New here looking for advice from other steps please
I've been with DH for 6 years and we just got married last fall. DH has two children. One is away at college and the other one is in 7th grade. Ben (7th grader) lives with us about 40 percent of the time and BM the rest. We live about 15 mins from BM's house. Both BM and DH are equally involved with Ben. DH and BM DO NOT get along but tolerate each other for Ben. BM is controlling, manipulating and a serious helicopter parent. DH is totally a Disney Dad filled with Divorce guilt. Ben is a smaller version of BM unfortunately. Hey if things were Perfect I would not be on here right? I have a few questions for other steps in how things run at their house.
1. Say you and step child get into a disagreement with DH within earshot and step child starts yelling or talking rudely to you. Does DH get involved or does he let you handle it? Do you give consequences or does that fall on DH because he's the parent?
2. What is considered "normal" teen rudeness/moodiness vs unacceptable behavior? Yes I know kids should never be rude BUT I remember being a teen.
3. Say step child gets into trouble at school or starts failing classes. Does DH include you in brainstorming solutions or does he just discuss these things with BM? Do you go to parent/teacher conferences or just BM/DH? Our school REFUSES to do two separate so DH and BM go together.