's picture

I had the baby on the Friday by C-Section (planned). SO collected all his 3 kids for visitation weekend and brought them up to see the baby on Saturday. I was happy with that because it meant their weekend visit happened whilst I was in hospital. We are an EOWE situtation and this worked really well for me. I didn't need to see them again for a fortnight, gave me a chance to recover.

Craving Normality's picture

Hey Shook, thanks. I didn't write this clearly enough though, I should have mentioned lil craving was born 2 years ago on a Friday. But thanks heaps for the congrats.

Una's picture

I am nearly four months pregnant and I don't want SD12 anywhere near the hospital. Just the thought of knowing we will have for a day fills me with dread and stress, so no, at the hospital I just want it to be me and OH. I have told him that near the end of my pregnancy I just want him and my mother, if she can fly over for a few weeks, around, no-one else, not even his parents. He agrees, at the moment, but I'm sure nearer the time he will change his mind as people start to insist that they would like to be there.

I would prefer if SD12 didn't come to the house to see baby until I am settled and feel ready, not sure how long that will take as this is our first, but we will see.

SMof2Girls's picture

If DH can work it out with BM for SD to see the baby the day or two after birth, then fine. If he can't, she will see him during DH's visitation time. Either way, I would let DH handle this completely. There's no reason you should be stressing out about this. And I would make your expectations VERY clear to DH!

Good luck!

msg1986's picture

I love SS4 but I'm glad that my baby is due December 10th because the hospital I'll be delivering at doesn't allow children in the hospital during flu season. Like I said I love my SS4 but this time is about bonding with the new baby. SS can meet his new sibling once we come home from hospital.

MyNest2012's picture

I agree with this too, and if I have the baby on our week then it will still suck having my MIL and SD at the house. My MIL will be sleeping on the couch and SD will be her usual hyper attention seeking self I'm sure. Not that SD is a bad kid, but she is spoiled by everyone so I can see where a new baby is going to drive her crazy.