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family wizard vent

Calypso1977's picture

so as predicted, OFW has been a total joke and waste of money.
BM is not entering any appts, etc. she is not replying to messages. when fiance asked her what gives her response was "i know i have a message from you but im having trouble with it".

trouble? its moronically easy. oh, yeah, but BM is a moron....

so essentially they've just been communicating via text and regular email. we are definteily not wasting $100 on this again next year.

Disneyfan's picture

Why would she use it when your husband is willing to communicate with her via text and email?

As soon as he refuses to use anything other than OFW, she will figure out how to use it. It may take awhile for her to see that he won't back track. But if he stands firm, she will give in.

askYOURdad's picture

DH went through this. Just reply to all texts and emails with this

"please put it on OFW so I can respond"

Even that didn't do much at first, but eventually when BM wanted to switch or needed something she started using it the way it was intended.

twoviewpoints's picture

Agree with others. Even a moron will figure it out if BM can't get around using it because Dh refuses to text/email with her. I'd not look at it as a waste of money either, as if CO to use it clearly shows who is refusing to use it.

Put the communication on it and send. When a text/email comes with excuses, simply respond 'info has been placed where ordered on OFW'. End of messages any other way. BM will figure it out. The SD is a teen if I remember correctly. BM can take a few computer lessons from the SD. I fail to believe any teen in school these days can't figure out how to direct Mom to open a message. If BM can send and open emails she can use OFW...she doesn't want to.

Orange County Ca's picture

As above. Refuse to communicate any other way EVEN if its something he wants to hear or good news.

If it isn't on The Wiz it doesn't exist.

Calypso1977's picture

i guess its annoying because BM is the one who pushed for two years to use it. fiance never wanted it because he didnt think it was necessary (text and email are free).

we've paid for the year, so what's done is done. but we wont re-up and if she tries to take him back to court over it he'll represent himself and produce the emails and texts that prove he used it and she said she couldnt figure it out.

Queencow's picture

Yup like others said - you continue to enable her by going outside yourself.
FYI - OUr BM tried to FIGHT it, lost - and after 18 months is now spewing Multiple weekly, yes WEEKLY messages about the system being a failure (OFW, Court appointed mediator) - any guesses who and where these messages are...

To Mediator. In OFW.

Ours is court ordered.

AmIWicked's picture

Our BM pulled the same shit. If OFW is court ordered, do NOT communicate any other way or you will be in contempt TOO. Let BM look like an incompetent idiot. You and your SO follow the court order.

Our BM put up a fight about it too. Made it difficult, wouldn't respond to questions, trade requests, made a fit about the whole thing.... BUT after three months,.... she is still using it! And the daily conflict has diminished greatly!

I hope you stick with it and hold to your guns.... and that your BM gives in to reason...

(Then again this mantra many of us repeat to each other daily.)

Calypso1977's picture

it was part of the amended parenting plan, but so many other things are not being followed in that amended parenting plan that the whole thing is a joke. BM and my fiance both pick and choose what they want to follow and no one seems to care.

Calypso1977's picture

yes, he has a very long history of being controlled and manipulated by this woman. i have encouraged him to see professional help on so many occasions but he refuses. he hates confrontation and BM knows this. after 20+ years together she knows full well eveyrhting that can get him worked up and what buttons to push.

i think part of it too is that he's happy she's even communicating at all with him. before the recent custody battle and BS "settlement" that resulted, he could never get responses or answres from BM about anything.