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Telling skid about pregnancy

christinen's picture

I just recently found out that after a year and a half of trying, I am finally pregnant! This baby will be my first and DH's second (he has SD6). We have already told our parents but agreed we aren't going to tell anyone else at least until after our first ultrasound (about 3 weeks away - I am only about 6 weeks right now).

Anyway, I am wondering when and how to tell SD. She says she wants a little brother or sister (she already has 2 on her mom's side but DH has full custody so she doesn't see them that often). Should we tell her soon, wait until after the ultrasound, or wait even longer than that? She has a BIG mouth so if we tell her, we might as well announce it to everyone.

Please share your experiences! Thanks Smile

christinen's picture

Thank you so much! I haven't had much nausea or anything yet so I have been lucky so far! Just been a little tired. I want to wait until after the first trimester to tell SD because that is when I will feel more comfortable about everyone knowing.. somewhere around 12-14 weeks like you did. I hope SD will be happy and excited and not turn into a jealous little monster lol! Thank you for sharing your story with me!

Glenda's picture

CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!! Good for you!!! God bless you and your child.

Thank you for sharing.

MEL1297's picture

Congratulations!!!! I remember you posting about TTC so congrats that you are now pregnant! I recommend at least waiting until the 12 week scan/beginning of 2nd trimester. We showed skids the 12 wk scan and said do you know what this is?? Smile Smile

christinen's picture

Thank you!! It was definitely a long time coming Smile

We are beyond excited!

Right now I am definitely feeling like I want to wait until after the first trimester to tell SD. Just hope DH will keep quiet until then!

Maxwell09's picture

Congratulations!!! Welcome to the 2015 Preggers club, I'm due in June with my first and DHs second. It's very exciting

As for when you should tell her...well can't help you, BM told SS3 for us. Not that it mattered because he's 3 and isn't going to understand until Baby gets here. BM reproduced last year so all he knows is babies poop and cry and that HE is a big boy who doesn't do those things. Haha. But I would suggest telling her before letting anyone else do it. And make her being a big sister a big deal could only help I think.

JustAgirl42's picture

Submitted by christinen on Fri, 09/24/2010 - 1:58pm.
"Point is, I can't stand kids"

Wow, I guess a lot has changed in the last few years.

So things with your SD have worked out and are better?

JustAgirl42's picture

Right, I'm just curious as to how one goes from never wanting kids to trying really hard for so long to have one. Maybe the situation with her SD improved so much that her feelings toward children completely changed? That would be nice to hear, since the last time the situation was discussed, she wanted the three year old out of her house (and a lot of us feel that way at times about skids).

JustAgirl42's picture

Ok, I'd still be interested in how things worked out with the SD, since so many here have problems with them and may benefit from some advice.

christinen's picture

SD has gotten a lot better since she has gotten older, but she had absolutely nothing to do with our decision to have our own baby.

christinen's picture

Lol, exactly. No, I do not care for other people's children. That has nothing to do with wanting (or not wanting) your own biological child.

Justustwo's picture

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

When DH and I discovered we were expecting we waited until we had told all of the important people.. in laws, close friends etc. When it had started to become common knowledge DH told SD6, knowing that she would go home and tell BM - she was definitely not the first person we wanted to share our exciting news with.

Good luck!

christinen's picture

That's exactly it, I know she will go and tell BM. Not that we are hiding it from her, but I am just still really early and I would hate for her to have the satisfaction (yes she's evil like that) of hearing that (god forbid) something happen.

Rags's picture

"Kid, we are pregnant. You are going to have either a little brother or a little sister."

Pretty simple. If the GPs know, then I think the elder sib can know.

IMHO of course.

Congratulations on the baby.

Have fun and take care of yourself.

JustAgirl42's picture

Submitted by christinen on Fri, 09/24/2010 - 2:05pm.
"You're right, I can't stand kids, & no I don't want any."

Seriously, I'm totally curious as to what has happened in the last few years for you to have had a complete change in attitude about kids?

JustAgirl42's picture

Snippets...did you read the whole blog? I think the fact that the SD is still in the picture is a very good thing, and a lot of people come here for advice on how to handle difficult situations with their skids. It would be great to hear how things worked out for the better.

JustAgirl42's picture

Yes, I remember her username and discussion about her SD very well, which is why I looked back at her last blog to see if there were any more recent updates.

I was hoping to hear some positive things about how everything worked out with her situation.

My bad.

MissElphaba's picture

I agree with the above posters... I don't think it's fair to make that kind of comment 4+ years later. People change and she deserves supportive responses right now. Having difficulty trying to conceive is just terribly heart breaking.

JustAgirl42's picture

What kind of comment?? I said nothing negative about her being pregnant. If she's happy about it, I think that's great. I know how difficult it is to go through fertility issues.

AGAIN, I'm just interested to know how the situation turned out positive.

This is not a debate FGS.

christinen's picture

Why are you so worried about it? If you really must know, I was young and fresh out of college then. Now I am almost 30 and married. Big difference.

JustAgirl42's picture

Not worried, just interested in how you were able to turn things around to make life better with your SD.

But never mind if you don't want to share.

Congratulations anyway.

christinen's picture

Ok, thank you! Nothing significant has really happened with my SD, she just has grown up a lot. When DH and I first started dating she was only 1 and now she is almost 7. She's getting more independent and that has allowed DH and I to have couple time and not have the entire world revolve around SD. She has made some friends in the neighborhood so she isn't constantly up DH's butt anymore. It's been nice.

JustAgirl42's picture

I was wondering if maybe her getting into preschool and kindergarten may have helped. Being around other kids seemed to really help things with my SD.

christinen's picture

Well for those who offered their congratulations and nice words and advice, I thank you very much! The year and a half it took us to get here was extremely hard but I am beyond happy and excited that this day is finally here! Smile