I'd like to get the opinion of others on 2 seperate scenarios. I have decided I am completely disengaging with SD21. Recently, I came across text with SD21 and DH where she is already giving her bday requests, mind you her bday is months away. She wants him to buy her tickets and get her a room for a popular party city. I find it hilarious at 21 an adult is still listing her specific bday requests especially being she has a child. I feel that as adults "celebrating" a bday doesnt really make sense.
We had decided last bday that SD get 100 dollars, he went behind my back and gave her 200. I know he gives her money behind my back.
My question is do you include that stuff in disengaging, I have no concrete proof that he has given her money, I just know him and how he is. Does your adult SK's have bday lists, do you leave DH to give prince or princess whatever their heart desires? Do you say anything about DH giving money when SK's ask or do you just let it all go.
We both work, pool our money together. I am disengaged, not paying any mind to SD anymore, just need some advice on how others handle situations such as these.