Didn't even list parter as SS' Father at doctor!
We finally got a hearing date, 30 Dec -- BM wants to move out of state (3 hour drive) and change our 50/50 custody of twin SS/SD5 to 70/30. Briefs we got from the lawyer last week, of course, include that she wants CS. BM is trying to get it moved sooner because she's due to deliver on Christmas and she wants to move by 15 Jan.
BM changed insurance on kids back in July and we found out when we needed to take kids to doctors -- SD got strep from kids at school, SS got an ear infection. Despite CO requirements that she immediately provide us with medical records and insurance cards, she won't and insists that a picture of them from her phone will suffice.
Well, I had to take SS to a doctor appointment today. (Follow-up that BM scheduled and she forgot about it.). I took a printout of the insurance card picture and the receptionist couldn't accept it because, gasp!, they need the whole card! I also found out while I was there that BM only had herself listed as the parental contact (no mention of my partner) and her husband (SS' SF) as the emergency contact.
I'm hoping something like this helps us in court. Not only do we have proof that she's not fulfilling he CO, she's not listing my partner as a parent. Additionally, she insists that she can take care of twins all by her lonesome yet how convenient it is that my partner and I are always there to pick up where she screws up.
Tell all of this to his
Tell all of this to his attorney and ask the court to admonish her and warn her that future violations can result in a fine or jail for failing to obey a court order. If you can prove it the court takes a very dim view of being ignored - our whole system depends on that.
But the attorney has to prove it or get her to admit it on the witness stand.
wrong post
wrong post
Your partner can ask for, and
Your partner can ask for, and should ask for a copy of that form. It helps to prove that BM is trying to limit and/or eliminate your partner from the lives of the children. If she is doing that when they have 50/50 what will she do if she is given the right to move them away? Go to their school, dentist, other doctors, daycare center, dance lessons, summer ball teams anywhere where enrollment forms need to be filled out. Check to see what information has been written and ask to see the forms. Make copies of all of these forms. He may need to take certified copies of the children's birth certificates with him to help prove he is the legal parent. She is giving you a gift. Be sure to use it! Keep us updated.
Do you and your son's father
Do you and your son's father have 50/50 custody?
How about when BM lists her
How about when BM lists her husband as the father on school/medical forms? DH has had to counter a lot of funny looks over the years because BM doesn't want to acknowledge him as BF. But she is certainly comfortable with using my insurance for her son's medical needs. Go figure!
If they only asked for one
If they only asked for one parental contact then I don't see where she was not including your SO as a parent. I don't have my ex listed as the first emergency contact on DD's paperwork, because he lives farther away than DH and I do, his schedule is crazy, and he doesn't have a cell phone so unless he is in his house, nobody can get in touch with him anway. Do you guys have 50/50?
BM and us (me and my partner)
BM and us (me and my partner) take kids to doctors, activities, school pretty equally. We always make sure that she's equally listed with my partner for everything. This particular doctor was an allergist, not the sort of thing that SS goes to very often. It just so happens that the two times he's gone, BM took him.
She filled out all the forms so that my partner wasn't on any of the paperwork. It was sort of awkward explaining that SS' SF is NOT his BD and that we have 50/50 custody. (I keep the CO handy because of junk like this.) The paperwork had two contacts for parents and another for emergency contacts. It was only her and get husband. She does the same thing with kids' school stuff, etc. It's frustrating. We live up to the CO as best we can and she falls short pretty often.
I understand the frustration
I understand the frustration with the insurance cards. We deal with almost the exact same issue with our BM.
But is your BM seriously CO'd to provide your partner's info to the doctor? That just seems extreme. I can see how she'd be responsible for providing the doctor's info to your partner .. but it's on him to make that contact directly if BM isn't facilitating it.
The extra contact thing is a
The extra contact thing is a little silly to me. As long as the person listed is responsible and can be reached to handle the affairs of the child, what does it matter? I don't think the ex's necessarily intend to exclude the other parent, or to hide/withhold information or access to records, they just don't go out of their way to provide the information.
We deal with the same crap with our BM. DH just follows up with all teachers and doctors and makes sure they have his info on file.
When BM moved to TX last year, she had a meltdown because I was listed as the emergency contact for day care and her name was removed. Why did DH do that? Because she was living 1600 miles away .. what exactly would she be able to do in the even of an emergency?
Problem is that she's trying
Problem is that she's trying to change 50/50 custody to 70/30. She is using doctor visits as "proof" that she's the only one "caring" for the kids. And yes, she's been CO'd to provide us with copies of everything. It's not to burden her or us, it's because each home equal cares for the kids and we each need the info. Earlier this year BM was out of town and kids' school needed copies of their immunizations. Because BM wouldn't give us a copy, we had to wait until she was back to give it over to the school. The records were late but they let it slide because of the situation. It might be a little example, but the point is that we all need the same info and she's withholding. It was a problem before and it was the court mediator that had the provision added -- not my partner. It was a reasonable solution to an ongoing problem.
We're gearing up to go back to court. This stuff matters to us right now. It's relevant to our case and we need everything we can get to help us out.
The doctor info might seem petty to some, but imagine (as I'm sure a lot of you already deal with this) dealing with this at every turn only to have it followed up with, "I'm moving out of state and taking the kids. I'm the better parent. See? I'm the one on all the doctor records." We follow up on everything, too. But nonetheless, this is stressful and unnecessary.