You are here

Great. A lot of good that did.

bi's picture

I unfollowed SD22 on fb. She messaged me the other day some stuff about my brother's whore gf who is living in the same apt bldg. she is, and asked if i have a cell. I gave her my number and she texted me. I find it much more convenient to type on a keyboard than to text, so I knew she wanted my number and not just for that particular conversation. And yesterday she showed me why. Yesterday was her ultrasound, the one where she finds out boy or girl. (It will be a girl because SD gets what SD wants). So she texted me all the specifics, the weight, the heart rate, no cleft lip, no down's syndrome, bla bla bla.

Wonderful. This is exactly why I unfollowed her. Being a mother is her ONLY identity. It's as if she wasn't a person before having a child, and I do wonder what she is going to do with herself when her kids are grown. If they have kids right off the bat like she and her brother did, she'll probably immediately throw herself into the grandmother role, because I'm not even kidding when I say she seems to only be able to talk about pregnancy and babies, and it has been this way since she started trying for the first kid. I get sick of hearing "my belly", "pregnancy", "I'm a mommy", "my babies", bla bla bla. A lot of good that did. She's just gonna text me everything to make sure I know since I don't ever comment on her posts, so she knows I may not have seen it.

She said she'll let me know the gender today after the gender reveal party. (People are so fucking narcissistic. Gender reveal party? Really? Am I just old and out of today's ways? I think a baby shower is enough. For kids beyond the first, why not just tell people? That's what I did. I didn't think I needed a whole damn party over it. SMH). Yipee! I can't wait to hear about how it's a girl and she's gonna do this and that and dress her in this and that and her little princess bla bla bla.

FML. Why did she have to ask for my damn number?


hereiam's picture

When people ask for my cell#, I tell them it won't do them any good as I rarely have it turned on (which is true).

My SD not only does not know my cell#, she does not even know DH's.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I just got my hair cut and have to go plan my 'new do' reveal party.

bi's picture

hahaha! yeah, I want a party to reveal what color my underwear are! so stupid. if I hadn't given her my number, it would have just caused more problems, without a doubt. I knew damn well why she was really asking for it. it sure didn't take her long to prove me right!

Today is her birthday. Last year, I got her a card and a gift card. She thanked FDH for it and he got the credit on fb, of course. She never so much as posts an insincere "happy birthday" on fb to DD19 or me, she missed her dad's bday last year, which is only 3 weeks after hers, she ignored DS6's bday this year, so I didn't do anything for her bday this year. I'm not sure, but I think FDH forgot. He may have texted her, but I doubt it. I know he didn't get her a card or anything. Oh well. If she can't be bothered to so much as say happy bday to any of us, I can't be bothered to spend my time and energy worrying about hers.

zerostepdrama's picture

Block her number from your phone....

And OSD did a gender reveal party. Even though baby #1 isnt even a year old and baby #2 is due in October. Thankfully we live states away and dont have to deal with that shit. And thankfully OSD hates me, so I dont have to worry about her ever talking to me. LOL.

bi's picture

we are a 1 vehicle family and that vehicle is going to the shop in the morning, so we aren't going. she lives a good distance away, so we can't just catch a ride with someone else, either. besides that, she's having this gender reveal/bday party TODAY, during the week. :? FDH works 3rd shift, so that wouldn't have worked out for him anyway. Not sad or sorry to be missing all the "fun". }:)

I didn't do gender reveal parties. I hadn't even heard of them until a few months ago, but still would not have done it. I did a Surprise, It's a Baby! kind of thing. we didn't even tell anyone I was pregnant. FDH told his parents and SD about a month before DS14mos was born. A lot of people didn't even know until I had him. That's what happens when people want to treat me like shit and stress me out when I'm pregnant. You just don't get to know the next time around!

another step's picture

Gender reveal parties almost always revolve around a cake to do the actual reveal. Normally I will use any excuse to blow my diet and scarf up some cake but even I can't get behind this ridiculous trend. Nope. Not even for cake....

hereiam's picture

But you'll come to my 'new do' party and see my haircut, right? There will most definitely be cake.

