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So sick of SKIDS coming to our home, and trying to control it!!!

Mrs. Why's picture

Submitted by Mrs. Why on Mon, 07/08/2013 - 8:27am

They walk in the door, and it begins. Our home was, just moments ago, peaceful, clean, DH was in a great mood, I was enjoying my coffee. Then..... THEY come storming through the house!!!

I WANT, I NEED, GIVE ME, DO for me.... Trying to take over our room, ripping through our cupboards like they haven't eaten in days, dragging dirt into the house, following DH around until he is ready to lose it... Arguing, being disrespectful, telling DH what he is gonna do, and how he is gonna give them their way.

He will put his foot down, but, they just escalate.... It will last ALL day. "Dad, take us swimming," DH responds, "No," and, following his simple "no," is a day long argument and hounding about swimming. He won't give in, he sends them to their room, they come down again.... "We want to go swimming," argue argue argue, ALL day.... Then, the first thing on their lips the next morning.... "Dad, take us swimming!!!!"

This is just ONE example.... It's like this with everything. They walk into our home, and turn our peace into a non-stop, days on end, stressful situation.

I'm sick of it, and have gone to the extreme with personally disengaging.... But, I still have to listen to it!!!!

Short of sending them to BM, and not having them back in our home until they can act like they have some sense (which they aren't gonna get from BM), I don't know what to do anymore. I am so done with havin our home over run!

Comments

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Mon, 07/08/2013 - 8:51am

Nothing says you have to stay when they are there. When SD17 was a PIA like this with DH, I was in my room or at the gym or shopping. Anywhere I could be to avoid her. I suggest you do the same.

Mrs. Why's picture

Submitted by Mrs. Why on Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:38pm

I try to stay away or out of the way as much as possible, but I can see the hurt in my husbands eyes, like, "you don't like my children??"

I have tried to explain that I just don't want to deal with behaviors I don't condone.

=\ I know I have the right NOT to deal with it, but I do feel guilty taking off or disappearing whenever they are around.

overwhelmed_4's picture

Submitted by overwhelmed_4 on Mon, 07/08/2013 - 9:01am

Do you have bio kids? I ask because as well behaved as my bios are they can act like that too. My skids do it as well and it's like nails on a chalk board! It feels like they do it more, but they probably don't I'm just more patient with my own. In summer I have come to realize that I do need to find more stuff for them to do. Even if it's just a quick water balloon fight out back. Taking that extra 30min out of my day saves us from a day full of "I'm bored! What are we going to do?". I have had scavenger hunts inside the house with little prizes, had an epic fort building contest (I had to get over my living room being a mess telling myself making memories was worth it) and sat down to write stories with all the kids. Granted we don't do something every day and I do often tell them to use their imagination. I didn't have kids so I could be a constant entertainer and I remember the standard answer when I was growing up was to go play outside. The constant asking is annoying but I've found if I do something small before they even ask then the whole day goes much more smooth.
Edit: I guess it also depends on how old the kids are.

Mrs. Why's picture

Submitted by Mrs. Why on Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:41pm

I am not home with them during the day, I don't have bio kids yet, I'm pregnant now, though.

I guess, I am just of the opinion it's not a parent or step parents job to entertain children. And, the more they push for us to do so, the less I want to do anything for them. When I do decide to do activities or take them places etc, tey aren't greatful and always expect more.

Mrs. Why's picture

Submitted by Mrs. Why on Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:42pm

I agree 100%, it's very difficult though, when only ONE of the four adults raising them believes they should have rules and consequences and won't allow them to run everything.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Mon, 07/08/2013 - 11:49am

^^^^^^^this^^^^^^^^^

I do not understand why today's parents feel it's necessary to justify or explain their decisions to their kids.

If I was dumb enough to questions my parents, I got into trouble. End.Of.Story.

Mrs. Why's picture

Submitted by Mrs. Why on Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:55pm

I agree!!! This is my problem!!! They both KNOW better than to try to argue their way into getting what they want from me.

I am just sick of listening to it, and then being expected to deal with behaviors I dont condone.

Just hearing it is like nails on a chalk board!!!! The idea of our home having this level of an energy drain when the baby gets here, pisses me off. Most of all, I do not want MY child influenced by or having to live with the chaos of it. I swear, if I have to, I will leave with the baby every time if this behavior is going to continue

Mrs. Why's picture

Submitted by Mrs. Why on Mon, 07/08/2013 - 12:57pm

OMG!!!! Exactly, who is the adult and who is the child? He got mad at your for not allowing his child to control you!! B.S.

It's been goin on since they were young, I promise, it doesn't get better!