Info that needs to be shared?
OK. Since it seems to be an on-going issue, I'm going to ask.
DH is primary, and has the kids during the week; he is responsible for taking care of all school issues, any and all appointments (it's been back and forth, as BM says he has no right, to dumping all of those appointment in his lap for him to handle) for doctors, dentists, and all extra-curriculars.
Dh normally lets her know what homework/projects are in progress so that work could be finished over the weekend, not that it ever is, but he still lets her know. When he goes to appointments, he follows up delivering the information so that she can't say he's keeping things from him (as she has accused him of doing before, and therefore yank his "right" to be involved). He has tried to follow up at the end of the week with one email giving her all the information.
Since there are multiple kids, and multiple assignments, and multiple appointments, sometimes(heaven forbid) something gets lost in translation. So my question is this--the kids talk to both of them, she has access to the school website/email of teachers as well as the doctors. She delays in communicating, is condescending in her communication, and is less than pleasant in person/on the phone (yes, I've overheard, she's just that loud.) If she's going to complain that 1 out of 25 things is forgotten/misinterpreted/delayed in delivery, am I wrong to be at the point of saying, "figure it out yourself?"
DH would say she is not. I
DH would say she is not. I say she is. I guess I am a woman, so I know how women can be bitchy without being outright bitchy.
Most communication is email, and they have a parenting coordinator/GAL involved with their "issues". There's no way to track the email, unfortunately. Even with email communication, she denies being told things that were very clearly spelt out for her. It's always something that DH "failed" to follow through/tell her/communicate effectively. BM won't go for Our Family Wizard, since she's 'too poor' even though she makes more than DH and has the kids less time. If he pushed for it, I bet she'd hire an attorney to avoid it.
DH tries to give her the benefit of the doubt, makes sure she's "in the know," but I doubt if it's worth it. I'd guess if he doesn't, she will be pissy too. I'm just tired of being damned if it's done and damned if we don't. Guess we will find out.
I don't believe CPs should
I don't believe CPs should have to spoon feed info to the NCP. All they should do is provide them with names of schools/ doctors/sports teams...and contact numbers. The rest is up to the NCP to figure out.
I don't think it's ur DH's
I don't think it's ur DH's job to keep her informed. If she wants to know, she can call the school. I'd give her #s to the doctors/dentists/etc & let her handle it. But if your DH doesn't mind, let him keep dealing with her. Just tell him to keep her drama away from you.
She has it all. But she tells
She has it all. But she tells DH he 'needs to let her know.' Not that it matters. She doesn't deal with anything. She doesn't do anything with the information, unless she doesn't hear something. THen she acts like he specifically left out information so that she "would look like she doesn't care" <---her words, word for word
Nope. That's never happened.
Nope. That's never happened. I don't feel like it's worth saying "hey. there's a project due next week. We did x and y, but z still needs to happen." and then nothing happens. The kid doesn't even open their bookbag the entire time they are there.
I'm just so tired of trying to cover everything so that we can't be blamed. It's a pain. But I'm just wondering how much backlash there will be when DH doesn't communicate every little thing. Then what?
I agree entirely with this
I agree entirely with this thinking.
It is not the problem to have to babysit because a parent to share information. Its *MY OPINION* you share information the same way you would if you were parenting under the same roof. Besides, many professional will not release info under privacy acts.
Thats said My opinion comes from a CP-BM who withholds EVERYTHING, doctors, school, activities, and even though court ordered to share EVERYTHING, still does not. In the hands of a HCParent the consept of "do it yourself" isn't reasonable, especially where LD is concerned (where the NCP can't just walk in to the school/doctor and talk)
I feel that parents should
I feel that parents should communicate to one another about the things you outline.
Except in your case. Once the information is not being utilized, and/or you are just getting bitchy responses and conflict in response, then don't do it anymore and let her figure it out.
Yes, they are. The one skid
Yes, they are. The one skid is quite capable and there's very little communication of work that needs to be done. The skid cares about her grades, and is doing everything she can to do well in school.
The other skid is all over the place with ADHD and a few other issues that affect school. This is the child that needs the follow up, and can't literally find something that's staring her in the face, as she's just that unfocused(and this is on medication). We have come a long way with her, but her standard answer is "I forgot."
BM was to graciously allow us (read me) to keep skid this past weekend so we (read me) could do the work, and she could go get her hair done. We, according to BM, were 'absolutely ridiculously selfish" in declining the offer. No school work gets done if we don't make it a priority. I've taken a step back, and I have refused to be more concerned than the BPs.