Well this turned into a rant
I don't put a bunch on FB but I moved pretty far away from my friends and family and I post things for these people whom I don't see often. I've been posting monthly albums of my baby daughter's first year. Most people reply normal thing but then I get something like this:
"Cute pictures I can't wait to see SD and her in a pumpkin patch"
There is always someone that asks about SD or has to mention her. I actually stopped tagging my husband in these posts because it would attract more comments about the absence of SD. There's a small set of people that make these comments and it's almost like they take turns doing it. SD is not my kid, we barely see her, I don't know when we'll see her next... Just let me enjoy MY daughter!!! Maybe I don't need everyone I went to HS and college with knowing I have a SD and subtlety implying I'm excluding her.
I'm going to announce my pregnancy with a picture of my daughter and a board that says "I'm getting a little sister!" And I know I will get some greif about how SD isn't in the announcement. Well maybe I don't want to wait for SD to grace us with her presence to have her in a pic to announce my pregnancy. And maybe I don't want all my special moments and pictures to have her in them. What if I end up leaving DH one day? All those pics of my daughter would feel tainted if SD had to be in them!
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I didn't have SS12 in any
I didn't have SS12 in any maternity or newborn photos for either of my kids. He's long distance, aggressive and poisoned by BM. Why would I want him in photos with my kids? They are half-siblings and in our situation little more than distant relatives. DH totally understood and was fine with it.
My husband understands though
My husband understands though early on he had hopes it wouldn't be like this. He had plans for us to do Christmas pictures in matching outfits but SD couldnt bear the thought of being away from BM from Thanksgiving until after new years. Then she came to collect her presents. After that he knew not to wait for her for things like that anymore.
Do what’s best for you.
No matter what you do SD will find fault with you. So disengage from her. It's up to her to be part of her new family
Do what you want. At first i
Do what you want. At first i thought everything would be kumbayah(sp?) and togetherness but sometimes things happen and if you feel forced to do things you don't want to do, you are more likely to build resentment and then when something else happens, you don't react as well as you would if you were the one wanting to have made the effort in the first place. I think it's ok to take a break from people who stress you out and go for polite distance for a while. That includes SD and the commenters. Do what you have to to protect your mental health and you will likely be more pleasant to everyone in your life.
You could always comment back
You could always comment back that SD doesn't come around much and let those know the truth instead of getting annoyed. You can do it in a matter of fact way and if they escalate it , unfriend them. Yes there's some drama with this but either you roll your eyes at them or set them straight. Truth is if your house had a better relationship with SD, she'd be in some of your pictures. Why hide from the truth? (Politics might be getting me ).
Your Fakebook account
Your Fakebook account therefore your choice what you post...as for the trolls I would politely let them know that DH has photos of HIS daughter on his page if they would like to troll on over there. Let your DH post photos of all his daughters on his page and you post photos of your kids on your page. If you have no relationship with her why pretend just to make other people feel better.
I would simply have a
I would simply have a standard reply to those comments like "wish she was here more." Repeat, repeat, repeat. Maybe they will get it.
I don't have a single picture
I don't have a single picture that has SD in it on my social media. I say it's for privacy and avoiding a potential conflict with BM, but really its because I want one area of my life to be for just my actual family, or at the least me and my kids.
I don't get these people. SD
I don't get these people. SD is not your daughter, why should you have to post anything about her on Facebook? That would be DH's job.
Frankly, it's rude, block them from seeing what you post.
Oh I know that feeling. My In
Oh I know that feeling. My In-laws were the worst with that. We had an extremely high conflict BM that was angry when we included SD too much and BM felt like she wasn't #1 and angry when we did things on our own with our DDs because she wasn't being included and they all made sure to voice it whenever they felt like it. Thankful Facebook wasn't a thing back then or I would have been in OPs shoes.
DH got me a mother's ring and MIL wanted to know why SD wasn't on it. I told her she's would be on her own BM ring and BM would flip out anyway. But really. Why do people insist on raining on people's parade ? I didn't want SD on my ring and my DH knew that. She was the most annoying child and the most annoying adult. I have zero bond with her. She's always been BMs little minion. This was a continuous theme all through my DDs childhood. We always had an appropriate answer back but some people like to stir the pot.
Also helps if BM pulls the woe is me crap that SD feels left out while actively making sure she's #1 parent and that the SM is "put in her place " as a nobody to SD. She had in-laws ear. They hated her when DH was married to her but decided to get along for SDs sake after the divorce. They truthfully loved the drama and were nosy. We now how no relationship with any of them for years.
I used to answer BM when she would say you're not SD mom. Remember that. I would say Yes im aware. I have 2 daughters of my own. I don't need to try to take over yours. Her response was always what are you saying ? My daughter isn't good enough.? Seriously eye rolled whenever this argument would come up. LOL
Just post your pics and don't share with the ones who are looking to start crap. Because they're really just trying to take a jab at you