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How do you prove co-habitation?

Cinders's picture

I am after some help with regards to co-habiting.

My partner went to court upon seperating from his partner and it was agreed that he would have to pay maintenance for the 2 children, this amount equalled the mortgage so WE have been paying this.

This was supposed to stay this way until the youngest child left full time education which is another 7 years or when his ex co-habited with a new partner for 6 months or more.

Well she has been living with someone since Feb last year, we both a random times during the night etc went to the house and he is always there. We went via that way on the way to work and on the way home and he is always there. He is sat there in his pyjamas when my partner takes the children home, they go on holiday together, write joint christmas cards and are now engaged!

Our previous solicitor wrote to her explaining the situation and she said no he is not living there he has his own property somewhere else.

So we have now got a new solicitor who is saying we need PI to stake out for two weeks and a neighbour who is willing to go to court so state that he lives there!

What else can we do, i have recently lost my job and we are struggling to pay there mortgage and ours and they are living rent free.

Please can you give me some advice.


Cinders x

Orange County Ca's picture

I'm afraid you're solicitor is basically right but it doesn't have to be someone who is paid. If you can get a friend to do the deed it would be a lot cheaper. But they need to be professional about the whole thing. His ex has a lot of incentive to lie and be evasive.

Another alternative is to go ahead and sue her. Make the accusation and make her prove he has another residence.

Also do a analysis of what a PI will cost compared to paying the mortgage all those years but be careful here. You may end up paying the PI AND the mortgage if you lose the fight.


There's an exception to everything I say.

sparky's picture

Document everything and get lots of pics. You need pics of his car parked there 4 am and 12am on different days. Also send a letter to the house addressed to him and send it so only he can sign for it.

Anybody can do the job that is willing to testify. See if he has changed his license address, mailing address and if he has a property in his name

Cinders's picture

Thanks for you comments guys, most helpful.

We have noted down times etc but you think its worth taking pics too?

The letter to the house is a great idea only can it be traced back to us and what sort of letter could we send!

Do you know how we would find out where he is registered such as his driving licence and vehicle documents etc - i don't know where we would find this information.

We do think he has a property as he seperated from his wife and we believe he bought a house and now it is rented out. we know the village it is in but do not know which house it is?

Gana's picture

If he gets mail there he lives there. You might be able to have someone follow him one day to see where he goes and if you do a records check through an investigator or even on line not expense and they will give you a listing of all addresses of where he lives and you will be able to find out if he still lives there or gets mail at her residence. Again, if he gets mail there he lives there.

Cinders's picture

So you can check someone out on the net then can you? I guess you can do this from council records or something like can you?

Gana's picture

I think the website is and not sure what you have to do but google it. Sometime like records check and you should be able to locate their address. Hope this help.. Let me know.