Internet security and pregnant SD... Not together, though. :D
Two things. One: Internet security. Two: This baby thing is going to kill me. Or at least irritate me.
One. I am incredibly careful with my internet presence and the security I feel I need to protect my identity IRL. First, I think it just makes good business sense, Second, and most importantly, my XH is a looney tune. He was abusive throughout our marriage, starting with emotional and verbal abuse, and it became physical abuse as well. Matter of fact, our marriage imploded when he threatened to kill me, with loaded gun aimed at my head less than a foot away. He’s a nutter, fer shore. Not only is he violent, but he’s been fond of stalking me as well. He “left” the last time about a year ago, but I say “left” because he’s never really gone.
He’s sent packages to my office, AFTER it changed locations and became a satellite office. You can’t get the info by calling and asking for the corporate address. We received no mail at that location, either. He has called my home number, that has also changed, and is unpublished. Not only that, the phone bill isn’t even in my legal name. He’s sent messages on FB asking me if I “like my new house” (how did he know I moved??) and if I like my new car (how did he know I bought a new car??)
Additionally, he has threatened to kill my DH, in *graphic* detail. He left nothing to the imagination.
I can assure any and all posters here, my online identity is safe. I have not been “outted,” and my privacy remains secure. Any claims to the contrary are simply wrong. I may not be the Devil, but I’m certainly no Angel.
Two. SD’s pregnancy is irritating me. She’s, I SWEAR, treating pregnancy like a disability. The whining and moaning is ridiculous, and I *can’t wait* until the real discomfort kicks in.
Mix in the fact that DH and SD are speaking frequently, and I’m weirded out. This is the same chick who refused to even speak to her father for something like a year. Now, it’s texts and FB chats every other day. Why is she being so nice?? He hasn’t sent her much in the way of money (yet) so I don’t know if she’s still “hoping” or what. Maybe she’s really turned over a new leaf, but I am having a hard time believing that.
It also seems that we will likely now be making a trip to SD’s area (our old are) when she births the squirt. Or squirts the birth. Or…whatever. We moved away from SD’s area a few months back. I had mentioned that *maybe* we could go back there when the kids get out of school as a graduation gift to my DS18. (To see all of his old friends graduate.) Welllll, seems graduation coincides with SD’s due date. PERFECT. Now, DH is talking all about our “summer vacation” to this area.
HUH?? I think I missed a step. Or five.
SIGH.
Carry on, Steptalkers.
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I can't find the bastard to
I can't find the bastard to serve him... FB is the *only* way he can reach me. Everything else has been blocked. I don't want him to ever tell the kids that he wanted to be in their lives but *I* made it impossible.
The thing about the trip... we'd probably drive. So, 20+ hours of listening to DH go on and on about SD and her baby, and how responsible she is might just make me carsick.
Oh I understand about the
Oh I understand about the stalking ex. Mine however is harmless. Annoying but never threatening. I have literally moved thousands of miles across the country and the moment my new phone was hooked up have received a call from him.
He knows where I am. He does not wish to harm me - he just desperately wants to spend time with me in spite of being married to another woman for 40 years. asshole.
As for the pregnant skid - my advice is to put her on major ignore status. Tell your DH is as kind a way as possible that you have no interest in discussing her "issues". Tell him that you have been pregnant more than once yourself and it is boring as hell to hear about someone else's pregnancy.
And oh joy about going for the visit. I think it would be "best" if you gave them all alot of privacy and didn't go to the hospital. You know "for their sake".
And I'll tell you what I tell everyone else whose questionable SD produces a crotch dropping - do not bond with this baby. She will use it as a tool to hurt you. It is not the baby's fault - but an evil SD will use the child as a scalpel to cut your heart out.
That's what I'm most fearful
That's what I'm most fearful of... the SD is using this to reel DH in and then stomp on his heart.
should be interesting if we're up there when she births... she lives with BM, so... BM (fortunately) wants nothing to do with me. We have no interaction. Matter of fact, she and DH have no interaction. I think *maybe* two emails in the last year.
Works for me!
