What would you do in this situation?
Would love all feedback on this particular issue:
I am sm of twin boys age 7. We have them 50/50 and just got through with a large chunk of time with them (some of which included Halloween). Both boys during their time here were having difficulty sleeping every night, either coming down to our bed, getting in to each other's bed or asking to sleep in the same room as their 4 year old ss. This was a change in behavior for the most part.
On Halloween the more open little guy lets it slip that they had watched the movie Scream over the past weekend. (If anyone hasn't seen the movie scream it's an r rated horror film about teens that kill each other. When I saw it when it first came out, I had to pause it a few times I found it so scary). They said their Mom and friend were watching it with them on their usual "movie night". Supposedly when the boys said it was too scary they refused to turn it off. They told us there mother swore them up and down not to tell us they had seen the movie. They then told us that the reason they'd be having a hard time sleeping was b/c they'd been having nightmares from the movie. They expressed regret for telling us and begged us not to say anything to their mother about the issue.
We can either:
1. Respect their wishes to not say anything to their Mom and just hope it doesn't happen again. Historically when my husband has tried to talk to her about these kind of issues (ex. last year they went to school with one of her explicit rap cds and were playing their favorite tracks to us and their little sister) she gets very defensive, turns it back on my husband and then later takes it out on the boys. It hasn't worked in the past to talk to her....but does that mean quit trying?
2. or we try to talk to her about it. Maybe if she knows that her actions in letting them watch a horror film resulted in a week of nightmares she'll think twice in the future. The down side to this is that she will most likely get angry with the boys for telling us and they may refrain from expressing to us concerns in the future. But maybe them telling us was a cry for help
I'm torn. I hate the thought of her taking things out on the boys (i.e. putting them in the middle). But I 100% do not agree with letting small children watch horror films and concerned what they will continue to be exposed to. Additionally, whatever they are exposed to eventually gets filtered down to my 4 year old and then I get questions from my ex where she's learning things when he and I are careful and in alliance on what she can and cannot see at this age. Also....it's common for her the BM if she knows we don't agree to something she tends to do it more just to spite my husband. It's so hard to know what to do......
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Thanks is advance for your input!