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O/T (kinda) Wish I could get pregnant

MadeMyBed's picture

So long story short, DH and I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. BM literally had his balls when she (basically) forced him to get a vasectomy. 4 years ago, after we got married, he had it reversed. Since then he has had bad results with low sperm counts. Drs. say it is still enough to get pregnant. Just not happening and its depressing- Im not getting any younger! I get so frustrated sometimes. When I am fighting with DH about the SSs sometimes I say "at least YOU have YOUR kids!" and say he was whipped by BM. sucks Sad

SillyGilly's picture

We are flying to TX next Monday because my DH is having his vascetomy reversed. I know how you feel. He is ok either way if we have kids or not. I don't have any and would like to. I hate that she got to have kids. Sad

MadeMyBed's picture

me too, its really hard. Its not the way I envisioned my life. DH would like to have another- esp. a girl since he has 2 sons. He is such a good dad too.

Anyone have any success stories??

amybeth33's picture

How much does it cost to reverse and do the doctors say how successful it is?

StillSearching's picture

It is costing my BF and I $6000 for his reversal. Depending on the age of both involved, how long it was since the vasectomy, and how the surgery goes then that says how successful comes into play. When I look online my BF and I have like a 50% chance of having a child, bummer statistics but maybe a miracle will happen.

MadeMyBed's picture

Our was over 4 years ago but I think it was around $4500. DH's sperm analysis was not good afterwards but more recent ones have been better. Doctor says its enough to get someone pregnant at least.....

MadeMyBed's picture

Im worried that, since adoption is such an intensive process, we wont be "awarded" a child based on BM's actions. Let me explain: BM was allowed to remove SSs from the state due to lying to the court, etc. Long story. How is that going to look to an adoption agency? Bad that DH "lost" his kids? anyone know?
and the expense?

Cdngirl's picture

I know how you feel, DH had a vasectomy at 25yrs old right after ex had their only child together. Ex claimed that she didn't want anymore and DH being a naive smuck agreed to get it done. Anyways fast forward 5 years later, they divorce; DH and I meet and ex is pregant with her then bf child. So DH and I decide to have his vasectomy reversed, just prior to our wedding. Two weeks before our wedding found out that DH has no sperm count. Therefore no children in our future. I vented to DH about what a fucken bitch his ex was and how stupid he was. This was a one time thing right after he told me. About a year after that SD came to live with us full time. At present I have fluctuating moods about this. There are times when I feel, I can't have my own child so why should I have to raise someone elses. It is almost like grieving for the child I will never be able to have. There are other times when everything is fine.
I wish my story was a positive for you but not so, however I do have a friend who's DH (she is also a second wife) went through a reversal and they had trouble. Her doctor told her to relax have some fun and try not to thing about it. When she was able to have some peace in her life (skids moved away) she was pregnant within a couple of months. Good luck and until it happens have fun trying.

Stpma's picture

DH and I tried for 3 years (no vas) and we went to a fertility seminar and found out a baby costs $20,000. So we pretty much gave up right there... Little did I know we were either preg at the time of seminar, or, shortly thereafter. We were both taking herbal supplements at the time, coulda been that. I always like to think that we both gave up and resumed a more normal relaxed sex life and that is what did it.
keep tryin Smile

MadeMyBed's picture

ugh, still going back and forth on this issue in my mind. On one hand I like my freedom and we really cant afford a child. On the other hand sometimes I'll be watching a show where someone is pregnant and I get upset. I want to have a choice in the matter at least! I think Im going to talk with DH and ask him if we can look into some options. Problem is they're so expensive......and insurance wont cover it due to DH's low sperm count being a result of his vasectomy reversal. Some days Im so sad Sad

StillSearching's picture

MadeMyBed my BF had a vasectomy done when he was 27 and he is now 41. Our planned reversal surgery is this May. I know exactly how you feel. I am scared that he will not be able to give me a child and as I get older I have the "baby blues." And the fact that his 2 kids know he can't have anymore and the daughter is a bitch to me makes me want one even more. I know one success story and the man is my BFs age and he married a younger women and they got pregnany a year after he had the reversal. It scares me though and I told him if he can't give me a child then I would have to rethink the relationship. I am only 25 and don't want to miss out on having one of my own and putting up with his for the rest of my life.

StillSearching's picture

Thank you for that story alwaysventing, my friend is considering doing that. I really hope that I too can have a baby with my BF one day, I am still praying the reversal is a success but you never know.

MadeMyBed's picture

I have casually looked into it myself, but not with a doctor. I also think it would be a good idea. DH IS making more sperm according to his doctor. His doctor also said it is enough for me to get pregnant. We have been trying the "natural" way for 4 years though.....I think now that I am in my 30s we need a little help!
Its weird too, also going through the whole business with the precancerous cells on my cervix has really made me want to ramp this up. I mean, what if something drastic had to be done, i.e. cervix removed? It really put everything in perspective for me and even though we really cannot afford a baby, I want one :?

StillSearching's picture

I would try anything you could! I know from your blogs money is tight but if you really want to have a child then I would try everything. I really hope it works out for you financially and with the baby! My BF has his surgery this June and I am trying to be hopeful so I can't imagine what you are going through after 4 years!

MadeMyBed's picture

Oh, by the way, we have been trying this week and, according to the ovulation caluculator, IF we were to get pregnant, the due date would be 11/11/11! how cool! Dirol

newsm2011's picture

I know exactly how you feel. My husband had a vasectomy and I was terrified when we got married if his reversal would be successful. Well it was quite some time and we finally got pregnant. Oh, and I had part of my cervix removed and everything due to cervical cancer. So stay positive it can happen and it will happen. Just hang in there. Look at other options as well. We actually got pregnant by doing TESE Testicular Spern Extraction and having it implanted by intracytoplasmic sperm injection (insemination) from his sperm being extracted and implanted into me. It was expensive but wekk worth it. Good Luck!!!!