Should I be responsible?
Here is my issue I have SD12, SS11, & SS7 the BM is always saying negative things about us. So the SC don’t want to be around me they tell my DH they don’t like being around me because of my rules. They have no rules don’t know the meaning of discipline and are the most disrespectful of any I have ever seen. They think love is when people buy them things OR take them places. And they just tear it up and don’t take care of it. I raised my BS’s to respect all and they only got new things at Christmas or Birthday’s. The IL’s spoil them just as all on the BM side of the family (THESE SC ARE ROYALTY) My DH agreed to pay her $500.00 per child a month in hopes of getting her back at the time. After we married he was struggling to make ends meet. Before we married I told him that I would not be responsible to pay CS that it’s not my responsibility unless he became ill and then I would. I am 46 and have 3BS 28,24,&21 I have raised my children and will be a parent for my SC however I will not be disrespected in our home. My SS12 has a smart mouth like you would not believe he tells my DH what to do ask why I can’t stay home when he comes to get them and he hates my rules so half the time they don’t come at all. A few months ago we decided that we would do a CS modification and the attorney said we should be paying around 900.00. Since that has happened the BM and the IL’s are furious! Mind you my DH is an only child. So now that I have become debt free from all my previous bills from my other marriage I told my DH I was going to buy me a new car. He has told me no I can’t because of what the SC, BM, & IL’s will say. They will say he has taken money from the kids and making them suffer but I can afford a new car. THIS IS NOT FAIR I work every day 5 days a week, the BM don’t work at all and has had another kid with another man, but still finds time to party, get her nails done, tan go to the beauty salon etc. I cut my own hair, do not tan, do my own nails and shop at thrift stores not because I have to but to save that money for the other things I may want. Now any time I want to buy anything or go somewhere I am NOT to tell the IL’s or the SC. Please help me this just doesn’t seem fair. I have raised mine and feel if I want a sports car (2 seater) I should be able to get it. DH says I should get something all 5 of us can fit in that I’m being selfish.
Selfish you can't buy
Selfish you can't buy yourself a car??? That is the most ridiculous thing I have heard. If you can afford it buy yourself as many cars as you want. Screw bm she is not this mans wife anymore. She recieves a fair child support, and maybe instead of hiding all this he could say to all of them "my wife saved her hard earned money and bought herself a car". Wow I would be pissed
just my opinion sorry you are dealing with this.
Pissed
Yes i am pissed but trying to be resonable too. We are planning a trip to six flags with my 3 adult boys and thier GF's and I can't tell his kids, I'm beginning to think they are ALL against me! She is very irresponsible so she will not ever get anywhere in life. (And I'm glad I can't stand her!)Thanks
Bullfeathers!
LIVE LOVE LAUGH
Barbie, as long as you are working and contributing to the household, be it money, raising the kids, or supporting the DH, you DESERVE to have what you want and if that's a 2 seater sports car, then by golly I'd go buy it. Your DH probably paid enough in c.s. over the years to buy everyone a new car, and since the attorney/courts have set the c.s. amount, then you are not taking money away from the kids; it appears their BM is the one doing that - go get your car, girlfriend! And be sure to post a pic of you in the driver's seat!
Thanks
You know thats why I needed another opinion I didnt feel like it was wrong so we will see. And if I do get my long deserved sports car I will post a picture. Thanks so much!
also they can't be nice to
also they can't be nice to you anyway so why would they want a ride in your car. Go with the sports car
Oh. HELL NO!
Let's get this straight:
*YOU raised your children
*YOU work FULL TIME and contribute to the marriage
*DHs ex is constantly bad-mouthing you
*DHs parents constantly spoil his children and have YOU under a microscope
*You work FT, 5 days a week, and yet his Ex sits around on her butt all day, collects his CS (probably views it as ALIMONY and her "hard-earned money" like our BM does) and had ANOTHER KID with her NEW HUSBAND!!
Am I missing anything here?
Man, Barbie, I'd be royally pissed off. And I'd start off with your DH!!
And I'll tell you why. DHs children are NOT YOUR financial responsibility. And I don't care HOW much money you wanted to spend on yourself. DH is buying into THEIR GUILT and making you feel like a second class citizen- and there's NO WAY I'd put up with that!
I'd go out and buy that sports car. Make it a convertible. And make sure you drive it EVERY TIME that POS BM comes around! And do not let DH, or BM or his parents make you feel guilty or inferior or second-class one day longer!
You might be wife #2, but you should be PRIORITY #1 in DHs life.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
Just had to say this.....YOU
Just had to say this.....YOU ARE FREAKING GORGEOUS!!!!
Buy your sportscar and enjoy the life and the luxuries that you have earned for yourself!! If BM needs money to pay for her crap, she needs to get a job.
thanks
That's really sweet I appreciate your kind words. Guess I'm a little jealous that you have a good relationship with your sc. Good luck on your decision with ur bf.
HELLO
go buy that car tonight!!!!! i have made it perfectly clear that i am not finacnially responsible for skids at all..... you're a sweety --- if my dh got sick and couldn't work FFC (bm) wouldn't get a penny from me ---- NADA........ get a new outfit to match your new car, too........ new pink & whites on the nails would look awesome in a new car!!! sport some new strappy sandals with your fresh french pedicure...
is DH too embarrassed to admit you work and pay your way ---- any where near my situation, DH couldn't afford all the expenses FFC and mil put on him for ass gnats....
i can't wait to hear about your new wheels..
Funny as Hell!
Wow I like your attitude i can't quit laughing, oh yea and I forgot to mention the BM new husband has already kicked her lazy butt out and she is living rent free in her mothers extra house how convenient dont you feel sorry for her? Thanks so much this is really lifting my spirits and making me feel like I was right after all.
I got a sports car!
A two seater convertible. Skids can't ride in it because I can't find the button to turn off the airbag on the passenger seat. Where, oh where could that button be?
I keep my money separate, and split the household expenses right down the middle with DH. He's happy, I'm happy!
Do it.
Ignore the in-laws and hubby they're looking out for their blood line.
You look out for your blood line starting with you.
*********************
There's an exception to everything I say.
Thanks
Thanks Crystal I do really feel I deserve it, the question is now that DH threw such a fit about it I'm thinking about holding off to make sure that everything works out. I am debt free right now which feels good and it would be nice if we went our seperate ways to not owe for anything. I hope that dont happen because I love him very much BUT time is running out for me. I cant put up with this much longer. I truly believe in disipline and these SC need it so bad! But the DH will NOT do it. Have a good day