I'm in shock and heartbroken
I will try and make this short. I have 2 SD.
I had issues with the 20 year old but NOW I'm having even bigger issues with the 18 year old. She started college in the fall as a freshman. Her dad and I made every effort to see her as she was alone and gets anxiety. The hotel rooms aren't cheap and they cost about 200-300 per night. We got her an iPhone, paid for hotel rooms, bought her things at Walmart, and so many more things. I own a business and she asked me to sponsor her sorority. I spent 500.00 sponsoring it.
I thought everything was great until four days ago. She texted my husband and told him her sorority dues were due in 2 weeks and he needed to pay 900.00. She gave us no forewarning and my hubby told her no. I spoke to her the next day and she had a horrible attitude. She told me her dad is living the high life and we make 3-4 x the amount her mom and stepdad make. She told me I did not need to buy things on myself that wasn't necessary for example several tshirts that has her college name on it. She stated if we weren't able to do both, come down and pay for her sorority, she wants us to pay. It hurt my feelings and I feel like all of the time and money spent these last few weeks mean nothing. In my anger, I told her "fine. Ill give you your way and pay the 900.00 but that's it." I am so mad at myself for doing it.
I did confront her and didn't back down on that phone call. I may have even told her she was ungrateful. She called her mom crying and her mom called me.
She will not speak to me whatsoever even though I have done my best to forgive her. She is punishing me by not talking to me. I'm getting more furious as the days go on.
I've bent over backwards for these kids and have barely received any appreciation whatsoever.
So, here is where I am at. I don't want a close relationship with them anymore because I constantly get hurt. They are really nice to me when I give them money. I feel like they are greedy and do not care for me or their dad. He knows how bad they are but he can't accept it.
They are very unhealthy for me. I am depressed, heartbroken, angry, and resentful. I can't keep trying like I have been and get no appreciation back. Plus, I don't feel like its my responsibility to pay for these big expenses.
I want to just distance myself from them but I don't know how and is this the best thing to do? I want to be polite and kind but not open up my heart or my pocketbook. They know I make good money and they throw that up in my face. I can't take anymore. I have no kids of my own and I shouldn't be dealing with crap like this. Right now, I can't stand her. She is so self absorbed and feels entitled. She thinks everyone should give her whatever she wants. Again, I just can't take it anymore. I have had to take more anxiety pills this past week than I've taken in A year. Can't I just disengage/distance myself? Am I responsible to pay their expenses? I don't want to be a bit** but I have to do something. Please help!!!!!