I win

The Triangle's picture

I have now solved the problem. SS14 (15 end of summer) treats me like trash before he goes to BM's because her and her parents are starving for the "hate".  He knows it is a pretty mundane life here.  Pretty happy tho'.  We don't want for much.  School, work, chores, play time, etc.  every time ss is about to go he turns hateful to me!  I use to think it was his way of adjusting to leaving.  Now I see it is some sick bond they have because BM is a whoreable person...  along with her parents.  They are sitting right there waiting for any scraps he has to throw into the ring about us, mainly me!  Well,  everyone is aware I am disengaged.  Bm is blocked, gp's blocked, THE END!  Bm is trash,  she knows nothing about ss.  He actually just got in trouble for being disrespectful to one of my female fam members and he apparently told bm about it.  Of course the watered down version.  So when I reached out to her for some "feminine perspective", she lashed out on me!    let me start by saying her first words were "I only have five minutes so what's up" , to which I replied "well, if we only have five minutes forget about it". She said "just spit it out". To which I replied "okay, well ss is being a jerk to woman and cussed out my niece". BM blew a gasket!  Totally attacked me with the "how dare you" "you are so disrespectful" "you're exaggerating" "I am his mother" "do you not realize I am his mother" blah blah blah.  Ladies and gents I have reached my limit.  I replied with "I am more his mother than you will ever be" and hung up.  She called me back throwing a tantrum and I simply said "you have burned this bridge" hung up and blocked them all!  She has been calling dh ever since, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT! :) Now I know some may say I should not have done that etc,  let me say. IT FEELS GOOD!!! It was long overdue and ss Is 15!  I have been around for a decade, I have played bridges of Madison county for ALL of it.  I have never called her out of her name.  I never talk trash about her to ss.  I never let him be disrespectful to her (even tho she leads the parade for him).  Nope,  I'm not sorry.  I don't care AT ALL!  She will need me way before I need her.  For pics or info because her and dh are toxic.  The moral of the story: CHECK MATE! Insert happy dance!

The Triangle's picture

Because I didn't get the "disengage" memo.  Ha,  in my fairytale we all get along.  I woke up.

hereiam's picture

If BM is so awful, why would you reach out to her for a "feminine perspective", in the first place? Why have any contact with her, at all?

The Triangle's picture

That's why it's a win.  I thought she would care as was being this way and perhaps talk to him when he was there for the summer.  It was all a pipe dream

momjeans's picture

BM is a whoreable person...

I assume this was intentional. It made me chuckle.

I would have been the one to address his behavior towards my own family member. Whatever version SS chose to tattle about to mommy, and however BM wished to lash out about it, would have been on them and a brick wall. Full stop. 

Take your winning to the next level, and stop giving this dismissive “I only got 5 minutes” haughty schmuck another millisecond of airtime. 

"I am more his mother than you will ever be" and hung up.  She called me back throwing a tantrum and I simply said "you have burned this bridge" hung up and blocked them all!

C’mon, The Triangle, what are you two? Twelve? No more neener neener with BM. Ice her - that’s “winning”.


The Triangle's picture

however childish, it felt good to say what I was thinking.  Now back to putting on my big girl pants.  I now feel like I get how to disengage.  Which is better late than never in my opinion. Thanks for all the feedback!!!

danielledaniel's picture

For you. Now she knows your not the one to tangle with anymore and maybe ss has gotten the word too.