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biodaddy is the one who can't move on.....

leftfield's picture

My bf told one of our mutual friends that he was upset when his exW and her boyfriend were at their son's Thanksgiving play together.My boyfriend knows their son wanted the boyfriend at the play and he was ok with his presence, but his ExW should have at least asked him if it would be ok for her boyfriend to be there.... Just to give him a heads up and show respect. wtf? this is the exW boyfriend of 3 years who she cheated on my boyfriend with, so I guess there is a lil jealousy still? Is this normal?

Also, last year when my bf realized that exW boyfriend could possibly become their sons stepdad someday, he (my bf) decided to be more warm to her bf in order to keep the peace. He had her boyfriend come to his house to help with home repairs since her bf is a handyman. I didn't think much of it until I found out that my bf PAID him. He paid him because "the bum doesn't work and my exW gives him an allowance. I thought I would give him some money for his work and because he does babysit our child when exW works late" WTF? Is this normal?

And recently when exW announced she was pregnant and confided in my bf about how she wants to leave her boyfriend, my boyfriend stayed on the phone with her for at least an hour letting her vent. I told my bf it was very disresptful of her to throw her bf under the bus like that. boyfriend stood up for her....claiming she is tired because she works 2 jobs while her bf sits at home. I said her bf must be a nice man, afterall, she has been with him for 3 years. Boyfriend looked at me and said "he's like 40....40.... and he doesnt work. i dont know what she sees in him". Hmmmm jealous?

I don't get their relationship. bf and exW weren't married for very long. She left him for her current bf and has been with him for 3 years. ExW has been married 3 times and is only 35. She and my bf now have a wonderful relationship. bf refers to her as a "friend". he said they weren't friends before/during their marriage, but they are now and he likes it this way. their is no bickering and figthing, he doesn't pay child support because they have joint custody and she doesn't want any money from him... and they work well together to coparent. And she can't wait to meet me and supposedly has a christmas gift for me.

My sister seems to think that if I relax a little and not get so pissy when bf and his exW talk/text constantly, that he and I will grow closer. And when I say they text constantly....I mean several times/day. and in due time, their talking/texting will dwindle because she is due to have another baby in March and her focus will be on the new baby. My sister also said when their son (now 5) is a lil older, they probably won't talk as much. My sister wants me to get her a christmas gift also to extend the olive branch.She thinks my bf just wants to keep the peace and to believe him when he tells me he has no feelings for her in a romantic way. But in my mind, he seems to still love her because of how much they talk and how he refers to her bf as a "bum".

mystiery's picture

You would have to ask him if he still had feelings for her. However, I do not see an issue with the situation really. I know that you may feel uncomfortable and trust I have been there. But in all honestly with everyone getting along and being friends it does make things much easier. I am good friends with my husbands ex and we spend just about all holidays and birthday together, the kids love it because they do not feel they have to choose, it makes life easier and even us adults enjoy it as well. It was not like this from day one but over the years it has gotten better and things have gone great. My suggestion is that you give it a try and if you still do not like it and feel uncomfortable be an adult and sit down and talk to them about it to try to find an alternative solution. I hope this helps and good luck, you might just gain another friend.