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The Good Twin and the Evil Twin

invisiblestepmom's picture

My Step kids are 15 year old boy and girl twins.

I get along fairly well with my SD15. I have some issues with her and we are not a clsoe as I would like to be but DH and BM both get in th way of that. BM has punished her for getting close to me, and DH does not like me correcting her when she needs it. I really do love her. I am cocerned about her and wish I could do more. She is a depressing child, survived cancer and just can't get over the trauma of childhood cancer (because no one lets her or helps her see the positive side like she survived and is alive, she is into goth emo vampire type stuff and I think it goes to far, she has horribe hygiene, poor manners ot ladylike at all, she can be a raging bitch at times but I think its PMS and if I had her mother I would be too, she eats 24/7 and right now it bothers me because we are on a tight grocery budget and can't afford for her to snack on full course meals, then trun right around and eat the dinner I made for the family. I am recovered from an eating disorder so I see this as a red falg and am concerned, she will literlaly eat everything i bought for me and the kids to have for lunch during the week while DH and SKIDS are at school in the weekends that she is hear. All this worries me that she has emotional issues that need to be addressed by a professional but no one will take her, she even asks for the help and still no one will take her, I tried but as a step paretn I cant consent...the two things that she does that I can't stand are scream at her little brothers all the time, she really is a nasty bitch to them and they jsut want ehr attention becasue the love and adore thier sissy the other thing is the attitude when we do try to correct her...I wish I was closer to her than we are but BM spent many years sabotaging it but we still try. Beneath the anger, depression and teen angst she is a good heaterd smart kid that is easy to love...She is also sometiems the only one in our hosue who will stand up for me to all the other paretns in their lives, and she stands up for me to her twin brother...

Now her twin brother on the other hand is as she says and I can confirm is the the evil twin...he is rotten nasty mean to every one, he has poor hygine, poor mannars, no morals, lies, cheats, steals, rude and disrespectfdul to everyone, is so mean to his siblings that they are afraid of him. We have never been close, I tried like hell but he has always hated me. SS15 is very difficult to love, somedays I dont even know if I like him. I can't stand when he is around. he is selfish, self centered, can't ben ice to anyone, teases every one, has anger issues, is just not a nice person. He disrupts the peace of the home, sabotags family tmie together, always wants to do what he wants , wants his way or no way, does stupid things, is lazy and unmotivated..I feel bad not liking him. I care about him but he really is an ass, everyone except DH and BM will tell you he is an ass but to them he can do no wrong, or the wrong that he does is not his fault.. poor grades = mean teacher, fights at school = the other kid deserved it, problems at home = my fault or step DAD's fault at BM's house. He is the meanset brother I have ever seen in my life. He broke one of his brothers arms at BM's house, and probably will at our hosue someday when I cant be here 24/7 to protect my babies from him, but it is never a problem the story goes from him kicking thier ass and being mean to, oh we were messing around real fast because all his brother are afraid of him. To top it off he gets waht he wants all the time and nothing is good enough like last year he got a 275$ Ipod for xmas, this year he wants to upgrdae it because it does not have enough memeory on it, well DUH youa re supposed to take things off and put new things on not just keep every download on there forever!!He alsway wants bigger and better and treats all his parent like shit because htey cant afford to give it to him, but half the time still will while all the other kids and the adults go without. He rules the roost in both homes. DH even does not like his attitude but will do nothgin about it, he acts helpless. I really dont like an ass running my family life so I am miserable with him in my life, but I love DH and I love SD15 and I can't take my two beautiful boys away from their daddy so I put up with SS15's shit. But it gets to the point where some days i really dont give a damn about what happesn to him as long as he is out of my house in the future. I feel so guilty feeling that way. But it really blows my mind away how one kid can be so different from his twin sister. How she can have a heart and he really acts completely heartless. I know he does care but he does not know how to show it and can't get over the self centeredness enough to truly care.
Does anyone else have that problems where they get along well with on stepkid and then can't stand the next?