Just want to say THANKS
I found this site when I was at a very low and depressed point in my life, a year ago!!! I was confused as hell about the actions of my (now) exboyfriend. I was new to dating a man with kids/exW's, etc.
I thought I was a jealous and insecure person for being upset over the way he and BM talked 3 times/day plus texts. My friends/family told me I should be thankful that they are friends like that, and how their friendship speaks volumes about HIM and his character. I knew I didn't like it, but everyone told me I was the one being too insecure, so I did my best to accept their rship. They have 50/50 and he dosn't pay her any CS. Anytime I tried to talk to him about their constant communication, he always said they were only friendly and communicative for the sake of their son, and since his son came first, I either needed to accept the way they co-parented, or, leave him.
I also found it odd that my boyfriend was giving her unemployed boyfriend money to do handyman work to HIS house. I questioned why he would ask her boyfriend to do the work, who happens to be the same man she cheated on my boyfriend with. Boyfriend said he felt bad for his exW because her boyfriend doesn't work, so by paying him to do handyman work, he felt like he was helping her out with her bills. And then I found out that she was talking to him about her problems in life, her boyfriend issues, etc, and he was giving her advice. And then he confessed to me that they were not "friends" while married, but they are good friends now. And she is free to call him anytime she needs to. Again, friends/family saw nothing wrong with any of this. They thought my bf was being very responsible and mature.
I found this site and you'll helped me SOOOOO much. It took me several months to finally get out of dodge, but when I finally did dodge, I let loose of all my steam about how I really feel about his crazy BM who has been married 3 times and their bratty son. I told him he is going to have his hands very full if that child is anything like his mother when he grows up. And I pointed out the manipulation he is already pulling at age 5. I also told him that he is causing sibling rivalry by favoring the 5 yo boy over his 6 yo son (they have different mothers). I called him a pathetic father for the favoritism and told him to not be surprised when the 6 yo grows up and never talks to him. BF was soooo offended, but I didn't care!!! He ended up changing his number after that fight and told me he will get a restraining order on me if I ever contact him again!!
I'm still a little shook up over the jerk, especially the ending. But I just want to thank you ladies for all the advice and support over the past 12 months. I had that awful feeling in my gut a year ago when I sought online answers and found this place, but everyone that I love and admire, including my own step mom, kept telling me that I should be thankful!! I was sooo confused. I wonder where I would be in life if I never found this place? Would I still be with him and biting my tongue over everything? Would I have peace with everything? Would I be married to him?
Ugggh. Thank U!!