So, I try not to say anything to FH when BM is being an idiot, but I just can't keep it in right now... so I sent him an email for sake of not getting into a yelling match with him.

Let me back track just a minute~ we moved before the school year started, I have a 2nd grader and a kinder and SS is in Kinder. I wanted to keep my 2nd grader in the same school she has been in, and obviously I wanted them all to go to the same school. We were not in right district so I had to apply for a waiver. VERY hard to get. My ex husbands aunt is a big wig with the school district so I had no real problem getting it, but there are RULES to abide by in order to KEEP it. And those rules apply to ALL kids on waivers even if you "know someone". And one rule is~ you can't have excessive lates and tardiness. There is a reason school districted are zoned the way they are and you are supposed to go to the school closest to your house. We drive about 7 miles. No big deal. At the start of the school year BM lived about 10 miles from the school... she can't get up and get HERSELF to work (hence her being unemployed for 2 of the 4 years I have been with FH) and I knew she would struggle getting SS to school. So I gave her a copy of the contract we signed saying the kids would be on time and not have a lot of absences and TOLD her HE CANNOT BE LATE, they will pull his waiver and make him go to a different school, that is not nearly as nice and his sisters won't be there. DON'T BE LATE, DON'T BE LATE DON'T BE LATE. She understood (or so she said). Then about a month into the school ear she moved to the GHETTO~ which is about 20 miles from the school. I KNEW she couldn't get him to school on time~ I called it the day she told us where she was moving... So, we got report cards today, and guess what?!?!?!?! 6 tardies. Not one from us... he is in danger of losing his waiver. I am praying the principal is gracious and lets it slide. But I honestly don't know. I asked FH to talk to her about it, he did but I was not there... I am sure it didn't sink in though because she came by my office to get a copy of SS report card and didn't say a word about it.. If he had laid into her, she would have been screaming at me about it.

This is what I wrote him:

Look, I know you think I just hate BM and I am out to get her. Whatever whatever. It is frustrating when you look at ONE issue at a time and blow it off. When you take all of the bone head moves she has pulled over the past 4 years it = BAD MOM. Let's think about this....

She has:

Smoked weed with him home (I have email from her admitting it)
Smoked cig with him in car REPEATEDLY which inflames his eczema and could KILL him
Allows him around (pretty much live with) a DRUG addict and convicted felon
Can't keep a job for crap to support him (time and time again)
Repeatedly started arguments and disruptions regarding OUR personal matters with his schools, resulting in getting him kicked out (every school, M & M, Adventures AND AV Christian)
Lets him play near rail road tracks and on the roof of her house ( I don't believe her for a second, why would he say that if is was not true, kids don't just come up with something LIKE THAT?)
Has dragged SEVERAL different men in and out of his life over the past 4 years, allowing him to get attached to them and then they disappear.
TRYING to get pregnant AGAIN when she can't even afford to raise SS
Moving him into the GHETTO
Letting him stay home "sick" from school and then taking him to the toy store (THIS YEAR)
Picking him up early from school because she "wants to see him"
And now he is at risk of losing his waiver because she can't get him to school on time???? WTF???

When you put all of these things together (not to mention the hundred of things that I have FORGOTTEN about) she has no business raising a child. I wish you would do something about this. She is not ever looking out for his best interest. Every switch she asks for, and every stupid move she makes is out of PURE selfishness and/or irresponsibility. With as anal as you are about SS when he is with US, I can't believe you let his mother get always with this shit.

I love you and I am not going to fight with you about this. I just want you to know that when it comes to her, I lose respect for you. You have no spine with her. And it is sad to see you like that. If the tables where turned and BD where pulling such bone head moves, you would be the FIRST to point them out, and the FIRST to tell me to do something about it.

I think it is high time for her to have a wake up call. 6 tardies in one semester is unacceptable. She came in here like nothing happened. Normally when you "get your point across" to her, she is pissed at you for days. So I know it didn't click. And for her to say she didn't know is a BOLD FACE LIE, I told her several times that he can't be late. Before school started and when she moved to the other side of town.

I am sending a note to his teacher. I want the dates that he was tardy so we can prove they were her days.

Was I out of line, be honest please...