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Advice - ungrateful adult step kids

dmt1966's picture

My DH and I invited SD,age 25, and her BF to a sporting event, paying for tickets ($320/couple for 2 games) and hotel room, some meals. It will easily be a $1000 weekend. Several of my friends/family are staying together too but our event tickets are spread out all over a huge venue. My DH and I have been married 4 months.

DH had to return home for work, so SD decided to offer my extra ticket to her uncle (on Facebook) who is from her mom's side of the family. She text me 6 hours later that her uncle could buy the ticket and he would sit with her and her BF in their section, so that I wouldn't have to sit by a stranger, her uncle. She thought this was "doing me a favor by selling the ticket," but my take is different.....

I would be sitting alone in a stadium holding 78,000 people
It is my ticket to offer
The offer of my ticket to someone outside of my DH's family & friends is disrespectful
She did not think to sit with me while her uncle & BF sat together

This, combined with a lack of eye contact, no "thank yous," and a statement upon arriving to the effect that she & her siblings may "have to spend XMas with their dad if their mom goes on a trip that time" (actually April Fools joke from her brother to her). So, her brother tried to trick her into believing they "would have to spend XMas with him"...the horror!

Time to disengage and reset the boundaries, suggestions appreciated!

Hatecopycats's picture

For being married 4 months, you catch on fast.....I love you!!

Your a savvy woman, and I hope SD watches her step with you....your on to her.

I agree with every thing you said.

As far as suggestions....maybe tell SD what you said on'd be sitting, it wasn't her ticket to offer, and it was thoughtless of her not to offer to sit with you, so you wouldn't be sitting alone.

She sounds very calculating and manipulative.....a twin of my SD21

Do you mind if I ask you where in Texas do you live?? I'm in Dallas area.

donna123's picture

Wow, what an ignorant and did I say stupid, SD. Her reason for usurping YOUR ticket to sell to her mother’s family and then feigning it as a show of concern for you by allegedly sparing you the discomfort of sitting beside a stranger is nonsensical. Even though you haven’t met the uncle, in SD’s scenario the person you will sit beside is going to be even more of a stranger. Next excuse! Come on SD how about a little honesty here! I bet you she doesn’t even know how absurd her justification was and how it more accurately shows her spite.

She had NO right to set up any of these plans. She is way, way out of line. She knows damn well this was no favour. It is just clumsy attempt to stick it to you that you are not part of HER family.

If you can’t cancel the trip entirely, or give or sell the ticket to a close friend, I would suggest personally contacting the uncle and if he seems like an ok guy I would make sure he sat right beside me so we could gossip about HER. Haha. That move may also have the additional benefit of opening up your DH’s eyes to the actions of his divisive, manipulative, not so sweet daughter.

Whatever you decide she definitely does NOT get the ticket.

sandye21's picture

I agree with donna123. Sell or even give the ticket to a friend. Think of how much fun YOU will be having. If you sell the ticket to the Uncle you will be outnumbered by those close to SD. You would be odd person out. I've been there and it's no fun.

dmt1966's picture

Many thanks to all! My sister invited a friend to the game, so they sat together. I ended up sitting with another friend in the best section in the stadium. My DH is totally on board and tired of such antics. We are creating an united front and setting expectations. I did receive a nice card & bottle of wine as a thank you (DH probably put a bug in SD's ear, but it worked). Again, many thanks to you all!