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Met someone's DH and his 'adult' child the other day

AlreadyGone's picture

Proof that these horrible step-situations are more common than we know! LOL. :O

I was at a hockey game with some friends and had the misfortune of being seated next to a Bio-Dad and his adult child. The kidult looked to be about 30 or so and was clearly enjoying the game with dear old dad. The beer was flowing so these people felt the need to chat us up. :sick: First off, the kidult seemed to be very immature (based on the amount of baby talk between them) and was hanging all over 'daddy.' Especially when the kidult wanted something, (food items, beer, fan memorabilia, etc.) After explaining that we were new to the sport (my friend got tickets from her brother) the BD began explaining all the terminology. Very nice and all. My friend was taking some pictures and the kidult asked if she would send a few to the BD's phone. Right away the BD states, 'no, we can't do that because 'mom' wouldn't understand.' Then the BD explains that his wife didn't know they were at the game. Apparently, they played hooky from work to see the game. I asked if his wife disliked hockey and the kidult chimed in that 'she wasn't allowed to come because she isn't the 'real' mother. The BD then steps in to say that his wife doesn't understand his special relationship with his kidult and would be upset if she knew. I wasn't sure if I had the story straight, so I reiterated what was said and sure enough.... SM didn't know that DH had skipped work to catch a game with kidult. The BD went on to say that his wife was a wonderful person but, the kidult preferred to go to such outings alone with 'daddy.' As a matter of fact, "SM loves hockey and the tickets were HERS but, she was stuck at work and couldn't go to the game." The BD was supposed to give the tickets to a friend but decided (in his kidult induced haze) to use them himself. OMG!!!!!!!!

These frigging men!!!!!!!

No matter where I go, I can't seem to ever totally escape Step-Hell (even if it's someone else's) }:)


Peridwen's picture

Honestly, I probably would have lost my cool and started lecturing the BD on appropriate husband behavior. Especially with a few beers in me. How did you manage not to dump a drink over his head?

AlreadyGone's picture

You know, I really wanted to unload on him. I think the only reason why I didn't was because I wasn't drinking, lol. Wink

My friend did tell him that what he did was a 'd*ck move, and if it were her, she'd divorce his a$$. He kind of got quiet after that, and we did our best to ignore him, we even left early. Hocky and lying a$$ Disney dads = not our cup of tea!

moeilijk's picture

I couldn't tell from your report - was the kidult male or female? I have a guess, only because the alternative is even creepier... but I need the facts, ma'am.

LikeMinded's picture

I assumed a daughter, but my SS hangs on his dad and calls him Dadddeee and asks for stuff... ick

AlreadyGone's picture

Ya know... I purposely didn't say whether it was male or female because sometimes the behavior is seen as less creepy depending on the sex of the kidult, lmao. I'm going to wait for a bit to see how this thread plays out before I let that cat out of the bag, lol. Wink I promise! Smile

notasm3's picture

If it was a daughter I'd have been all "Dude quit trying to pull one over on us. This is your piece on the side. Cute little sexy thing that you are banging. Don't try to pretend this is your daughter. No daughter would hang all over you like she's doing. You two just need to get a room."

Maybe just maybe he'd be grossed out. But then again if he was truly a creep he might have gotten off on that.

Peridwen's picture

Since we don't know all the details, it's possible the wife is controlling. But the son/daughter comment of "[SM] wasn't allowed to come because she isn't the 'real' mother" strikes me the wrong way. If the kid has said "SM doesn't like us doing this together" or "We had to lie because SM wouldn't have allowed it" I might have interpreted the event as a controlling wife. But the actual way it was phrased leads me to believe Daddy and Kid are the problem, not the wife. That may be me looking through my Never Ever Lie to your Spouse glasses, though.

I'm definitely pro-Quality-One-on-One time for parents and kids. I encourage DH to take one-on-one time with all of his kids. I like to have one-on-one time with my boys also so we schedule it with each other.

AlreadyGone's picture

Wow! The wife must be controlling??? Not how I took that little exchange at all, and I was actually there, lmao!

The statement by the ADULT SK, the fact that DH skipped work without telling the wife, the fact that THEY were actively working together to keep a secret from HER (omission IS a lie) and the statement that his wife is a wonderful woman..... all lead me to believe that DH should stand for DICK HUSBAND and not Dear Husband. }:)

Of course I'm sure that 'some' people will label the SM as the problem child here. Not the fact that a 30 something ADULT was acting like a diaper wearing toddler (in public, no less) and the BD was totally A-OK with that. :sick:

For the record, if any 'self-respecting' mother (bio OR step) didn't have a problem with the entire scenario I witnessed, I'd wonder what her malfunction was. Really don't know how anyone could blame the SM, when clearly the husband is a cowardly, kidult-centric, lying POS. Then again, it's always the SM's inability to allow the father- child bond that creates the issues in the marriage. Right? Not the enabling, helo-parent who refuses to teach their kidults how to grow the hell up, and show some damn respect. Ummm, OK! (sic)

Hoping that you're just playing devil's advocate, otherwise I'm going to have to check your credentials, LOL! Wink

AlreadyGone's picture

'The fact remains that the dad should be allowed to have a relationship with his child. Sm can do her own thing. She doesn't have to be involved in their relationship. Dad should not have to hide taking his kid to a hockey game. That to me is controlling.'

You're assuming an awful lot here.

Do we know that the SM doesn't allow them to have a relationship? Nope.

Do we know that DH lied to his wife? Yes.

Do we know that he lied b/c she's controlling? Nope.

He stated that SHE was a wonderful woman.

My problem is this... He lied. He made his KIDULT, not only a party to that lie, but also, set up a situation where Kidult feels that it's peachy keen to disrespect his wife. I'm betting by Juniors statement, it's not the first time. This IS the problem in many (if not most) of these bad step scenarios. Does he lie b/c she's controlling or is she controlling b/c he lies? You always assume the former. Why? Why in your world, is the SM always the problem? Because it happens in your actual world? You can't just project your experiences in to EVERY SM issue. It's a bad double standard.

So, Kidult was a 30 something MALE. Or should I say MAN-CHILD. DH should spend every second he can with his kidult teaching him to grow the hell up and stop acting like a big baby. Very unattractive and very creepy! :sick:

AlreadyGone's picture

'If it is a skidult, the comment the skid made about stepmom, seems to me like an awkward statement/joke'

He seemed quite serious but, I was surprised that he didn't stick out his tongue. I mean he acted like a toddler damn near the whole time. Totally gross!