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Anyone else?

MadeMyBed's picture

Anyone else have a BM who screams and rants and bitches to anyone who will listen (and wont) that DH is a deadbeat, doesnt pay a dime, etc. and THEN doesnt live up to HER obligations?

She is so delusional! We have orders against her that she has to provide certain info each year prior to April 1st. Guess what? We never got anything-big surprise! And everytime we bring it up she says something like "you owe me money". Um, psycho, we have a COURT ORDER stating you have to do this! So what happens next? DH has to call his attorney, draft a complaint, have it served, wait for service, schedule a court date and pay $1000 just for BM to actually do what she IS SUPPOSED TO DO a day before the court date.

what a crazy biatch!!!

Stick's picture

MadeMyBed - This hits such a nerve with me!!

When BM and DH had 50/50 custody - BM and her family used to insinuate the DH was a "deadbeat" because he didn't give her enough money out of his check. It wasn't that he didn't pay.... it was that she felt it wasn't enough - and it was more than he would have been court ordered to pay at time.

Well, go forward a few years, and SD comes to live with DH and I. We have SD full time - she sees her mom maybe 1 or 2 x a month. BM has signed an agreement to pay child support - at a reduced amount. DH had given her a clause that she could pay him all of her back-owed child support and some other money that she owes him BY May 1st of this year. NOT ON May 1st. BY May 1st. So what does BM do? Not pay any child support. She does give us a check for half of SD's insurance, and she just finally gave us a check to get caught up on extra-curricular things (since she had reduced cs, she agreed to pay 1/2 health insurance and 1/2 extra curriculars... dummy - it comes out to the same as cs every month if she would have just thought about it... ! ! I digress...)

Anyway - she has gone months at a time only paying 1/2 of SD's health insurance and NOTHING more, and has the nerve to just very recently say that DH was a deadbeat. I LOST IT on her! I even wrote a blog about it, I was so pissed off....

UGH!! Yeah, she's crazy. And May 1st is approaching. Do you think we will have to go to court to enforce? Sad

I hear ya...

MadeMyBed's picture

the deflating thing about court (and believe me, we might have been there more times than anyone on here) is that there are NO REPRECUSSIONS for Bm not following court orders! Even being incontempt is no gurantee you can recoup your attorneys fees. AND if DH has to call his lawyer, draft a complaint, serve it, etc, etc then its all on him because the day before we have to go to court BM will actually send something. But she knows he has to come after her (and spend money to do so) and so she doesnt do anything unless faced with explaining to a judge why she didnt.

skylarksms's picture

That is what is so discouraging to me as well.

We went into court with probably 20-30 instances of BM's visitation interference (i.e., not having SD come for CO visitations - for various reasons, including reasons that I found out were lies). We thought we had her ass NAILED.

All she got was an order from the judge to pay NN a Contempt fine of $500 within 30 days. Which of course, she did NOT. So we just withheld the money from the piles of medical bills she sends 4x a year for the (healthy) skids.

Most people say to take BM back to court every time she violates the CO. I don't know if we would have enough money left to EAT if we did that!!

BUT - she did quit taking NN to court constantly after SHE got the Contempt fine! So I guess it did SOME good. Oh, and she started making SD come for visitation - at least for about 3 months...

Kes's picture

Oh yes - I've been there many times. When I was first with DH, about 9 years ago, my 2 SDs were little, and kept coming over to us with unbrushed hair, crumpled, dirty clothes and looking as if they needed a good scrub. I was embarassed to go out with them until I had a chance to smarten them up in case people thought they were mine and I was neglecting them. Needless to say BM had a responsible job in the Health Service and plenty of time to spruce herself up.

She had the temerity to complain she had too little money, when DH pays her £2000 a month ($3200) and the fees for the girls private school - and stand on our doorstep yelling about how he was not meeting his obligations. Hmmm...