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SD and pregnancy announcement

christinen's picture

How do you guys feel about including skids in your pregnancy announcement? I am 7 weeks pregnant and plan to announce it in a few more weeks. My friend is a photographer and she had a really cute idea to have DH and me holding the ultrasound picture and then have our dog standing in front of us with a sign around his neck that says “I’m going to be a big brother” or something along those lines. I LOVE the idea but I know MIL and SIL will be like why didn’t you include SD? My feeling is SD isn’t my child so I don’t really want her to be in my pregnancy announcement. I’m not purposely excluding her from anything, but I don’t feel like she has a place or need to be in the announcement.

christinen's picture

He doesn't care. He's not really into that kind of stuff (typical male lol). He said whatever I decide is fine.

unluckytwin's picture

If you don't feel like she has a place and your DH is fine with it, screw those other people. It's y'all's announcement, not theirs. Don't do anything you don't want to do--you don't want to look back at those pics with resentment.

Rags's picture

Discretion being the better part of valor... you may want to include SD.  If you are including the dog and not the SKid that leads to a whole lot of questions, judgement, and though DH may not care now... it could come back to bite you in the ass later if he eventually takes exception to it.

Like it or not... SD is  your STB child's big sister.

Were I you... I would do both.  Do the SD inclusive pic and send it to DH's family and to the dog pic and sent that or both pics to  your friends and family. Or better yet.... keep the announcement pic to just you and DH and avoid the drama.

Congratulations on the baby.   Have fun and don't sweat the details. Enjoy the ride.

christinen's picture

And I don't get why you keep taking time to reply with your smart ass comments. Here's an idea, stay off my posts if you don't like me or what I have to say.

Shaman29's picture

Thank you very much Sueu2. Smile I snorted so hard reading your response that water went up my nose.

Disneyfan's picture

Has SD moved back to her mom's or is she still with you full-time? If she's there full-time, not including her seems mean and hurtful.

Are you willing to do two photos? You could give your inlaws the photo with SD, and use the one without her for your family and friends.

Oh, Congratulations!!!

christinen's picture

Yes she is still with us full time. Idk I just never even thought to include her in it until a friend said to me today you know dh's mom and sis will have something to say about it.

Willow2010's picture

If you leave off the dog, you won't be seen as excluding skid. This is an easy one
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

THIS!

Disneyfan's picture

Excluding SD may cause your inlaws to cling to SD and distance themselves from your child.

Merrywey's picture

You don't blink at the dog but have to ask about a human? You are right she is not yours but she is your husband's and will be a half subling to your child. In the announcement photo or not, that will not change. Keep to you and the baby's father. The dog won't ever be your baby's sibling.

unluckytwin's picture

If this photographer works like most others, OP will do a ton of poses that day. I imagine the dog set-up is just one of a dozen. Keep the dog for that, and give DH's parents one of the poses without the dog, just OP and DH. Solved.

christinen's picture

Yeah I am fine with that, using our dog was just an idea the photographer had. I can see how that could be taken the wrong way. I think I will just have it be dh and me. Thanks!

twopines's picture

I can't imagine why on earth I'd include a skid in my pregnancy announcement. For me, one has nothing to do with the other.

luchay's picture

I think the problem is having the dog in the pic saying something about being the big brother, that is kinda excluding the skid.

If it were a more standard announcement then no drama leave them out if you wish, but you can't say something like ^ and leave out the REAL sibling. And you couldn't include your bios's and leave out the skids. It's just not right.

IMHO

Shaman29's picture

It's the passive aggressive move of calling the dog the big brother and excluding the skid.

And the OP is blaming the idea on the photographer. Classy.

oneoffour's picture

Was SD there for the conception and play an active part? No. Was the dog there and play an active part? Oh God I hope not! So stop being passive aggressive and just let your picture be of you and your DH. Why not just post a picture of the sonogram with a FedEx label that says "Delivery in 7 months".

