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And the third time is a charm

SM12's picture

What a crappy weekend!!   I will try to keep it short. 

My BS is home for a short time before leaving to his next duty station.  He splits his time between me and the XH.  This past weekend he was here with me.  

DH is working out of town this past weekend through next.  He will be home late in the evenings but gone early in am until late night.  This past weekend was kid weekend.  Typically YSS doesn’t come on the weekends DH works out of town but this time DH three a curve ball and said late Friday night YSS was coming because “he wanted to spend time with BS”.  I wasn’t thrilled but kept that to myself.

the second YSS comes in the door Friday evening he goes straight to the video game and we don’t see him all evening.  The next morning Bs and I had planned to go to an event an hour away and asked YSS to go.  He said no and wanted to stay home.  We left and had a great day and got him about 6 pm.  YSS didn’t stick his head out of the bedroom until 7 pm.  YSS asked for a friend to spend the night.  I said No nicely and told him he should wait until DH is home for a friend to come since I was tired from being gone all day.   YSS  storms off mumbling and slams the bedroom door. I count to 100 and calm down.  Next I get a text from YSS from the bedroom asking again for his friend to stay saying BM can come get them early in the morning so he can “at least have some fun”.  Well that tipped me over the edge.  After taking a few deep breaths I cam YSS into the living room.   I point out that the whole purpose for him being there is to spend time worn BS WHiCH he has not done.  Then YSS says he doesn’t have fun with BS.  Ughh. So I again ask them why did you come??  He claims he is bored.  So I remind him of how he chose to stay home all day by himself and it is not my fault he is bored and he should think twice before taking it out on me.   He again says he didn’t want to do what we were doing blah. Blah blah.  I again told him “not my problem “.  He chose how his weekend went, not I.  And he chose to be bored, not I.  And he can stop taking his decisions out on me.    

Not I wasn’t yelling, screaming, cursing or anything.  It was a firm conversation as I didn’t want him to think it was ok to ever treat me like that. 

Yss ended up going back to his room and anytime he came out he shot me side eye.  He is furious with me.  

I told DH about it and he didn’t have anything to say which kind of bothered me.  I felt he should have told me I was right but he was mute.  No big surprise. 

So later I got to thinking....DH didn’t say anything so why?  So I looked at his phone and saw the text exchange with YSS.  And also, YSS never text his dad to complain about me getting on him.  But I did see that it wasn’t YSS who asked to come over.  It was DH who didn’t ask YSS to come but told him to come so he could hang out with BS.   What an asshole! 

Now that doesn’t excuse YSS for being a douche.  Or being mad about not having a friend.  But DH could have prevented the whole mess by letting YSS stay home and do his thing.  I’m so furious right now.  I have very few weekend with my BS and the last thing I wanted to do was deal with YSSs moody ass.  DH Is such a manipulative jerk!  Thank goodness he is barely home all week because I don’t want to see his face!


And by third time is a charm...YSS is the third kid of DH who hates me now.   And I’m sure if YSS stops coming over it will all be my fault!   I’m sure BM will use this to further her PAS!!


Harry's picture

He lied to you. His DS didn't want to come over.  SS should not be over if DH is not home for the weekend.  
you have major problem.  

SM12's picture

And I was given. I heads up YSS would be here in the first place.  Normally he doesn’t come when DH is gone.  I think DH is pushing for this big happy family he has pictured in his head and is forcing the situation.   YSS is the only kid who comes over.  But just like the older two, DH will ruin it all if he keeps forcing us together when we don’t want to be.  

Gimlet's picture

Oh wow, I'd be furious too.

So he lied to you and let you think the situation was something it wasn't, he cramped the little time that you have with your son, he foisted YSS on you, and then he wasnt even there for any of it??

Why on Earth would he think any of this was a good idea?  

What a jackhole.

Aniki's picture

Next time your DuH is not there,  YSS is not there. Period.Dot. Speak loudly so he can hear you, being that his fat head is lodged so far up his arse  

steppingback's picture

it looks like DH sabotaged your weekend. Is he jealous of your relationship? Particularly since he didn't tell you until the last minute. He knew SS didn't want to stay and SS probably thought you wanted him there. So he set up both of you. What a rotter.

SM12's picture

Now regardless of what DH did, I still would have told YSS no about the friend staying over and YSS would have been mad.  But yes, DH is to blame for YSS being here in the first place.   He seems to be doing a lot of stuff like that lately.   Making plans for ME to do things without asking.   Usually I tell him no or say too bad I have plans.   This time he caught me off guard.  Even BS was disappointed that YSS was coming.  We just wanted some time to ourselves.  I was a single mom for years before DH and we really enjoy each other’s company and going on adventures.

2nd wives club's picture

Do you think BM was behind this arranged weekend? Maybe your DH was concerned about how he's going to look as a parent, not having YSS on his's all about appearances with the Mr Nice Guys. They try to please everyone and will manipulate situations to make them look like Mr. Humanitarian.

SM12's picture

Now I don’t think BM demanded YSS come or anything like that.  But I do agree that DH wanted YSS to come so he didn’t look like a bad dad.  Which backfired on him....and backfires on him every time he pulls shady crap like this.  

Now to see if YSS is coming tonight or not.  I have plans to do dinner with my bs and family tomorrow not taking YSS.  So if DH wants him here, he can pick him up after he gets off work.  Not my problem.