You are here

33 Year Fit - sorry so long!

ownedbypedro's picture

Just getting yet another thing out of my system - hope it's okay - cheaper than therapy.

Some of you may know that my (soon to be ex - I LOVE typing that!) dh bought my skid and his wife a house AGAINST MY WISHES and better judgement a few years back.

Skid had been nagging daaaaadddddyyyyy to buy him a house for YEARS. One day, about 6 years ago, we were having a "family thing" at our house. Other ss (who I LOVE) and his wife and kids were visiting from out of state, both of "our" kids were there, everyone having a nice time.

Skid (drama freak that he is) said to dh that he needed to talk to him outside about something important. Of course it was another whining session about why dh JUST HAD TO buy them a house. Basically, dh told skid that I was against it so he couldn't do it but that he would "work on it and see what we can do."

That wasn't good enough for the CHUCKLE HEAD and he got FURIOUS - accused his dad of putting ME FIRST (ummmmmmm, yeah...what would be wrong with that???) and put his family in his (paid for by dh) vehicle, ranting and raving the whole time. Told his father that if he EVER wanted them to speak to him again or if he EVER wanted to see his grandchildren again - he would have to buy them a house. (I'm not making this up folks - I WISH I was!).

Then he peeled out of the driveway, burning rubber and kicking up stones. OMG! So I said to my older ss (the one I LOVE) that I was sorry his brother left because of me. SS replied that it was NOT me that made his brother leave, he left of his own free will and I should not apologize (see why I LOVE him? He's "normal.")

Folks I had gotten all the information for skid and his wife about a program we have locally that helps low income people purchase homes. You go to classes, get help with cleaning up your credit, and the program GIVES YOU $4 FOR EVERY $1 YOU SAVE TOWARD A DOWN PAYMENT!!! I wanted skid and his wife to go through the program so they could say they DID IT and have something to be PROUD of.

Anyway, not to make a long story longer - I ended up moving out about a year later and then DH bought them a house with MARITAL MONEY. My lawyer told me that I could have gone to court and a judge would have seen red over that one - but you know what? I don't even f'n care anymore - so I didn't.

DH actually told me that "no son of mine has to sit though those classes when I'm capable of helping him." DEFINE cabable buster becuase you have MAJOR debts of your own that aren't paid. Just another example of his guilty parenting - taken to the extreme.

ownedbypedro's picture

Nah, it's already a done deal. What I "got" was everything I asked for:

1. that OUR son & his wife got to purchase our house (where my son was raised) for about HALF of what we could have sold it for (take THAT dh!!) and

2. he has to keep MY parents on HIS cell phone plan forEVER -- even if he gets married again (which he is already planning). Toooooooo freekin funny if you ask me.

I was LUCKY to be able to keep my personal debts (student loan, house, car - and not have to pay any of his (over $70,000 in credit cards alone) - so basically even tho it LOOKS LIKE I didn't get anything I really walked away in good shape. The wrong judge could have made half of his debts MY responsibility - legally.

My lawyer crunched a lot of numbers - BEST case, had we gone to court, I could have gotten over $3,000 a month in alimony for EIGHT years - but that was best case and I was SCARED TO DEATH of getting stuck with half of that $70K debt - NOOOOOO thank you!!

ownedbypedro's picture

MEEEEEEE TOOOOOO!!! And so glad to be out without being stuck with half of his damn debt!! When people say "but you didn't get anything" I think "OH YES, I DID!!!"

ownedbypedro's picture

LOL...yep, his "widdow buddy", lol. They are welcome to each other, I am just HAPPY to be DONE!

ownedbypedro's picture

Nope, too late. See my reply to StepASide. I didn't want to go to court and fight about stuff because of OUR kids - AND...(again, see above) I got everything I asked for. Smile

ownedbypedro's picture

lol - I hear you! My lawyer and I discussed all possible outcomes and the gamble of getting stuck with half of his debt was not worth going for anything (to me anyway).

Plus, and most important - our kids are adults but why put them through it? They still have the right to love and respect both of their parents without all of the drama. (my dh's lawyer even said he had to hand it to me for that one and he really respected me for it).

ownedbypedro's picture

You said it! Some (like my mother) would say that I "gave up a lot". I disagree. I gave up "stuff" and got wonderful things that money can't buy.