One thing to remember is that one day your child may need an organ and the only donor may be SD. If you exclude her for most of her life do you really think she will pony up with a kidney?

still learning's picture

"post a picture of the sonogram with a FedEx label that says "Delivery in 7 months"

Love that idea! To the point and no one will get their fee fees hurt.  Yes it is good to include SD in baby's life and make sure to plant the seeds now about donating a kidney to her baby sibling. "Eat your kidney beans SD because one day you may need to donate a kidney to baby sibling." 

christinen's picture

Thanks to everyone who replied! I think I am just going to keep the picture of me and dh. I am not that attached to having our dog in the pic, it was just an idea the photographer had that I thought was cute.

And to sueu2- for god sake, get a life.

another step's picture

I also am seriously uncool. I think the gender reveal parties are....odd. Would anyone really want to eat a cake with that much food coloring in it? Some of the pictures I have seen of them are practically Technicolor! And I am not a major health nut or anything - it just seems unappetizing and certain to turn your mouth blue or bright pink for the next few days. To me it is a very strange new fad.

Calypso1977's picture

while your husband "might not care" he will when he gets backlash from others. most will SURELY view this as you excluding your SD.

I am no fan of my SD and i wouldnt want her in the pic either. But i wouldnt put my pet in it and snub her either. Then again, i wouldnt do something as cheesy and corny as a pregnancy announcement pic to begin with....

Disneyfan's picture

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

still learning's picture

If you don't want SD who is an actual half sibling in the pic don't include the adopted fur brother from another species either.  There are hundreds of cheesy ways to announce your pregnancy without excluding or offending anyone.  Opening the oven to reveal a bun, giving the grandparents grandma and grandpa mugs, cutting a pink or blue cake... the ideas go on forever but so will the hurt feelings if you blatently exclude SD.  

pixielady's picture

include SS9 in my first Christmas card for DS14months.  I sent generic cards to inlaws and the others to my family and friends. I would have gotten crap about it but  Ds is my first baby and he deserves to have some things that are just for him. Including skids in everything having to do w their half siblings, especially if they’re eow or long distance is impractical.

ndc's picture

That was thoughtful (and smart) of you to send the generic card to the inlaws.  There's no point rubbing their noses in the exclusion of the SS - best to eliminate drama.

pixielady's picture

Yes he was excluded from my baby’s first Christmas card. It was just a pic of baby. There’s no reason for ss to be on that particular card. If we do family Christmas cards for future ones, he will be on it. Thanks for the sarcasm.

wildstang's picture

Just curious.  Times have changed.  But why the need for a production about announcing your pregnancy?  This is really not a big thing, people have been doing it since the beginning of time.  Why not just tell a friend when you are with them.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Personally I think the dog one is adorable! (but I also love dogs... lol) So you should do that for one pose! But see if you can get one with the skid too. She's there fulltime, so your bio and the skid are going to be raised together, and they will be half siblings. So ttwo pictures, maybe one with just skid and one with the dog. 

But all-in -all, don't worry about what others say, they're your announcements! Congratulations!!!

(Also, the skids call my furbaby and DH's furbaby their siblings, so we have that menatility too. They're part of the family!)

Bunny2's picture

I know she isn't YOURS, but she is HIS. Do you expect him to give her up? Love her less than your shared baby? Feel that since she's only the half-sister she isn't your child 's sibling? Do you feel competitive with her, that he's supposed to love her less because you are in the picture? 

 

And, no, i am not "attacking" you-- I am honestly curious here. Because I see SO much " I hate that his kids exist even though they aren't objectively bad" on here and other websites, and I just want to UNDERSTAND. 

For point of reference: When I was 9, my father remarried without TELLING me. His new wife's daughter was IN the wedding. He picked me up for a visit five days later. He had MOVED into their house. Sold his. Again, not even a phone call. 

I tried, but I was always made to feel very unwelcome at "their" house. But it was somehow still MY fault. Even at 9, I was expected to continue making ALL non-reciprocated effort, but because I wasn't '"enough ",  it was still all on ME, the child. 

ldvilen's picture

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