bi's picture

did you dye your hair, too? You'll have to dye it and wear a handkerchief on it, and the inside of the cake can be your new color! (fudge for black, milk chocolate for brown, yellow for blonde, red velvet for red, and marble if you only did highlights!)

zerostepdrama's picture

So is the cake on top of your head hiding your new do and when we cut into the cake we get to see your hair style? Wink

bi's picture

I'm only 36, I don't consider myself to be old yet, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm mistaken. I just think everything is blown so far out of proportion anymore. Every single thing does not need to be a celebration and party. To me, it reeks of narcissism. I'm wondering if this is a way to get gifts out of children that aren't the first, since having multiple baby showers is generally taboo. I don't know. I just know that I have never felt the need for everything to revolve around me, so all this MY DAY shit is weird and rude to me.

princessmofo's picture

Not only do I agree with you that it is narcissism but I also think it reeks of insecurity. She has to be constantly validated, like those nutjobs that post every detail of their freaking life on FB.

I'm glad I'm not so damn needy. Hey bi, I just walked out to the mailbox and then I took the dog for a walk. Let's have a party to celebrate that my legs work and the dog took a dump that I cleaned up with a plastic bag. We could call it a poop and scoop party. SMH.

bi's picture

I love you guys! You make me realize that I'm not abnormal for not doing these kinds of things myself and that my POV is not just mine! I feel that some things are intimate and private and not everything SHOULD be shared. baby gender, sure. but a party to do it? Totally unnecessary. I think broadcasting everything cheapens it. There are some memories and moments that I want to be shared only between me and my child(ren), or FDH and me, whoever and me.

oh, here's another good one. this one really blew me away. a few weeks ago before I unfollowed her, SD posted that it was 2 years ago on that day that she and dh found out they were "expecting a beautiful, bouncing baby BOY!!!!!" What in the actual fuck? Now you are posting about the 2 year anniversary of your ultrasound? Are you fucking kidding me? the kid is a year and a half, I do not understand that post, nor do I understand why she repeatedly reposts pictures of herself when she was pregnant with him. and most of the pictures are only of her belly. :?

bi's picture

I wondered the same thing. If she has a girl, I bet for sure she will have another baby shower because her first is a boy. She will be getting diapers and wipes from us when the baby is born, and I will not be attending a baby shower at all.

hereiam's picture

does anyone know if a gift is expected at these things?I've honestly never gone to a narcissist party before so I don't know what is expected

A mirror? A giant portrait of herself? A bronzed statue of her uterus?

bi's picture

I think my SD would be thrilled with a life size statue of her at 9 mos pregnant. one for each child, thank you.

msg1986's picture

Im 28 and I just had DD in Dec 2013 (I was 27 at the time) and the idea of a gender reveal party really was such a strange thing to me. SIL had one, however we weren't invited as it was only for the grandparents. I'm glad we weren't invited though as I probably wouldn't have attended as it just seemed so weird to me. I mean, who cares? Everyone will find out the gender when you pop the kid out, why have a party?

We live in a time where it seems everyone needs to be congratulated and complimented for doing nothing. Don't even get me started on the selfie epidemic. It baffles me.

bi's picture

oh yes, the selfies. SD is famous for those as well. She has been known to post as many as 3 in one damn day before. it is rare that I post a picture of only me, and if I do, it's just for my profile. SD needs to constantly hear how beautiful she is. Me, I don't care if anyone thinks I'm beautiful or not. FDH loves me and my kids love me and that's good enough for me.

bi's picture

Agreed. It's kind of how I feel about my kids' bdays. On milestone years, we do a big party, there's decorations, a big cake, extended family, etc. I know a lot of people who do this EVERY YEAR. No. Not me. In between milestone years, I invite our parents and grandmothers (No grandfathers alive anymore Sad ), and SD and her family for dinner and cake. That's it. I would love to go out and celebrate with my daughter if she ever had a baby, but for her to invite everyone she knows would be embarrassing to me.

bi's picture

I wish I could block her, but it's just not worth the drama.

