Significant Change in Circumstance?
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That's what the statue says is needed to be able to go for a custody modification, but what does that mean? DH and BM are supposed to have 50/50 custody and all bills are to be split 50/50. Neither happens, and really hasn't happened in years. We've been documenting, of course, but is our documentation enough to PROVE that we've had the kids more like 70/30? We have medical/dental/school/EC's receipts and bank records to show that we've paid 85-90% of the the total.
So, if you were to go to court (we'd prefer not to, but we know it's the only way to make if official), what would you take with you? How would you approach BM with the subject? How much would you be willing to spend to update the plan with the actuality vs. what is COed?
In my experience,
In my experience, "significant change in circumstances" tended to relate to promotions/lay-offs regarding child support. A minimum of 10% change in income level, but the courts in our state encourage you to wait until there is a "significant" difference from the last CO. (ie: court order for CS was signed when BM made $ 40K and now 5 years later she makes $ 150K and pays no medical ...)
It sounds as if the major "angle" for a re-evaluation of court order is based upon more sleep-overs at your house and money for incidentals. If it has been longer than 2 years since the last time DH was in court, he may want to consider it. In my state, there are on-line forms which do not require lawyers which you may file to request a custody modification/child support modification.
In general, I think that you should send BM an itemized list of all expenses which by CO were 50:50 ... "receipts available upon request." Save that power punch. Present BM with a bill. Registered mail, return receipt requested, deadline of 14 days for response in writing. (Allowing for a notarized payment plan might be nice.) Perhaps DH did not send copies of those bills to BM with an expectation/demand for payment. (I know. I know. But unless it's in writing, it doesn't exist.)
Once you do this, small claims court is easily accessible and an economical option for DH. I'd try to skip Family Court unless trying for full-custody, etc. Doubtful. If it's money you want, go the other route.
Good luck
DH has primary and he was
DH has primary and he was told the only way BM could take him back to court was if there was "a change in circumstances" such as moving away from family/friends or out of an already established community and school district; If there is a financial change like if BM got fired; another would be if there was constant instability in a parent household that effects the kid such as boyfriends in and out, additional kids or roommates. Basically anything that would disrupt the normal everyday life of the child.
But all that being given by our lawyer, BM has done almost every single one of those things and our lawyer advised us not to pursue any change until SS3 starts kindergarten.