Hanging out with birth mom and her family at kids events
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My husband told me at kid events (sports, dance, school plays etc) he doesnt speak to or sit next to birth mom. Well thats not exaclty true I dont think. I went to SS's baseball game and birth mom showed up with her parents (stepkids and former in laws grandparents). Ex and former father in law all sat with my husband and his mother in the same vicinity and talked the whole time. So much for that. The only one who stayed away was his former mother in law and her new husband because shes the only one with a life apparently and also doesnt care for my husbands mom (understandably). Odd that people lie about these things needlessly.
I've been so lucky in that
I've been so lucky in that department!
No one sits with BM, no one talks to BM. If she didn't bring her BF or a friend, she'd be sitting alone. But it's all her own doing.
It's very important to BM that she is liked more than DH. When they first split up she ran to DHs mom and trash talked him. MIL looked at her and said "You know he's my son and I love him, just like you love SS, right?" MIL would have remained friends with BM but for BM it's all or nothing. If you aren't with her, you are against her. She told DH that since they were not together anymore neither of them should talk to the others parents. She was worried that her parents would pick him over her.
So now no one from DHs side of the family talks to BM and he has a very large family.
When we would go to skid games I'd be sitting with FIL, MIL, and any other aunties or uncles that came to the games. In addition to that most of the parents of the other kids liked DH way more than BM. Again BM dug her own grave and stopped talking to anyone who was nice to DH or me. So the other parents became my and DHs friends.
The skids are all done school and so no more games. I do miss them. SD plays on a womens league now and we will sometimes go to watch her. Now we're making friends with her teammates partners and kids.
When my SO split with his
When my SO split with his then wife, both his mother and his SM were very supportive of her both for her sake and "for the kids". He had hidden a lot of the crazy abusive behaviour on her part and so they thought he was leaving 'out of the blue'. Within a very short space of time, she had written to both of them saying that she needed someone who would support her 100% and not my SO at all - so it was best if they didn't talk to her at all or offer her any support. She burned that bridge pretty quick. His mom is nice, but his SM is SUPER nice and has a "let's include everyone" attitude and has gone out of her way to include my son in things, she was pretty baffled by BM's attitude.
My ex's parents - I'm no contact with them. His mother pulled a stunt at a public event where I was coaching and reffing and BS was playing that was so bad I had to threaten to eject her. She told me I couldn't do that. I just laughed in her face. We have a zero tolerance policy for any drama in our sport. She was lucky that her husband dragged her off to the clubhouse. I was about to get the club stewards. Then she wanted to call the police on me. Ha ha. As I was an official and stayed cool the whole time, she'd have found herself escorted off the premises. And I've never spoken to the witch again and basically told my ex that if there was a next time there would be court involvement.
My parents on the other hand speak to my ex. I had to beg my mother to stop provoking my ex about poltics on facebook. My mother is awful so she continued until my brother intervened. My ex has gone into a very dark place politics wise and I didn't think it was safe to provoke him. She has an ocean between her and him but I live a 10 minute walk away.
Are you willing to tell him
Are you willing to tell him how you feel?
I don't know what the history
I don't know what the history is or how high conflict this situation is, but if it's not awful then so what? It's not a bad thing to have decent relationships with the kids' grandparents. It's not possible in my case, but if my ex MIL wasn't such a crazy $%^£@ then I'd chit chat with her. I can occasionally have a chit chat with my ex and my SO knows it's no big deal. I'm always on guard because you just don't know when he'll be awful, but if I can get along with him ok, that's for the better.
Not anymore
I always had a very amicable relationship with BM and her family I liked seeing them it wasn't often but went on for 23 years. Not anymore she has had no right to do and say what she has in the last 12 months it has caused trouble between my husband and I . not that he's on her side he just doesn't care but boy it upset me. No more she can have SD I won't fight for anything there ever again. I don't believe this situation could ever be trusted again.
BM (when she shwos up, VERY
BM (when she shwos up, VERY rarely) plants herself RIGHT BY US. Which makes everyon uncomfortable. i think it's some kind of power play... So I just started bieng extra lovey-dovey on DH during those rare times she bothers to show... It normally ends in her looking pissed off... LMAO