People acting like assholes is one of the reasons we kept my last pregnancy a secret. I was horrible for announcing a prior pregnancy (that ended in miscarriage) on fb. I was apparently supposed to drive to everyone's house and tell them. (this was all FDH's family, not mine). Yet SD announced this pregnancy on fb and that was fine. When we found out DS6 was a boy, we were SO excited. we both wanted a boy. FDH's sm had to instantly be negative about how ultrasounds have been wrong and we shouldn't be so sure and we may end up with a (not the real names)Jane instead of John. When I miscarried, these same people who were so pissed that I announced on fb didn't even bother to call me and see how I was doing or express sympathy. So obviously they never really cared, they just like to bitch!

bi's picture

OMG. Is there any end to the ridiculous ways this new generation will try to be the center of attention and get gifts for themselves? DD is 19 and she's very unusual. Most of her friends are boys. She has 3 girls that are good friends, the rest are boys. She's not self centered and couldn't give 2 shits what anyone thinks of her. I asked her today (she has said she does not want natural children, she wants to take in foster kids) if she has any kids of her own, will she want to do a gender reveal party? she looked at me with equal parts disgust and "are you crazy" and said "Hell no! That's so stupid! Why do you need to have a party to tell people? You're going to either have a boy or a girl. You aren't the first person to have a kid!" I never even told her about SD's party, so that's just her real opinion on it. I'm so glad she is not like most of her generation!

AllySkoo's picture

Lol The gender reveal parties don't bother me (and no, I've never heard of one where you bring gifts, it's usually just a cake and dinner type thing). Actually, one of my on-line friends did this only THEY didn't know the sex of the baby either! The had the u/s tech write it on a piece of paper and took it to a baker. Said "if it says girl, do a pink cake, if it's boy do blue, cover it in white frosting so no one can see the cake." So even the parents-to-be only found out when they cut the cake. The grandparents-to-be were apparently over the moon at this idea, they loved being included. Smile

Oh, and u/s can be wrong if they say "girl" but they are virtually NEVER wrong if they say "boy"! (They can just not see the dangly bits and think girl, but if they SEE dangly bits it's not like that changes!)

zerostepdrama's picture

****Hairstyle Reveal Party***

In honor of: Hereiam

Host: Zerostepdrama

Time and Date: Any date that is the most inconveinent for you!

RSVP: Not that anyone actually does!

BYOB Bitches!

Hereiam has a new hair style! Now we all know she just got her hair trimmed last week but this is a BIG DEAL! Is it curly? Straight? Dyed? Natural? Highlights? Oh can't wait to find out.

Now dont forget to wear YOUR hair as how you think hereiam's new hair style is.

Hereiam does not expect gifts, but if you happen to bring one... then she most definetly wont be turning it down. She is registered at: Great Clips, Macys, Paul Mitchell and $10 Hair Cuts.

You can find this invite also on FB, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter and other social media outlets.

bi's picture

Her mom thinks she's the best mom in the world, but SD has never had anything good to say about her to me. I would say their relationship is rocky. The reason I don't trust SD's intentions is because of how irate she was when she was almost 17 and I was pregnant, and how damn happy she was when I lost that baby. She knows after 2 miscarriages and a 2nd trimester stillbirth, pregnancy is a sensitive area for me, especially when it comes to her because of her past behavior. Part of me thinks she just wants to rub it in, but mostly I think she truly expects everyone else to care as much as she does. It bothers her that I never ask questions or make comments on her posts (that I don't even see). She's doing what she's got to to make sure I KNOW what's going on. She's trying to force me to care. The best she can hope for is that I don't completely cut her off, which I did for about 2 years. She's wanting way too much out of me given our history.

bi's picture

And the bitch got what she wanted. Always does. If she had wanted triplets, guaranteed she would have gotten them. I can only hope that this much hoped for daughter is exactly like her mother. I hope she gets what she gave. I hope this child is a f'g nightmare when she's a teenager. Hey, that's a lot better than wishing her baby dead, like she did mine. And she got what she wanted then, too.