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XH is still alive... but certainly not well...

StickAFork's picture

Ugh, I am exhausted. So much stress...SD's baby's impending arrival, MIL's cancer, DS's graduation, and XH's "suicide" have all left me depleted. What a nutty few days I've had.

Tomorrow, we should get some answers on MIL's cancer...hopefully where it originates, hopefully how serious it is. This woman has gone out of her way to make me uncomfortable and miserable. BM is a saint (gag) and is "beautiful inside and out" and will forever be her "daughter in love." So, whatever, I don't wish MIL a miserable death, but she'd sure as ass better be sick. She made a comment to DH about how nice it is "to have her family all together again" and laments needing to get sick to accomplish that. If she's making it up...I'll kill her myself. DH is a mess. He wanted to fly there with two days' notice. Um, honey, that costs a fortune and it's just an appointment. Sad

Anyway, XH is such a failure that he failed even at killing himself. Sadly, no one else has bothered to see if he's still around...not his brother, his parents, his friend. No one...but me. XW #2. Welp, I did a little internet work (some may call it stalking Wink ) and reached the local sheriff's office to find out that XH:

Walked into a McDonald's brandishing a loaded gun. Told everyone he wanted to kill himself. Started crying. Sat down at a table where people were eating, set the gun, a knife, and a suicide note on the table. Cried hysterically and kept repeating that he wanted to kill himself.
Not surprisingly, the cops were called. He got his happy ass hauled away and sent to the funny farm for an involuntary evaluation.
Lovely. I spent 15 years with this man. His genes are in my kids.

Wow. I'm still not sure how I feel about all of this. Relieved that I don't have to tell my kids that their father killed himself, but half wonder why the hell he didn't finish the job. I know, that sounds probably is... he's just left such a path of destruction everywhere he's gone. Sad

On another note, SMs/new SO's to men with previously enjoyed families...just remember that any story you hear is biased. I finally reached XH's once-GF, mooch offer, not sure how to classify her...and she ripped me a new asshole before telling me to never call her again and then hung up on me.
The only words I said... I asked if she'd seen him recently, and answered (when she asked why I cared) that he had written about killing himself and I was concerned because my kids deserved to know if their father was dead. Lovely white, trailer trash she is... but CLEARLY she drank whatever koolaid he sold her about me.
Maybe someday I'll spend time to detail how nice I have been to him since the day he moved out, but right now... I'm just kinda reeling.


littleladybug's picture

Sounds like you have a pretty full plate on your hands right now. Hang in there.

It must suck to have a MIL in BM's corner. I feel pretty fortunate that my in-laws all hate BM. Yes, I know that sounds awful.

StickAFork's picture

MIL and FIL adore BM. I cannot fathom why. She's a miserable, lying, selfish woman, among other things.
Gah, I just stay out of the drama and rise above the fray. Most days. Now that DH is in daily contact with her, it's a little harder to accomplish that.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

Sounds like you have good taste in men.

Hope your new DH survives you without going insane.

StickAFork's picture

I know, right?

He has burned every bridge he's ever crossed. His own parents and brother haven't tried to find/help him. XW #1 called me, and that was the extent of her search. His friend who helped him more than once and for years at a time...wants nothing to do with him because he stole from them. On and on. He's just gone off the rails. Hard.

StickAFork's picture

^^Yes. This is EXACTLY it. The officer who gave me the info started with, "This is going to sound really weird." About halfway through, I told him it sounded just right, and not weird at all.
My XH NEEDS attention. Not just any attention, pity attention. He's forever the victim. Nothing is ever his fault. His choices are always solid. He is always, always the downtrodden victim. His FB suicide note got like 5 comments. The one from his mothers was "I'll email you." The others were people from HS who said "stick in there" and "I've got good memories of you in HS." WTH?
He definitely didn't get the big swell of attention he was likely expecting.
The loaded gun/McD thing? WTF. More of the same. He will always feel sorry for himself. The man is almost 50. It's just really sad.

StickAFork's picture

This is the same gun toter who put a loaded shotgun to my head and threatened to kill me...the last night he was in our house.

StickAFork's picture

It was pretty left field at the time. He'd never used a weapon before that night. We hadn't even been fighting. I had given him one final (again) ultimatum to get his temper under wraps, and he failed. I had told him I was really serious and he needed to find a place to move to.
All was calm. He totally understood. He was very remorseful.
He drove his ass to Walmart, bought a shotgun and ammo, and came right back.
It went really bad really fast. He didn't come back to our home after that.

PeanutandSons's picture

Its so hard when these big events happen all at once. Sad

You'll get through it. Put SD and her baby out of your head...the gift is bought and sent. Put dh out of your head for now....he's safe in a mental hospital for now. Focus on helping dh deal with his mothers cancer.

Onefootout's picture

Wow 13 hour days + grad school. I went back to school to start a second career, but I certainly didn't work 13 hr days. Good on you. I wish you the best, and that XH of yours will always try to be a distraction to you. He sounds like my SO's most recent Borderline stalker ex-wife. She 'tried' to kill herself with a lot of Benadryl. Yeah right.

My first college roommate tried to kill herself with pistachio nuts and MY entire bottle of Tylenol. Even tried to get me to buy the nuts for her, I refused.

These people, they will suck the life out of you if you let them.