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Janemakey13's picture

My last post was about SS13 staying up late and sleeping in. Well the reason SS13 is up late is because he's playing video games. SS13 never really had any interest intill he got his phone in 6th grade. BM gave SS a iPhone(yes iPhone in 6th grade) and SS plays Video games almost non stop. Funny thing is BM bitches non stop to DH about how she does NOT like SS playing video games BUT allows SS to bring the phone over and ONLY takes the phone away if SS gets into trouble. 

SS13 will spend a average of 8 hrs a day playing video games sometimes up to 12hrs. How many hours do your young teen play video games for? Is this just a stage that SS will grown out of? 

 

SS13 was never the Outdoorsy/sports type of kid. More screaming Destroying breaking tornado type kid. Basically zero social skills from being made a spoiled center of the Universe by both parents. Never had any friends till 6th grade and even those are more just " school friends" that SS sits with a lunch and maybe calls once in awhile. No sleepovers, play dates. 
 

tog redux's picture

He should not be playing video games 12 hours a day.  My SS20 lives with BM, has never worked, dropped out of college, has no driver's license, has depression and anxiety, and video games have been a huge part of his failure at life. He's not good at anything else, because BM has rarely made him try to do anything else, or stick with what he does try. (He was alienated from DH from ages 15-18, so it's not DH's fault. He tried).

Your SO should be setting some limits on the gaming.

1wonder woman's picture

Playing video games for any kid or adult can become addicting this is why kids have parents. A child must be taught life is a balancing act,,, it is not fun fun all the time no you gotta work too. A parent must teach a kid you must work for the things you want in life too  It is the parents job to set house rules in each home and setting a time limit for playing video games could be one of those house rules. Let the kid know you will be disp lined too if you break one of the house rules. Each home should have a chore list too for the kids to follow. 

My parents were divorced when I was 7 years old and my mom had us girl's on weekends. My mom use to have a wipe off board with our chores on it and one board had her house rules wrote on it.. We knew right away to work on our chore lists then we had some free time. My mom would give us a little money as well to do our chores and our Dad would too. We were taught if she took us to a store and we wanted anything well we had to pay for it ourselves and we had to earn our own money first by doing chores .This kept us kids busy and we were right there with our mom working with her like we were on a team working together. Every week end she would wash her car us girl's helped her vacuum and wash and wax her car. We all three went to a laundry mat and helped her do laundry. If mom was working outside in the flower garden or cutting the grass we were right there with her helping her. Every weekend we got to pick out a new recipe and one kid would make the main dish and the other kids would make the desert. We loved cooking with our mom and trying out new recipes it was fun. My mom also would do fun creative art projects with us girls too... we would paint and draw together.  When we were teenagers my mom would;d take us girls bowling, roller skating and to the movies.  We loved riding bikes with our mom we would go park hopping. When we were with our Dad my Dad always had a big garden and us girl's would be outside helping to weed the garden, water the garden and pick the garden. My Dad also made us wash his car too... he taught us girls how to cut grass.  My Dad took us fishing and camping... If my Dad was painting a bedroom we kids always were right there helping and learning at the same time. We also use to sit down with our step mom and do fun things like scarp booking with her and she would take us to volunteer at the homeless shelter. We bonded with both our step parents too.

Maybe ask his son some questions like what other fun things does he like to do. Is there anything he would like to learn to do like learn how to for example play a guitar, cook do art. Ask the kid if he has any interests in learning something new? Get the kid to do something else besides paying video games. Get the kid to do some chores around the house this will take him away from paying his video games keep him busy. Maybe your husband could take him fishing, camping or get the kid a bike and all three of you go bike riding together and if you do not want to join them he could just go riding with his Dad. Maybe take him to the movies...I know with COVID-19 going on things are limited to do and that makes things even worse. But you could create a movie night where you all three sit down pick out a movie have popcorn and snacks. We use to set up tents in our own back yard we would make a bomb fire and roast hot dogs and marsh mellows.

Parents are the leaders... the kids will follow you if your give them direction. I had two awesome parents that kept us kids busy and that is the key. Kids get bored and they need to try out doing new things. They also need a list of chores to do in both homes. They need discipline too...yes the kid has two homes and one of the homes should not be DISNEY WORLD where it is fun fun all the time and lets go spend money. No... Kids become a reflection of who ever is bringing them up too... all kids need gaudiness, direction and discipline even a teenagers.

kd622's picture

My DS is 21 has a full tme job, a drivers license and gives us $200 a week towards expenses which is very helpful. he likes to play online video game which i have no issue with. he has never missed a day aof work becasue of his gaming and does jobs around the house. On the other hand DH bought SS9 GTA5 ( I feel he is too young for this game) but he has been playing so much he is up until 4am and then sleeps all day. I told DH this and he was fine with it becasue he willbe going back to school soon and he isn't bothering anyone. But DH has severe issues with the 21 year old that does it for a few hours a night. Double standard as usual. everything SS does is fine with him. 

AshMar654's picture

SS soon to be 12 only gets to play vidoe games on the weekends when school is in session. We also set limits on everything he does. 2 hours max on his switch. Yes my son has a cell phone at his age and it is a pretty new Iphone as well. He has it because we do not have a house phone and that is how we get ahold of him when he is home alone. I get your SS having a cell phone.

Did you know that with an Iphone you can set it up to where they can not play games at all or have limits on it? He should be limited and forced to go outside or read a book. I can be at work and lock my son out of everything back home if I want to. There are ways to control kids and electronics.

Rags's picture

we had enough when SS-28 hit sixth grade. We eleminated all access to video games and fantasy card games in our home. SS was fixated.  He could not function in the real world.  So, we forced him to use his own immagination, read books, which he was already doing, we took him on real world adventures, rock climbing, hiking, rafting, fossil hunting, etc, etc, etc.....

We did not give him a phone until the end of 8th grade and it was just a stick phone. Calls and texts, that was it.  He did not get a smart phone until nearly 4 years later and it was not an iPhone.  Against our better Judgement we got  him a laptop towards the end of his Jr. year of HS which brought his very successful experience at Military School to an end a year later after the SpermIdiot helped him hack the school fire wall and they stayed up all night every night playing WoW. So instead of paying a fortune in tuition we brought him home at Christmas break of his Sr. year took his lap top, enrolled him in our local HS and he had to bust his ass to graduate on time.

After he graduated we still kept video games out of our house.   Amost a year after he gradauted at 17 he enlisted in the USAF.  Once he finished BMT, graduated, finshed Tech school he bought his own computer and started gaming again.  He keeps his head in the real world and is doing great in his career.

He still games more than his mom or I would like but at 28 it is is life to live.