UGH. I just DO NOT want to see BM, her family, and my ILs. Blech.
I like the idea of "giving them space...for their sake." I'm going to store that one away for future use!
(No subject)
I'm glad to hear you weren't
I'm glad to hear you weren't outed SAF. I may not always agree with you, but I value your opinions on this board.
I hope the whining stops, but like you already said, it will probably get worse when she gets a real taste of pregnancy.
I don't know if you're a wine person, but I lift my glass to your patience.
I prefer vodka. Wine makes me
I prefer vodka. Wine makes me flushed.
Mmmmmmmm Ketel One vodka
Mmmmmmmm Ketel One vodka martini.....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I'm missing something here
I'm missing something here about outing and attacks.
I totally feel for you on the
I totally feel for you on the stalker thing. I have an old boyfriend i dated about 2 yrs ago before i met my DH. Every. & i do mean every time i move or get a new phone # he finds me. He still holds hope that someday we will be together again. He seems harmless & more like still holding the torch if you know what i mean. Ive figured out that he finds info from my Drs or hospitals ive been to or what not. He works for the IT Company that does the computer systems for a large healthcare company here in the city. Its many many Drs offices & 3 of the 4 hospitals we have here.
When my Dad was sick with cancer & had an MRI test done- he showed up & came to the waiting area where i was!!! At first I thought it was a coincidence. But he outted himself when he said he saw it scheduled a few days in advance. Totally creepy!!!
Ive moved twice since he & i dated. I occasionally get a random card or text that pops up on my restricted cell phone. When he texts it never says a phone number- i think he does it via computer? I realized recently too that my Drs office is affiliated with that healthcare system. I think he gets the info that way?
Is it possible that your ex gets your info in a roundabout way? Either thru the work he does or a friend? Or someome who works for a utility co? Banking co? We never think bout not giving our info out to such places.
Just a thought perhaps?
That's a serious security
That's a serious security violation and illegal. You cannot use your position in a company to gain information for personal use. I work for a telecommunications company. I could easily look up info(address/phone#/SS#) on BM and her platinum white trash family, but I don't because I don't want to lose my job. They are so not worth it.
One. I've never had a stalker
One. I've never had a stalker issue so no advice there.
Two. My OSD has a golden uterus, thank god only one child so far. She had no contact with DH for about 2 years and started calling when she got pregnant. My DH has to love her because she's his blood but he doesn't trust her and doesn't ask me to be anything more than I'm capable of being with her. I politely ignore her and speak only if spoken to most of the time. We love our grandson, he's almost 3 but we don't go out of our way to try to see him. (And they live in the same town as us) my mil thinks OSD and golden grand baby are her universe. OSD and mil always try to have DH over and constantly try to refer to golden grand baby as looking like my DH or "just like DH when he was a baby." It's sad watching my DH struggle with wanting a good close relationship with his daughter but I doubt he will ever be able to fully trust her intentions. I have 3 other grandchildren that are with us often even when we travel. I've never let OSD think I care enough about her or her baby because she is definately manipulative enough to use him. She does with my mil daily. OSD has hair, nails, wardrobe provided by mil because she lives with her and plays the "so exhausted single mother" routine but she doesn't work and mil does 90% of golden grand baby care and provides for his needs too.
Just be glad Your sd lives so far away
SAF, if the threat to kill
SAF, if the threat to kill your DH was in an email that's a cyber crime and the state police should be able to take care of that for you. Also, have you tried looking him up on spokeo? Just getting an address could help you get him served...though someone that insane it may make it worse. Also, you can try net detective, I did find it most helpful in gathering information.
Haha, "squirts the birth".
Haha, "squirts the birth". You got me with that one, LOL
Ugh, how annoying (SD) and
Ugh, how annoying (SD) and how scary (XH)
I CANNOT STAND when pregnant women who are like 4 months pregnant or even 6 month complain about how sore their back is or how they have trouble sleeping, I do understand when its your first you have no idea what to expect- HOWEVER save the complaining for when you are huge, swollen waddle and really can't sleep. i just look at them like, you have NO idea. SAF, I would be irritated too