Volunteer at SS School - thoughts?
Hi. I just joined today and have never done this before so apologize if I get any of the abbreviations wrong. Gosh- I am recently remarried to a wonderful man with a not wonderful ex. She was completely distraught about their divorce even though during their marriage she was cruel to him (why he left). Since I've come into the picture (together for 2 years) it's been nasty with her. I'm the enemy. Were damaging the kids. Blah blah blah. All my other friends are still married happily in their 1st marriages so I have felt so alone and like I've happened upon this unique crazy situation. Reading the blogs here I see that I am not!!!! So thank you all to help me realize I am not alone..and also I am sorry for your difficulties.
Here is the question that led me to the site for answers. We have our ss (twin boys) 50/50. Overall, we get along great as a family. We have a lot of fun. They love their new SS (my daughter). We try really hard to treat everyone in the family as equals no step this and that. They go to school an hour away and 2 to 3 days a week either myself (sometimes husband) drive them back and forth. It's SO much driving!!! One solution we thought of was to volunteer in the boys classes one day to eliminate driving back and forth while they were in school. I was all set to go today and had it already set up with their teachers. I found out from the boys that there was also event at school and their mom would be there. Wanting to prevent a scene. I asked my husband to let her know I'd be at school working. She FREAKED! I had no right to work there. I am only his wife not their Mom. I need to get her permission. Blah blah blah. She went on to say "how pathetic I am that I can't understand how wrong what I am doing is. She's consulted all her friends and they all agree". So I started wondering....am I off base here? Should I step back and not attempt to do the same things for them that I do for my own daughter. Should I try and maintain a distinction? It's so hard to know what to do. I love the boys very much and want to help provide them with as normal and consistent childhood as possible. Thanks!