You are here

Gone but still causing problems...

The Triangle's picture

The short:

ss14 (then) never returned from visitation this summer.  He is being the biggest, well second biggest pos I have truly had the opportunity to encounter.  He barely speaks to dh, like won’t retun a text for 2 wks at a time, won’t answer phone, barely speaks.  He is being just like his “mommy”.  I’m busy, i’ll Call you tomorrow, blah blah blah.  The kicker,  HE has decided that he will not be coming for the holidays.  Nope, not a one.  Dh is devastated!  It will be 11 months IF ss can be so gracious as to bless us with his presence in the spring.  


I know, a LOT of you are probably thinking: GOOD RIDDENS!  Well, although he is not in my face throwing a mom parade on the daily, his absence is breaking my dh’s Heart!  My dh is a good man and did all he could while he had full custody.  Heck, he still does. It kills me that this loser gets all the glory.  I am blocked from everything.  Like I never existed.  Just a super sad situation.  I hope my dh can find peace.  


Oh and the reason why dh is not in a car pulling stepson out of bm’s house or destroying her in court is because ss is 15 and part of the problem.  Unfortunately, he is making BIG choices at the hands of pos #1.  Ones that ss will regret for the rest of his days.  Obviously bm could care less if they have a relationship.  Dh would have NEVER let ss treat bm like this.  NO MATTER WHAT. I am thankful to have a good dh, that doesn’t want to spend any more of our time or money buying into the family court system.  We did that once, it took years, it took 10’s of thousands, and for what?  A court order that bm doesn’t have to abide by? CS that she doesn’t have to pay?  Nope, we’re good.


i just really want my dh to find peace.  He does not deserve this treatment.  He really is a good dad!  So much so that most of my struggle was trying to get him to take his dad hat off and put on his husband hat...  I guess my point is, if you can find it in your hearts to send a little light and love our way this holiday season?  We could really use it.  Thanks in advance and Happy Holidays!

tog redux's picture

My SS was alienated from 15-18, and only returned about 3 months ago. He either ignored DH entirely, or early on, responded to his texts with hostile nastiness.  It was hard on DH at first, very hard, but with time, he thrived without the drama and stress. In our case, there was no point in fighting in court, either. We'd already spent too much.

Your DH has to try to just move forward. Let his son know he loves him and the door is open, but focus on himself, his marriage, and anything else that makes him happy.  Keep in touch with SS but don't expect anything - he's been alienated by BM. He still loves DH, but he's under BM's influence to reject him.



The Triangle's picture


Rags's picture

File a contempt motion against BM for failing to return the child per the CO.  Keep doing it.  See if the toxic Skid likes seeing mommy get her ass smacked by the Judge.  What BM is doing is illegal. She cannot be allowed to interfere in DH's relationship with his child.

If SS was on visitation at BM's that logically makes DH the CP.  This is a shit storm that can be brought down on BM like a tone of crap in a one Lb bag.  Let loose the storm of shit.

And have fun doing it.